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  #1  
Old 07-29-2023, 08:45 AM
carnation carnation is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sen's Revenge View Post

Did your organization ever sell itself as a legacy club or otherwise guarantee that your daughters would have a fair chance, or even a fighting chance? Or is that a belief that you held that really has no origin besides hopes that became your reality? [This has happened to me when joining a fraternal organization.]

Has the organization remained consistent in what its mission or purpose is? I imagine that most haven't changed fundamentally, such as doing good work in the community with friends.

I see and hear various complaints about NPC sorority councils (I presume this is synonymous with Executive Boards). Are these women not elected by the body (national convention)? Are they not democratically accountable to anyone? If your voice is not at the table, is there not a way to make it so? (Alumnae chapter leadership?)

All in all, what I'm trying to say is this: It's fine to feel hurt, and then numb. But I also think there is a time to engage and lodge the complaints. Not by withholding dues or donations, or even letters to leadership. (And not by social media quibbles and spats, which a lot of people believe is action.) But to be engaged in the democratic process in-person until THAT process doesn't work anymore.
Our organizations used to honor legacies with policies that at least gave our daughters one more shot to be noticed during rush. If they made it all the way through to preferential parties, they were put on the bid list. I don't know if any groups have legacy preferences now.

Our organizations have many legacy songs and some have special pins that legacies can wear. Mothers and sisters can come to initiation.

Many of our organizations have changed. From being a group of like-minded women, they have devolved into political organizations. (Look up the Kappa Kappa Gamma suit at the University of Wyoming.) Because of this, the NPCs have lost incredible amounts of money and some alum clubs have folded in protest. There are many of us who will resign if our groups remove God and Christ from the rituals (some groups are trying).

I have heard of numerous cases in which committees were stacked to get the voting results that various sororities wanted. Major decisions were made at the council level in which members had no say and then the council would express fake surprise at the members' anger. Some sororities are putting on a show of pretending to backtrack and consult the membership but no one believes them anymore.

Though none of my daughters were rejected from my sorority (my group never had a chapter where they rushed), I am definitely down on my group. I have cut off all contributions. I have 5 granddaughters with the oldest now in high school, and I don't care if they rush. Several times a month, I hear something revolting that an NPC group has pulled on their members without consulting them and who wants people they love to be subjectd to that?
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Old 07-29-2023, 08:59 AM
carnation carnation is offline
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Also, to PJS: I do know of many women who feel as you do. Their daughters were cut from their sororities and on Bid Day, they walked over to their daughters' sorority houses and became involved volunteers there. They were never involved in their own sororities again. Some ceased all donations and others resigned.

One woman I know had 2 daughters who pledged her sorority and when the second one was still in the chapter, the 3rd daughter rushed at that school. The chapter cut that daughter, and the in-house daughter quit. I believe the oldest sister did too. The mother then spent all her time and money at the 3rd daughter's sorority.

Women from the chapter actually told people that there wasn't really anything wrong with the 3rd daughter, they just liked other women better. May this happen to those women when their own daughters rush.
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