Legacies are considered mother, sister, grandmother. Aunt/cousin wouldn't strengthen recommendation - unless possibly from that particular chapter.
Not sure about ALL schools, but many do allow small cross body bags.
There actually ARE sororities that consider nieces of members to be legacies. There is no hard and fast rule for EVERY NPC. Some don't count anything beyond daughter and sister.
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AOII
One Motto, One Badge, One Bond and Singleness of Heart!