I suicided

[pinksequins]

There are two issues: The one, as AZTheta pointed out, is the perspective on the practice of ISP: some find it offensive; some find it is what it is. Varying perspectives are fine. The second issue is lecturing. A number of posters objected to lecturing. I would agree with them --- lecturing frequently backfires, only solidfying the recipient's mindset. (Think also of other contexts such as the workplace or politics. What oftentimes happens is that people try to avoid the chastiser). The second is a style issue rather than a substance issue. There are ways to frame a potentially more effective or persuasive response. Here, for example, it might have been: "Not receiving a bid to House #2 seems to be the first outcome you sought. The second outcome of a bid to a different house will be, as you know, a challenge. There are fewer slots and they are often given to women who are already friends. The odds are long, but sign up with the Greek Life office". That response is relatively factual and makes the point. Is it persusive? Who knows (and does it matter)? But it puts the responsibility and action back in her court. And I do give credit to those who see "What are my chances" as a euphemism for a complaint. Answer: Sign up and you will find out.

[Katmandu]

The differing points of view and the insights shared on this thread have been interesting and helpful to me, and frankly, these types of threads are one of the reasons I stay connected to GC. I am one who would typically encourage a PNM to list all of her options, give it a try, etc, and tell a collegian that there is "no way you won't find friends in a 100+ member chapter."

But as several have pointed out, there ARE valid reasons to SIP--and what seem to us to be invalid reasons, may still be vital to the 18/19 year old woman who is living this experience. It's also a good reminder for me that when we are sharing experience and giving advice to PNMs, there is a clear cut difference between hand slapping and lecturing and stating cause/effect and laying out realistic options.