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There is no way the chapter president can just tell you you aren't a member any longer. There have to be procedures in place for terminating your membership. You would have to go through disciplinary procedures or else write a letter of resignation.
Are you sure the colony adviser got your emails/voice mails?
You should have the opportunity to meet with the chapter leadership about your situation. I know every group is different, but in Tri Delta you would meet with the Standards Committee (if it is still called that) and try to explore options.
It seems really strange to me that they are being so uncooperative. If you love your sorority I would try to figure out who to contact. Do you see anyone on Greek Chat commenting regularly who is a member of your organization? Most of the regular commenters on GC are well-connected with their organization and could probably point you in a more specific direction.
Re: being a commuter student... I lived at home during college and it does take more of an effort. I found that once I started hanging out at the house more, I felt much more a part of the chapter. I came over for meals, spent the night, played euchre, etc. I made a point of hanging out after chapter meetings and volunteering for different activities. My sorority life totally changed my college experience which is why I wrote about it here on GC. You can take the link in my signature. But it will take a fair amount of effort to feel connected if you commute. There were other women in the chapter who commuted, but their experience was completely different from mine. Not that mine was the right experience and theirs was wrong. We simply had different outcomes based on the effort we put forth.
Please keep us posted!
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"Let us found a society that shall be kind alike to all and think more of a girl's inner self and character than of her personal appearance." Sarah Ida Shaw
My recruitment story: My sorority membership changed my life.
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