Can we get honest about hazing?

[Sciencewoman]

My son is a fraternity member and he was not hazed. Neither was my daughter, but I know there are/were fraternities on her campus that did/do haze. One was closed due to a serious infraction, but some of the others overtly engage in what I'm sure they feel is "harmless" public hazing, and that does make you wonder what goes on behind closed doors. For example, one fraternity has pledges dress up in various costumes, which they wear around campus for a day or two (alligator pledge -- dresses up in an alligator costume and rides around campus stomach-down on a skateboard, gorilla and banana pledge -- gorilla pledge is supposed to try to catch banana pledge, and grandma pledge -- he passes out cookies at a table outside the library and tells everyone to study and get enough sleep, etc.). This is looked at as being funny, and no one seems to be concerned. But again, it does make you wonder what else happens....

There is a hazing hotline. 1-888-NOT-HAZE

However, when the punishment is having your chapter closed, that doesn't prompt 18-19 year-olds to make a call or report hazing. Many groups have their own hazing hotline.

The recent letter from Phi Delta Theta national director/president calls for parents to have conversations with their sons, and for advisors to be proactive and aware. I think that is a step in the right direction. Involved adults need to ask these questions and advisors need to keep tabs, educate younger members, and step in.

The Chronicle of Higher Education has published a series of articles about risk management issues associated with fraternities. Most can only be accessed with a subscription, but this is an accessible opinion piece on Colorado-Boulder's efforts to self-govern:

http://www.chronicle.com/article/Fra...1057?cid=cp141

[GreekOne]

I share your concerns. There is overwhelming evidence that hazing takes place in many fraternity chapters. I was not hazed, nor was my daughter. I think that most NPC chapters have eliminated this in their chapters.

Until enough pledges stand up and say they won't tolerate it --and are willing to walk away it likely won't change. If enough pledges walk away and a chapter is struggling with numbers, they may begin to realize that it can't continue.

Parents need to have very honest conversations with their initiated members reminding them that they weren't raised to humiliate and degrade others.

Most importantly, the change has to come from within. When chapter leaders are empowered to bring about change and they embrace that responsibility, it can be effective. Thinking that administrative initiatives will make real change is naive. Students will go underground and continue inappropriate behaviors. They can't be watched 24/7.

When I was raising my children, I always told them what my expectations were. I explained to them why I had certain rules. I felt it important to empower my kids to make good choices when they are away from me because I couldn't always be with them giving advice. They have to carry the voice of reason within themselves.

Continued education and conversations from advisers and parents need to happen until we can get through to those participating that it is not fun and games. Far too many young lives are being lost needlessly. It is heartbreaking.