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(it's a crime to drink under aged but apparently that doesn't matter to them)
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If that is honestly the vibe you are putting across, it's no wonder that you are having problems.
I had several sisters who rarely, if not never, drank and nobody noticed or cared because they were some of the most gregarious and fun people to be around. They also weren't walking around citing the drinking laws to the rest of us.
If you don't have to go to bars (ie it's not a sorority event) and don't enjoy yourself when you're there, don't go. Find the other girls who don't care for it. Lots of people, whether they drink or not, simply do not enjoy the bar scene. As far as tailgates are concerned, is there some sort of function you could perform that takes you out of the partying part of it - like does the school have a tent to greet the alumni or some such thing that you could work at? (Disclaimer, I know zero about tailgate culture)
You're a sophomore, I assume, and there are going to be girls your age who are "older" sorority wise. This usually levels out once you've been initiated. As long as you get along with them that's the important part.
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