Unsure of where I ended up

[Old_Row]

You shouldn't be depending on other people to help you get to know your sisters. You need to put yourself out there and make friends just like you would in the outside world. If you have a house, hang out there a lot even if it is to study or watch TV. If you don't have a house then figure out where your sisters like to hang out and go there. Approach some sisters you don't know after chapter and see if anyone wants to go out for coffee or froyo or whatever after. Sit next to sisters you don't know yet at every meeting and event and strike up a conversation.

You need to stop thinking about the what ifs and being concerned about tiers. That will crush your soul.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

You need to stop thinking about the what ifs and being concerned about tiers. That will crush your soul.

Old Row is right. I have seen too many girls absolutely wreck their Greek and even college experiences staring longingly at the sorority they wanted during recruitment.

[adpiucf]

You've gotten some great advice and it seems you are receptive to it. I will add that this feeling is also normal to girls who got their first choices, so you are not alone in feeling this way! I'd even bet there are girls in your new member class who have had similar feelings, not to mention other ladies in the other chapters at your school.

Everyone experiences some sense of temporary buyer's remorse, for lack of a better term, at some point in their sorority experience. I can tell you that this experience goes away when you make a strong effort to improve your attitude and take control of the situation by making an effort to get to know people and letting them know you are there. This is true in any organization, and not just in sororities.

Grab the phone list. Make an effort to reach out to a few members each day and invite them to have lunch or a coffee on campus, or to see a movie. Organize some impromptu sister dates. Go cheer on your team at intramurals together, or get ready together for a mixer. Do this and you'll start to make new friends and feel more included.

The members don't know you yet. You have the power to change this. And next year, you have the power to help shape the new member class.

I'm pretty sure the girls from the other sorority giving you the stink eye were not doing so out of general meanness. Sometimes when we feel hopeless, we tend to read into things too much. They all knew one another and you were the odd man out. Try to view that as an opportunity to introduce yourself and make some new friends.

Being in a sorority is not paying for your friends. Therefore, being part of a sisterhood doesn't equal instant BFFs. You have to actively work at developing and cultivating relationships. People will come to you if you make an effort to come to them. You're not going to bond with everyone. Some people you probably won't like very much. Others you will click with instantly. But within a large group, I'm pretty sure any reasonably nice and decent person can make friends. Sisterhood is a shared goal to support the community and one another, in addition to friendship. In college, I had some very close friends in my sorority, but I also had really close friends who were members of other sororities. That's just how friendship works. It takes effort and you have to put in what you want out of it. You can't wait for others to come to you.

You've got so much potential to turn this into a great experience. Attitude is a large part of making that experience a success!

[UofM-TKE]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

You need to stop thinking about the what ifs and being concerned about tiers. That will crush your soul.

The three weeks that you have spent in September and October of 2012 may be but a passing memory compared to the three decades, or much more, that you may have with your new sisters, if you choose to accept them.

The other sororities will be the world in which you and your sisters will live, but only your sorority will be your sisters. It is an opportunity that most people will not have and thoughts of tiers will indeed, crush you soul.

[chi-o_cat]

I wonder whatever happened to the OP. Did she stick with it in this chapter, drop and join another, or drop and not get a second chance? She never posted again outside of this thread. She would probably be graduated by now.

[carnation]

I've been looking for this. New members, I hope you'll read this if you're not feeling thrilled about your new letters.

[tcsparky]

Yes! The more you put into it, the more you get to know the people in the chapter, the better your experience will be.