Possible Thread: What to Do if You're Released from Recruitment

[MTSUGURL]

It's old, but I'm replying anyway - with my own experience as well as a bit of advice.

I went through recruitment as an upperclassmen, as a transfer and as a nontradional student. I had taken three years to work after I started out a very expensive private school with a major that I had no idea how I could use it in real life. (3 strikes already in most cases.) I had a less than stellar GPA. I was confident in who I was, I was involved in other campus organizations, and I had friends in sororities. I had recs for every group on campus but one that I assumed I wouldn't want, and 3 for my favorite.

Bottom line: I was not who they were looking for, but I was encouraged to try. I had been super involved in high school, but with an average GPA. I knew nothing about Greek life to the point that I pronounced Chi Omega wrong for 3 weeks before I went to school the first time and thought I wouldn't like Kappa Delta because one of their colors was green. I was the first in my family to go to a four year college, and if anyone I knew well was an an alumna of a sorority, they never mentioned it.

I was cut in the round before pref parties, and yes, I was disappointed. There were a few tears. I was drawn then not to the college experience, but the experience I could have as an alumna; honestly, this was the part I mourned. My Rho Chi was in tears, and actually met me with her twin sister who was also a Rho Chi and in the same sorority. She told me that I was a phenomenal person, and that had she been there she would have fought for me. I stayed close to these two girls for the rest of the time we were in college, and became good friends with a few other girls that I had met that told me how disappointed they were that they didn't see me again during recruitment.

No matter how much the girls in the sororities may have enjoyed my company, I was an illogical choice. They would have gotten two years out of me; being honest, I would likely not have enjoyed many mixers, etc. because I was simply in a different stage in my life. I do regret not going through recruitment MUCH sooner, and I regret not doing the research and preparation before I started my freshman year. I am still a bit wistful when friends talk about being involved in their alum chapters or helping out an active chapter, and if I have a daughter and it's something she wants to pursue I'll make sure she's more prepared than I was.

Be realistic. Know yourself and whether or not you can handle being rejected, but also if you go through recruitment and you are rejected, make an effort to nurture the friendships with girls that you feel you truly "clicked" with. You may have some wistfulness over this particular area in your life, and that's ok, but don't focus on it to the point that you miss some truly great experiences because they didn't come with Greek letters.

And PLEASE, PLEASE, if you join a service GLO, a local GLO, or another organization, go into it with a clean slate. They are different organizations with different purposes and structures. Love them for what they are and don't try to fit them into the mold of an NPC sorority.

[misscherrypie]

I pretty much went through almost the same sort of situation, so am offering my two cents.

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

It's old, but I'm replying anyway - with my own experience as well as a bit of advice.



I went through recruitment as an upperclassmen, as a transfer and as a nontradional student.

Bottom line: I was not who they were looking for, but I was encouraged to try.

I was completely released after second round, and yes, I was disappointed. To say the least.

Be realistic. Know yourself and whether or not you can handle being rejected, but also if you go through recruitment and you are rejected, make an effort to nurture the friendships with girls that you feel you truly "clicked" with. You may have some wistfulness over this particular area in your life, and that's ok, but don't focus on it to the point that you miss some truly great experiences because they didn't come with Greek letters.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I would NOT have become a member of an organization that offered many of the same experiences that I hoped to experience as a member of a NPC/MCG sorority if it wasn't for me going through recruitment. I daresay that I'd probably have had one friend for a short time, but I would NOT have made the lasting and heartfelt friendships that I've made during the past year since going through recruitment.

And PLEASE, PLEASE, if you join a service GLO, a local GLO, or another organization, go into it with a clean slate. They are different organizations with different purposes and structures. Love them for what they are and don't try to fit them into the mold of an NPC sorority.

I don't completely agree with this. If you want to be involved in an organization of a certain type, and those doors are closed for you....I daresay, get involved in activities that offer similar benefits. I did that (and Beta Sigma Phi isn't what I'm referring to) and it's proved to be the best decision that I could have ever made.

I will say, the Beta Sigma Phi chapter that I helped to found WAS started in an NPC mold. That was what we wanted and that was how we operated during the first few months of our existence. When we found that such a modus operandi was NOT what would allow us to thrive as a Beta Sigma Phi chapter and some disasters along the way, through pledge training and learning more about the organization that we are a part of......we began to modify how we operated. We still are proud of the traditions that we created as a chapter when we were founded.....but we have become much more...Beta-like in how we operate and what we do together as a chapter.

