Advice on rushing again?

[greekdee]

You are far from the only PNM who has experienced this. Recruitment can be one of those things you have "to live it to believe it." By that, I mean people often go into it with no idea of how emotional it can become...and getting released from your favorite HURTS. The shock and disappointment can override your better judgement. Such blows can be difficult for an adult with a lot of life experience; you are a young woman who may just be getting her feet wet in the world of disappointment.

That said, it sounds like you are turning this into a valuable learning and growing experience. I saw the first thread and you clearly have a better perspective on everything. Being honest with yourself often leads to that! I think that contacting the 2nd and 3rd chapters was a considerate and smart gesture. Your plan for moving forward is good -- continue getting to know the women in all sororities and visit their open campus events. In addition, keep your GPA up, present yourself well, get involved in some activities and don't rule out the other sororities that weren't in your top three.

I hope you have a great recruitment this fall and find a great sisterhood!

[adpiucf]

* Earn excellent grades and come into the fall with a stellar GPA.

* Get involved on campus. This will boost your resume, and it is a great way to make friends. You'll also stay busy, and it will help you move forward from the disappointment after recruitment. (Hint Hint: find out what activities the sorority women are involved with outside of Greek Life to get to know them and make friends.)

* Make friends with sorority women. Don't be a creepy sorority stalker and be unnatural, but make an effort to talk to Greeks and get to know sorority women. They're in your classes, and they are involved on organizations on campus. It's a huge help to have advocates in the chapters when you re-rush because they will promote you to their sisters.

* Consider getting alumnae recommendations. I'm guessing with 5 sororities, recs aren't the norm for your school. Don't kill yourself to get them. But since they aren't the norm, they'll help you stand out even more.

* Don't embarrass yourself socially. Watch how you conduct yourself in public. Sorority members are public relations ambassadors for their "brand," and they don't want members who have a reputation for being falling down drunk, making scenes, stealing other people's boyfriends, or being indiscreet about their bedroom activities. I'm not telling you to sit in your dorm room and not have a life, just make sure you're not acting like a drama queen. Don't bring negative attention to yourself. I've seen a lot of girls wait to rush or rush after a semester, and their reputations for partying or working their way through a group of guys precedes them. Stay out of the rumor mill!

* Save your money. Sorority members must pay monthly dues, so consider how you're going to pay if you join.

* Be open to membership in ANY of the sororities. With informal, you do have a chance of getting multiple bids. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched. This could be your last chance to join, so be open to all of them. Once you've accepted a bid, work really hard to get to know people and be involved. There are plenty of girls miserable in their first choice chapters because they expect everyone else to come to them and keep "rushing" them. Make the effort! You get out what you put in.

* Enjoy your college experience. Stay busy and work hard in school. You're here for an education, so make the most of it! Good luck!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

* Consider getting alumnae recommendations. I'm guessing with 5 sororities, recs aren't the norm for your school. Don't kill yourself to get them. But since they aren't the norm, they'll help you stand out even more.

However, only do this if you know that other potential members submit them and/or the sororities actually review them. I didn't even know what a rec was until I found Greekchat a year or two after I graduated. If my chapter received a rec, we wouldn't have known what it was or what to do with it. It might actually end up working against you if you're on a campus that doesn't use/receive recs at all.

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

However, only do this if you know that other potential members submit them and/or the sororities actually review them. I didn't even know what a rec was until I found Greekchat a year or two after I graduated. If my chapter received a rec, we wouldn't have known what it was or what to do with it. It might actually end up working against you if you're on a campus that doesn't use/receive recs at all.

I think this is so interesting -- until I began reading this site, I just assumed every campus was similar to my own in terms of requiring recs (apologies for my assumption to all of you who may understandably view my region as over the top!).

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Hartofsec

I think this is so interesting -- until I began reading this site, I just assumed every campus was similar to my own in terms of requiring recs (apologies for my assumption to all of you who may understandably view my region as over the top!).

Yea, I think while you're in school you're still very much "in your own world." People tend to assume that nearly every other campus is similar to their own. I know I did. I didn't think there was this crazy world of formal recruitment, and rounds, and recs, and skit days, and huge bid days, etc.

My campus was completely different, as we didn't even have formal recruitment (while I was in school). There was a period of about 10 years where numbers for all of the chapters was so low that they did away with formal and we only used COB. However, they're now using formal again, but they still don't receive any recs. It's just not that cutthroat and competitive, so there's really no need.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Yea, I think while you're in school you're still very much "in your own world." People tend to assume that nearly every other campus is similar to their own. I know I did. I didn't think there was this crazy world of formal recruitment, and rounds, and recs, and skit days, and huge bid days, etc.

My campus was completely different, as we didn't even have formal recruitment (while I was in school). There was a period of about 10 years where numbers for all of the chapters was so low that they did away with formal and we only used COB. However, they're now using formal again, but they still don't receive any recs. It's just not that cutthroat and competitive, so there's really no need.

Even in the South at small schools with formal recruitment, recs just weren't that big of a deal. You might see them, they're nice to see, but most people don't have them so they can't hold that much weight.

[adpiucf]

In my opinion, a rec at a non-SEC or less competitive recruitment is simply a matter of making the PNM more visible. If an alumna took the time to write a letter of recommendation, you're going to remember that girl's name and maybe take some extra time to get to know her.

At the SEC schools, not having a rec is one way to weed someone out.

In either case, a rec won't guarantee a bid. A chapter can't possibly reject a woman because an alumna sent in an official sorority form endorsing her for membership. At worst, they throw it away because they don't know what to do with it. (But I certainly hope they have advisers and handbooks to properly guide them). At best, they remember the PNM's name and when she comes through the door, there is a flash of recognition: Oh, that's the girl who came with a recommendation. It's like being the girl who is president of a campus organization, or the girl who holds a pageant title, or the girl who has a reputation for being a drunk and making a fool of herself. It's just a bit more recall.

I'm not going to press someone to seek recs if they have no interest. My point is that even on a campus where they are not the norm, they have value to help promote the PNM. Other sororities perhaps may also factor them in as part of their selection analysis, and perhaps others do not.