Former members & drop outs hanging on

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by ham1

Writing in from a small chapter (around 20 ideal size) at a small school in a rural area. We have some brothers who for whatever reason have transferred out back to community college or have dropped/failed out entirely. These former brothers incorrectly assume they count as alumnae because they were a part of the chapter then had to leave for a reason other than dropping the fraternity. They continue to invite themselves to functions and ask to have current brothers let them into the house. Some of our current brothers are understandably really good friends with some of these former members as they pledged together or joined together as friends but some other brothers are uneasy about the situation and think their behavior is clingy and kind of sad. I understand these guys don't have much going on but they don't pay dues (they paid their debts but obviously aren't on the roster anymore) and don't even go to our school anymore.. their only connection is past membership for only a couple semesters at most and friends they still have.

Being too heavy handed on these guys would have the effect of pissing off their friends still in the chapter, and might cause some discord in our chapter, but letting these guys continue to cling to our chapter is not our responsibility.

Am I being a bit of a bitch here or has anyone else had this problem? I know at larger schools the system works a lot smoother and is more like a machine but our school support is limited and we play most things by ear

To the bold: It sounds like these brothers are still members in good standing with the fraternity. In other words, membership wasn't revoked. If not, and they simply dropped out of school or transferred, they are still members of your fraternity. Your membership doesn't start and end with the school/chapter you pledged and were initiated at. It's for life.

Also, what events are they showing up to that is making some brothers uneasy and uncomfortable? I can understand there being a problem if they were showing up to recruitment/rush events drunk, for example, and making the fraternity look bad in front of potential members, or if they crashed formal having not paid for anything. But if they're just hanging out at the fraternity house, where's the issue?

They're your brothers. Not former brothers, or past brothers, just your brothers. You initiated them and welcomed them into your organization, so why is there suddenly an issue with them? Because you think their life is sad? Please tell me that's not it.