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My dad's wife is like that and I have developed some methods of coping with it. First- I "say" whatever I want to her, in my head. So I just think the really nasty come backs. Second- I remind myself that it must feel miserable to be so unhappy and critical all the time. Third- I put on my "teflon skin" and just ignore most of what she says.
People can only get to you if you let them. Don't let her.
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