So, while I wouldn't recommend Beta Sigma Phi to all non-traditional students who are upperclasswomen who still feel the pull to become part of a sorority after being released from NPC Recruitment....it certainly was the right choice for me. I will admit that I struggled with my feelings of not belonging in the way in which I thought that I should have belonged for MONTHS after recruitment. To the point where I needed to seek therapy. Which I got and which did help.

Yet, I did find the right organizations to belong to. And I believe that is really, at the heart of it all, what women who are released from recruitment really want. Time does take care of the rest.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

It's old, but I'm replying anyway - with my own experience as well as a bit of advice.

I went through recruitment as an upperclassmen, as a transfer and as a nontradional student. I had taken three years to work after I started out a very expensive private school with a major that I had no idea how I could use it in real life. (3 strikes already in most cases.) I had a less than stellar GPA. I was confident in who I was, I was involved in other campus organizations, and I had friends in sororities. I had recs for every group on campus but one that I assumed I wouldn't want, and 3 for my favorite.

Bottom line: I was not who they were looking for, but I was encouraged to try. I had been super involved in high school, but with an average GPA. I knew nothing about Greek life to the point that I pronounced Chi Omega wrong for 3 weeks before I went to school the first time and thought I wouldn't like Kappa Delta because one of their colors was green. I was the first in my family to go to a four year college, and if anyone I knew well was an an alumna of a sorority, they never mentioned it.

I was cut in the round before pref parties, and yes, I was disappointed. There were a few tears. I was drawn then not to the college experience, but the experience I could have as an alumna; honestly, this was the part I mourned. My Rho Chi was in tears, and actually met me with her twin sister who was also a Rho Chi and in the same sorority. She told me that I was a phenomenal person, and that had she been there she would have fought for me. I stayed close to these two girls for the rest of the time we were in college, and became good friends with a few other girls that I had met that told me how disappointed they were that they didn't see me again during recruitment.

No matter how much the girls in the sororities may have enjoyed my company, I was an illogical choice. They would have gotten two years out of me; being honest, I would likely not have enjoyed many mixers, etc. because I was simply in a different stage in my life. I do regret not going through recruitment MUCH sooner, and I regret not doing the research and preparation before I started my freshman year. I am still a bit wistful when friends talk about being involved in their alum chapters or helping out an active chapter, and if I have a daughter and it's something she wants to pursue I'll make sure she's more prepared than I was.

Be realistic. Know yourself and whether or not you can handle being rejected, but also if you go through recruitment and you are rejected, make an effort to nurture the friendships with girls that you feel you truly "clicked" with. You may have some wistfulness over this particular area in your life, and that's ok, but don't focus on it to the point that you miss some truly great experiences because they didn't come with Greek letters.

And PLEASE, PLEASE, if you join a service GLO, a local GLO, or another organization, go into it with a clean slate. They are different organizations with different purposes and structures. Love them for what they are and don't try to fit them into the mold of an NPC sorority.

First, fancy seeing you around these parts lately.

Second, I wanted to comment on the "staying friends with sorority members and Rho Chis" aspect of this post (for the benefit of other PNMs reading.)

Some people go on to make friends with their Rho Chis and other sorority members, so those relationships may continue after bid day for those who receive bids (as you will see each other at different events.)

I know we talk a lot about recruitment being a place to meet people and your Rho Chi being a great resource and possibly a shoulder to cry on. Those are true. Some people REMAIN friends with their Rho Chis even when they don't get bids (i.e. MTSUGurl.)

However, I would caution those who don't receive a bid to recognize that after Bid Day, your Rho Chi and sorority member friends go back to being sorority members.

This means that you may not travel in the same circles, see each other everyday, etc. Your sorority member friends and former Rho Chi may not have time to hang out or be your shoulder to cry on like they may have been before or during recruitment.

Please don't take offense to this. It's not that they don't like you, are avoiding you because you aren't Greek, etc. It's just that people get back to their busy lives, sorority membership, etc. and don't always have time to be your shoulder after recruitment is over.

I've seen women get really sad/offended that their Rho Chi doesn't want to hang out and stuff after Bid Day (esp. when said PNM is released.) So just something to think about. I'd never want a PNM to be like "I didn't get a bid, then after Bid Day my Rho Chi never hung out with me. I thought she was supposed to be my friend, what gives???"