Does a legacy need a letter of recommendation? - Page 2

mythreedd · #16 08-08-2006, 06:26 PM

Are you considered a legacy if a pnm's mother was pledged and was initiated but later transferred schools and graduated from a school where there was not a Greek system?

Thanks!

OtterXO · #17 08-08-2006, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mythreedd

Are you considered a legacy if a pnm's mother was pledged and was initiated but later transferred schools and graduated from a school where there was not a Greek system?

Thanks!

I believe if she took alum status as opposed to resigning her membership then the PNM would be a legacy.

AlphaFrog · #18 08-08-2006, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mythreedd

Are you considered a legacy if a pnm's mother was pledged and was initiated but later transferred schools and graduated from a school where there was not a Greek system?

Thanks!

Yes. If she was initiated and never terminated, yes.

AGDLynn · #19 08-08-2006, 10:39 PM

This happened to me recently when I was doing a recommendation.

The pnm listed her gmother as being an "Alpha Gamma". I looked on our member site but didn't see the gmother's name. I called her mom and while her mom was on the phone with me, she was also on the cell phone calling her mom to verify what sorority.

Says yes, it was Alpha Gamma Delta and she even remembered the songs!

So, I called IHQ to verify that the gmother was in Good Standing, thankfully she was.

I called back to mom and got gmother's email address and sent her some info and suggested she update her contact info on the Alpha Gam website.

I still sent in the RIF and the gmother was going to send in a legacy form.

On another note, I know of an Alpha Gam who's mother didn't tell her SHE was an Alpha Gam until after the collegiate pledged. Not sure why.

But often, pnm's don't realize that it is to their benefit to make sure they tripled check with mom, gmother, etc. to see if they were initiated into a sorority and in Good Standing (if not, the member might say no, I wasn't an XXX and not have to explain what happened)....of course this applies to the guys too!!

Drolefille · #20 08-09-2006, 12:38 AM

Our campus' regsitration forms had the question "do you have any relatives who were in a sorority or fraternity" Technically the form was for fraternity rush too, but the one or two times guys actually filled one out they got sent to panhel. Imagine going through facebook and finding out a PNM is a guy! Oops!

Anyway, girls would list anyone and everyone they were related to who was Greek. This meant that if she put down that her cousin was an XYZ, panhel's list of legacies included Susie PNM as an XYZ legacy EVEN if XYZ only counted mothers or grandmothers. Recommendations were basically unknown on our campus and I don't recall girls getting dropped strictly because they were legacies. In fact we enjoyed "stealing" legacies from each other.

Zillini · #21 08-09-2006, 09:48 AM

Situations I've seen in my years:

- PNM flat out lied
- PNM was mistaken, especially if it involved Grandma who had passed away.
- PNM didn't know she was a legacy until late in the game, again often a passed away Grandma.
- Non-Greek mother sent in the legacy intro info on behalf of Grandma who had passed away.
- The alum was too embarrassed to admit to her family that her membership was cancelled.
- An alum who voluntarily cancelled her membership (quit) didn't realize that meant her PNM was no longer considered a legacy.

So my answer is yes, always send a letter of rec or legacy intro. Then the Chapter needs to verify that it is in fact accurate. I also agree that questions will be asked if a Mom, Sister or Grandma doesn't bother writing an intro.

rusheemom · #22 08-09-2006, 11:07 AM

I was told that as the Mom of a legacy rushee - that we were NOT to involve ourselves at all. My daughter could write on her registration form that she was a leg, and on her resume, but that I could not write ANYTHING. My daughter is actually a double legacy, but her grandmother passed away in May, so wouldn't have been able to write in her behalf anyway. I'm sure it's different from school to school, but in the bigger schools here in the Midwest, we were told to keep quiet.

