New Recruitment Article

[VioletsAreBlue]

Any time I read articles like this or hear firsthand stories my heart goes out to them.

Without going into too much detail, I didn't get the bid my freshman year and dealt with the feeling of immediate heavy cuts.

I can't imagine what my mom felt watching me go through it, it kind of breaks my heart a bit to think of her hurting for me in that way, and it certainly wasn't something I appreciated at 18. Yes we know what to say, we know the things like "trust the process" and you have to "put in the work" but we say that from the perspective of having already been through it, being older and wiser, and having the gift of time to better understand and maybe even whitewash those strong feelings a bit.

However at the core there is an 18 year old girl who can't begin to understand the process and legitimately feels like she wasn't good enough. That's just reality and that's okay. In those moments sometimes your kid just needs to be sad and hurt before they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps. That's okay too.

It can get better though.

I accepted a bid to my favorite house on campus my sophomore year and then went on to become president.

I know sorority membership is not an absolute guarantee. They are not handing out participation trophies so everybody gets a bid everywhere. Life is not like that. But I do wish there were ways where this process wasn't quite as heartbreaking for those who get hurt along the way.

[carnation]

I honestly have not ever been able to think of a way to make it easier on the PNMs because a lot of that hurt comes not from them getting dropped from recruitment but from not getting the houses they want. Membership can't be forced.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by VioletsAreBlue

They are not handing out participation trophies so everybody gets a bid everywhere. Life is not like that. But I do wish there were ways where this process wasn't quite as heartbreaking for those who get hurt along the way.

Their snowplow parents have run interference for them to prevent them any disappointment to the point that they do expect to have their pick of sororities-both PNMs and parents. They do expect 1st place trophies because they have gotten trophies or awards for all the things they did growing up. They have been set up with unrealistic expectations, and when they are dropped by the perceived best chapters( never mind they still have excellent choices from which to choose) they, having never learned coping skills and being in a situation that mama can’t fix, drop out because they “didn’t connect” with their remaining choices. And the mamas blame it on the mean, bad, snooty sororities and the system.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Their snowplow parents have run interference for them to prevent them any disappointment to the point that they do expect to have their pick of sororities-both PNMs and parents. They do expect 1st place trophies because they have gotten trophies or awards for all the things they did growing up. They have been set up with unrealistic expectations, and when they are dropped by the perceived best chapters( never mind they still have excellent choices from which to choose) they, having never learned coping skills and being in a situation that mama can’t fix, drop out because they “didn’t connect” with their remaining choices. And the mamas blame it on the mean, bad, snooty sororities and the system.

Oh my lordy yes!

[carnation]

Have y'all noticed that all these people, especially PNM parents, are lamenting the size of the new member classes and saying that these universities need more sororities? But this isn't what they really want. They want less sororities so that everyone can be in the hot ticket sororities, even if it means pledge classes of, oh, 350 up.