Okay to ask here...?

[windinthewillow]

Where do you live, QLB817? Sorority membership is difficult to find in places like the Northeast. I sympathize with the OP. Women in the south have an easier time finding sorority members in their community.

She might have some success contacting each individual sorority's IO. There are often women designated to interviewing PNMs, and if she seems like a good fit, writing her a rec.

Agree with you about putting together a resume. A headshot is helpful too. Be sure to write a thank you note to all the women who have written recs.

[PhilTau]

For a variety of reasons, typical members do not publicize their fraternity or sorority affiliation after leaving college, and it usually drops off the resume after the first job. So, if you are looking for reference letters, you really do need to ask everyone you know who attended college. You'd be surprised.

On this website, there are several threads about how to get recommendations. Read them.

[TXDG]

Originally Posted by windinthewillow

Where do you live, QLB817? Sorority membership is difficult to find in places like the Northeast. I sympathize with the OP. Women in the south have an easier time finding sorority members in their community.

She might have some success contacting each individual sorority's IO. There are often women designated to interviewing PNMs, and if she seems like a good fit, writing her a rec.

Agree with you about putting together a resume. A headshot is helpful too. Be sure to write a thank you note to all the women who have written recs.

I grew up in Texas and live there now but lived in the northeast for a few years after college. There are tons of Greek alumni there and most all groups have large and active alumni groups in the major cities like Boston, NYC, etc.

Shokiara, these are my standard suggestions when pnms think they don't know any sorority women to ask for recs:
1. Start by asking everyone you know if they were in a sorority (neighbors, teachers, people from your part time jobs, women whose kids you babysat, your friends' moms and sisters, your mom and grandma's friends, women from your place of worship, etc). You literally never know!!

2. Look up all of the national sorority Facebook pages for the chapters that are ok your campus. If someone you are friends with "likes" that page, they are most likely a member. Same with alumnae group pages - if you are from, say, Chicago, look up Chicago Delta Gamma, Chicago Kappa Delta, etc to see if you know anyone who "likes" those pages.

3. Do you have any friends from home who have joined a NPC sorority at any campus?? If so, ask who wrote their recs. They may be aware of sorority connections not on your radar.

4. Last resort - if you get to where you just need a handful of recs left, post on your Facebook and tag your mother/ sisters/ grandmother (with their permission, of course)....say that your planning to go through recruitment at the University of Missouri and are still seeking recommendations from the following sororities: ABC, AAA, & XYZ. You're bound to find someone who is at least a family friend this way. I see these posts every summer on Facebook and if anyone I trust is ever tracking down a rec for my group, I try to help!


Junior rush is an uphill battle in and of itself. Best to be as prepared as you possibly can be with recs for all groups, a 3.5+ GPA, and some solid campus involvement and leadership.

[windinthewillow]

Originally Posted by TXDG

I grew up in Texas and live there now but lived in the northeast for a few years after college. There are tons of Greek alumni there and most all groups have large and active alumni groups in the major cities like Boston, NYC, etc.

Shokiara, these are my standard suggestions when pnms think they don't know any sorority women to ask for recs:
1. Start by asking everyone you know if they were in a sorority (neighbors, teachers, people from your part time jobs, women whose kids you babysat, your friends' moms and sisters, your mom and grandma's friends, women from your place of worship, etc). You literally never know!!

2. Look up all of the national sorority Facebook pages for the chapters that are ok your campus. If someone you are friends with "likes" that page, they are most likely a member. Same with alumnae group pages - if you are from, say, Chicago, look up Chicago Delta Gamma, Chicago Kappa Delta, etc to see if you know anyone who "likes" those pages.

3. Do you have any friends from home who have joined a NPC sorority at any campus?? If so, ask who wrote their recs. They may be aware of sorority connections not on your radar.