Zillini · #23 08-09-2006, 11:20 AM

Rusheemom, I'm curious as to where you heard this information as I've never heard that before. Was it Panhellenic? Your home Chapter? Regardless of where my advice is to double check. Go to the source: the campus Panhellenic, your International GLO and maybe even check with your GLO's Chapter/Recruitment Advisor. I would hate to see you act on misinformation. I'm not saying it is wrong because I know every campus is different, but please make sure it's not some false rumor.

rusheemom · #24 08-09-2006, 11:24 AM

It was from a chapter recruitment advisor - but maybe I'd better do some more checking, because my daughter starts rush on Monday!!! She does have some good recs to my sorority and the girls there know she's a bona fide legacy, but now I'm worried that maybe I SHOULD have written a letter of introduction. I have never heard of this before I joined this network.

irishpipes · #25 08-09-2006, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rusheemom

It was from a chapter recruitment advisor - but maybe I'd better do some more checking, because my daughter starts rush on Monday!!! She does have some good recs to my sorority and the girls there know she's a bona fide legacy, but now I'm worried that maybe I SHOULD have written a letter of introduction. I have never heard of this before I joined this network.

I agree with Zillini - that doesn't sound right. I am sure they don't want you inserting yourself in the recruitment process and being a pain, but to tell you not to write an introduction doesn't sound right.

33girl · #26 08-09-2006, 12:51 PM

I think they mean you are not to fill out her registration form.

Writing a letter of recommendation would be a different piece o' paper.

They may have had experiences with moms filling out the form and then the daughter gets there and has no clue what is actually on it.

carnation · #27 06-28-2015, 09:08 AM

bumping because I've been asked this lately

xibair · #28 06-28-2015, 01:40 PM

Carnation thank you so much for bumping this thread.
This has been bothering me for me weeks and unsure what to do.

Question to all GCers, should I go ahead and fill out an Alpha Xi Delta recommendation for niece even though she may or may not follow through with sorority rush?

Here is my long winded story. I will not state the school since many of you can figure it out so quickly.

A year ago my niece was accepted to an instate school and I always believed sorority experience would suite her since she was smart, beautiful, but an introvert. She reminded me of myself as an introvert and I grew into my shell because of my sorority experience and holding an executive officer position. I believe this would be a beneficial experience for her. So, I gave her the all the information I read on GC and she showed no interest. I was kind of okay with it but I must admit I was disappointed. On a biased note I was hoping she would participate in rush because there is an Alpha Xi chapter at her university. I never brought it up again unless she asked.

Approximately three weeks ago she came over to my house and informed me she is going to rush this fall and needed help. I fell on the floor and was beyond excited. I asked her what changed her mind and it was because she had some close friends who are Delta Gamma’s . She asked me about how you deal with rejection. So we spent hours of research and I never thought about asking how her GPA was.
OH MY… It’s awful. The reason for the poor grades is because of my BIL. I’m not sure if you read my past posts but he has been in numerous failed rehabs for alcohol and he continues to deteriorate.Both my niece and nephew needs to go to counseling but that is a whole different issue.

So I was blunt. She needs to improve her grades and concentrate on school. I informed her she probably would be dropped by most if not all because of her poor grades. I broke her heart and now she is not sure if she wants to participate in formal rush .

I still feel awful and not sure what to do.

DaffyKD · #29 06-28-2015, 01:47 PM

I sent in a legacy form and my best friend (my daughter's godmother) sent in a recommendation form when my daughter started at a school with a KD chapter. She had told me she had no plans to go through recruitment, but I wanted everything in place in case she changed her mind when she found out friends would be going through. I figured it would only help to have it on file and could not hurt.

When I was at convention the following summer I met several young ladies from her school. I mentioned my daughter attending that school and one of the young ladies asked if I had sent in a rec form for her. When I told her, "yes," she informed me they had no idea what to do with the form as they had never seen one.

Daughter never went through recruitment. She did get involved on campus.

DaffyKD

33girl · #30 06-28-2015, 02:38 PM

The problem is not only are her grades bad, it's an exceptionally bad family situation which I am sure neither she nor you want to put out there. If he's been in rehab I'm sure that there are money issues too.

She needs to get things together before rushing, because even if she would somehow get a bid, her sisters are not equipped to be therapists. Better that you were honest with her than for her to go through rush and have rejection heaped on her other problems.