How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[als463]

Originally Posted by bakd

I really am seeing that this really is a generational thing. Let me give an example:

I have a cousin that was in the military back in the 1970s. He was made promises as to his retirement benefits and medical benefits back when he joined. He specifically looked at his situation and decided it was a good enough offer and each year as he made decisions as to whether he would re-enlist. If the current Congress were to come along and say that they are going to cut his benefits, he would be very upset! After all, he put his life in harm's way and spent his life making decisions based on this contract.

There was an informal contract made between the actives, the alums, and the national organizations in the past. Today's alums are upset that the contract was broken. We were taught that it was a honor and a pleasure to have a legacy.

Now you want to charge us with being mentally unbalanced because we are unspeakable disappointed.

Help me understand this. Did you just equate a young woman not getting to join her mother's sorority to the loss of benefits that were actually IN A CONTRACT for our men and women in uniform? When I joined my sorority, I always thought it would be great to have my (future) daughter join but, I never thought, "Wow, if Phi Mu doesn't give my daughter a bid, I'm done!" That's a bid selfish to me.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by als463

Help me understand this. Did you just equate a young woman not getting to join her mother's sorority to the loss of benefits that were actually IN A CONTRACT for our men and women in uniform? When I joined my sorority, I always thought it would be great to have my (future) daughter join but, I never thought, "Wow, if Phi Mu doesn't give my daughter a bid, I'm done!" That's a bit selfish to me.

Yes, she did. I also agree with the rest of your statement. As I said earlier, she needs to check her perceptions.

I find it funny that she said "to say that a sorority woman shouldn't complain because it is unseemly just smacks of control." You know what smacks of control? The fact that the daughter is happy with where she is, that she knows membership selection is private, that she passive aggressively has told her organization, and that she has ignored responses from both older and younger members (including legacies) on this thread who said she was being ridiculous. That sounds a bit helicopter ish and honestly a little sad that she feels so betrayed/upset over this.

[bakd]

Originally Posted by als463

Help me understand this. Did you just equate a young woman not getting to join her mother's sorority to the loss of benefits that were actually IN A CONTRACT for our men and women in uniform? When I joined my sorority, I always thought it would be great to have my (future) daughter join but, I never thought, "Wow, if Phi Mu doesn't give my daughter a bid, I'm done!" That's a bid selfish to me.

Oh, pleeze don't pull the military card on me...

That was just the best analogy that I could think of off-hand.

I had 6 uncles that served in WWII, 2 in Korea, 1 cousin in Vietnam, and 2 in Desert Storm.

My step-father-in-law was career military.

Congress can and does change benefits and the military is justifiably upset:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/busine...fd2_story.html

I said that the other understanding was like a INFORMAL contract.

[als463]

Originally Posted by bakd

Oh, pleeze don't pull the military card on me...

That was just the best analogy that I could think of off-hand.

I had 6 uncles that served in WWII, 2 in Korea, 1 cousin in Vietnam, and 2 in Desert Storm.

My step-father-in-law was career military.

Congress can and does change benefits and the military is justifiably upset:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/busine...fd2_story.html

I said that the other understanding was like a INFORMAL contract.

That was a really bad analogy then. Also, just because you have people in your family who served doesn't mean you are all-knowing about military affairs. I realize that there have been cuts to military benefits, seeing as how both my husband and I are Iraq war veterans so, you don't need to post stories. WCSweet is 100% on point with what she said. I couldn't have said it better. Also, please don't pull that, "Well my brother, sister, mother, father, neighbor, milkman, gynecologist, etc. served in the military therefore I know" stuff. It will get you a look like this from anyone who ever served.