Something needs to change

[Momoffour]

My daughter pledged a "low tier" house by choice. She felt more comfortable there and has been very happy with her new sisters. She had a friend that went through with her, and got cut from every house except for the one that my daughter pledged. She attended pref, but did not sign her MRABA. Before bid distribution, she was called and offered a snap bid from my daughter's chapter, but she declined because she was "torn". (Also known as having a bruised ego from being cut.) This girl said that she felt no connection to the 3 or 4 girls that she talked with during rush. Fast forward to 6 weeks later, and the same girl decided to attend a COB party at my daughter's house and actually loved it. They once again offered her a bid and she accepted. She is very happy. (And lucky in my opinion.) The thing that needs to be stressed here is that the formal rush experience may give you a glimpse of a chapter, but it isn't always the full picture. I find it very hard to believe that with a chapter as large as the ones at Ole Miss, your daughter can't find a handful of girls to call 'her people". As far as RFM is concerned, how would it be fair to the girls going through rush if they attended pref at a house where that house could only pledge 20% of the girls attending their pref party?

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by Momoffour

My daughter pledged a "low tier" house by choice. She felt more comfortable there and has been very happy with her new sisters. She had a friend that went through with her, and got cut from every house except for the one that my daughter pledged. She attended pref, but did not sign her MRABA. Before bid distribution, she was called and offered a snap bid from my daughter's chapter, but she declined because she was "torn". (Also known as having a bruised ego from being cut.) This girl said that she felt no connection to the 3 or 4 girls that she talked with during rush. Fast forward to 6 weeks later, and the same girl decided to attend a COB party at my daughter's house and actually loved it. They once again offered her a bid and she accepted. She is very happy. (And lucky in my opinion.) The thing that needs to be stressed here is that the formal rush experience may give you a glimpse of a chapter, but it isn't always the full picture. I find it very hard to believe that with a chapter as large as the ones at Ole Miss, your daughter can't find a handful of girls to call 'her people". As far as RFM is concerned, how would it be fair to the girls going through rush if they attended pref at a house where that house could only pledge 20% of the girls attending their pref party?

They should include this on the MRABA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Momoffour

As far as RFM is concerned, how would it be fair to the girls going through rush if they attended pref at a house where that house could only pledge 20% of the girls attending their pref party?

But there's the rub. The rushees/moms who rail against this are convinced that if RFM hadn't forced them to drop so many girls, she would have magically connected and been in that 20%.

[tcsparky]

Originally Posted by 33girl

But there's the rub. The rushees/moms who rail against this are convinced that if RFM hadn't forced them to drop so many girls, she would have magically connected and been in that 20%.

Not realizing that if you didn't make it to the top 50% out of everybody going through to get an invite to the next round, you probably won't make the top 20% when they make their bid lists after Preference!

[JLCo]

I agree. The math supports that RFM helps the girls who probably would not have made it into a top tier sorority get into a middle or lower tier who would have, without RFM, been strung along by the top tier and then ended up with no bid from any tier.

It seems like most who get in the top couple of houses are those who are well connected. Having another 20 minute conversation with a few girls from the top sorority on day 2 or even day 3 is not likely going to make a person connected and get them in there. All of my daughter's dance friends who stayed in state for college got into top tier sororities due to their connections. Once someone from a dance studio gets into the top tier, they pull the younger girls in that they used to dance with.

Originally Posted by carnation

Seven of my daughters have rushed, and I have mixed feelings about RFM. On the one hand, more girls are getting bids and the stronger groups are being forced to drop girls earlier whom they would've strung along until pref parties back in the day. These girls didn't get bids and they never knew what hit them because the sororities had seemed to show interest in them.

and

Originally Posted by tcsparky

Not realizing that if you didn't make it to the top 50% out of everybody going through to get an invite to the next round, you probably won't make the top 20% when they make their bid lists after Preference!

[PearlGirl13]

Originally Posted by Momoffour

My daughter pledged a "low tier" house by choice. She felt more comfortable there and has been very happy with her new sisters. She had a friend that went through with her, and got cut from every house except for the one that my daughter pledged. She attended pref, but did not sign her MRABA. Before bid distribution, she was called and offered a snap bid from my daughter's chapter, but she declined because she was "torn". (Also known as having a bruised ego from being cut.) This girl said that she felt no connection to the 3 or 4 girls that she talked with during rush. Fast forward to 6 weeks later, and the same girl decided to attend a COB party at my daughter's house and actually loved it. They once again offered her a bid and she accepted. She is very happy. (And lucky in my opinion.) The thing that needs to be stressed here is that the formal rush experience may give you a glimpse of a chapter, but it isn't always the full picture. I find it very hard to believe that with a chapter as large as the ones at Ole Miss, your daughter can't find a handful of girls to call 'her people". As far as RFM is concerned, how would it be fair to the girls going through rush if they attended pref at a house where that house could only pledge 20% of the girls attending their pref party?

I'm happy for your daughter and now I'm even happy for your daughter's new sister. But I think it is time for you to quit reminding us and yourself that your daughter pledged a "low tier" sorority. Let it go. This story was great on it's own - it doesn't matter if she pledged the snowflakiest of all snowflake sororities - she is happy with her choice, you are happy for her and we all need to quit chewing on the tier thing!