4. Last resort - if you get to where you just need a handful of recs left, post on your Facebook and tag your mother/ sisters/ grandmother (with their permission, of course)....say that your planning to go through recruitment at the University of Missouri and are still seeking recommendations from the following sororities: ABC, AAA, & XYZ. You're bound to find someone who is at least a family friend this way. I see these posts every summer on Facebook and if anyone I trust is ever tracking down a rec for my group, I try to help!


Junior rush is an uphill battle in and of itself. Best to be as prepared as you possibly can be with recs for all groups, a 3.5+ GPA, and some solid campus involvement and leadership.

That's good advice you're giving to the OP.

I do want to say that I literally didn't know a single soul who was in a sorority when I was getting ready to go to college, nor did my parents. I truly think some PNMs are at a disadvantage in certain geographic areas of the country when they go to big Greek schools.

[GreekOne]

I represented my alumnae chapter as a Panhellenic delegate for our local Panhellenic Association. This is made up of alumnae of every NPC chapter. While serving in that role, I had many women reach out and ask if they could meet so that I could get to know them, and then complete a recommendation. Along with the good advice above, see if your community has an Alumnae Panhellenic and you will be able to find a great deal of assistance from multiple chapters with one contact.

[QLB817]

Originally Posted by TXDG

...Look up all of the national sorority Facebook pages for the chapters that are ok your campus. If someone you are friends with "likes" that page, they are most likely a member. Same with alumnae group pages - if you are from, say, Chicago, look up Chicago Delta Gamma, Chicago Kappa Delta, etc to see if you know anyone who "likes" those pages.

This is great advice. As a test, I went through and just did a Facebook search for a specific NPC group. It pulled up the national Facebook page and a few campus pages, alumnae groups, etc, but it also pulled up posts my friends had made or liked that had that sorority in the post. I found one AOII that I didn't previously know about because she made a post a few months back mentioning it and also a few people that had liked or commented on someone's post or picture mentioning that sorority. If that person seems to be good friends with my Facebook friend, it may have been worth reaching out to see if an intro could have been arranged.

Now don't go all stalker level with that, but it could help point out connections for you. Facebook's algorithms sometimes may prevent people from seeing your post asking about recs, so this could be helpful. Twitter or Instagram may be helpful like that too, but that would be finding recent alums more often, as most of us old folks use Facebook still.

[QLB817]

Originally Posted by windinthewillow

Where do you live, QLB817? Sorority membership is difficult to find in places like the Northeast. I sympathize with the OP. Women in the south have an easier time finding sorority members in their community.

She might have some success contacting each individual sorority's IO. There are often women designated to interviewing PNMs, and if she seems like a good fit, writing her a rec.

Agree with you about putting together a resume. A headshot is helpful too. Be sure to write a thank you note to all the women who have written recs.

I'm technically in the south, but up closer to the Mason Dixon line. OP said she is at Mizzou, so that's similar to me here (northern part of the south!) and Mizzou is technically a SEC school. But while yes, down in the South, sorority ladies are in every nook and cranny, there are a lot more alumnae up north than I think people realize. I think the South has a tradition of your sorority membership being public after leaving school. In the North, they are involved in alumnae groups, but it's not as much of a publicly known thing about a person.

[clemsongirl]

Originally Posted by QLB817

I'm technically in the south, but up closer to the Mason Dixon line. OP said she is at Mizzou, so that's similar to me here (northern part of the south!) and Mizzou is technically a SEC school. But while yes, down in the South, sorority ladies are in every nook and cranny, there are a lot more alumnae up north than I think people realize. I think the South has a tradition of your sorority membership being public after leaving school. In the North, they are involved in alumnae groups, but it's not as much of a publicly known thing about a person.

Could not agree more about this. When I was looking for recs, I found a field hockey/church mom, a high school guidance counselor, and multiple older girls from the field hockey team all of whom I had no idea were members. It does get harder when you're looking for recs when there's no active group in the state, but the field hockey/church mom was a Kappa (from William & Mary no less!) and was still very active in the state alum association.