Dirty Rushing

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Ultimately, it's your daughter's decision. But in my opinion, if she makes this a big deal now, she may kill any chance she has of joining a sorority. Since recruitment is over and she only brought this to someone's attention after she didn't get the bid she wanted, it may come back to bite her. Not pointing fingers here! But I'm sure that would be an argument made against her. But there's relatively few details for us to go on, so saying to do one thing over another is difficult without all of the facts in front of us. I'm not saying you should provide them all, but that's the position we're in here.

THIS!!!Don't take this any further. It will only end up working against your daughter, whether she rushes in a year or not. It might not be too late to step away with grace and dignity. Whatever you say to NPC or the sorority's national office, it most likely will not hurt the chapter, so let it go.

And if it's not too late, I would encourage your daughter to get together with members of the sorority that offered her a bid. It is much easier to see the real, day to day person after rush is over. She may find that she has a lot in common with them and might want to give pledgeship there a try. She has right up until initiation to make her final decision, and if, at that time, she feels no connection, then she can resign before she is initiated and can rush again. After all, she is bound to that sorority now until rush rolls around again next year, so she might as well give it a try.

[carnation]

Tdlegacy, every woman who has commented in this thread has been a sorority advisor on the local or regional level, plus many have also been involved with Panhellenic. Some of us are moms whose daughters' rushes may or may not have been so great. You would not believe the things we have seen or heard in recruitment.

Regardless,we can tell you that a bid will not appear now, no matter what kinds of proof you have. For now, her options are to remain independent until the next recruitment or to see if she can still pledge the sorority that gave her a bid. And I guarantee that if you get involved, she will not only never get a bid from the first sorority but that other sororities will talk and they won't want a member whose mom gets involved in the wrong way.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by carnation

Tdlegacy, every woman who has commented in this thread has been a sorority advisor on the local or regional level, plus many have also been involved with Panhellenic. Some of us are moms whose daughters' rushes may or may not have been so great. You would not believe the things we have seen or heard in recruitment.

Regardless,we can tell you that a bid will not appear now, no matter what kinds of proof you have. For now, her options are to remain independent until the next recruitment or to see if she can still pledge the sorority that gave her a bid. And I guarantee that if you get involved, she will not only never get a bid from the first sorority but that other sororities will talk and they won't want a member whose mom gets involved in the wrong way.

This. Your daughter will most certainly NOT benefit from an aggressive mother at this point. Her best game plan is to keep her grades up, join an activity or two, and if she gets a natural chance to make friends with sorority member, all the better. A natural chance being having a class or an activity with a sister of any sorority, not just the one she wanted. Nobody wants to give a bid to someone seen as desperate or pushy.

Honeychile,
Thank you for the advice and response. I do not think she is being pushy she has been friends with several girls in the sorority for 12 years. She still considers them friends but feels betrayed if that makes sense. The perception of betrayal needs to be cleared up or the friendships will be compromised.