"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[KSUViolet06]

Honestly, the longer I've been in a sorority, the more I see that chapters on a campus are more alike than different.

It's less "follow your heart" and "you'll end up where you're meant to" than I thought when I was say, 20 and a new member.

I especially find myself not really liking the phrase "well, I just didn't fit in there."

Think about it, when we're dealing with these larger schools, the chapters have 100+ women in them.

How does one "not fit" with 100-150 people? You can't possibly look at a group of 150 people and say "they're all ___________." It's impossible.

Chances are good that you can find a nice sized group of people who share your interests in a group that large.

The flipside of this is when a chapter says that a certain PNM "wouldn't fit." Barring extreme circumstances, I can bet that she probably would. Especially in your 100+ woman chapter.

I dunno. I almost think that we could randomly assign PNMs to chapters at many schools and it would still work out fine.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I dunno. I almost think that we could randomly assign PNMs to chapters at many schools and it would still work out fine.

LOL. Probably.

I think it's sort of like guys. There are a lot of guys who would be a good boyfriend/husband for me. There's no such thing as one "Mr Right." There's a lot of "Mr. Close Enoughs."

[AOII Angel]

My best advice would be...keep a safety chapter so you don't fall through the cracks. Like KSUviolet, I think very few girls couldn't find a way to fit in at most chapters.

[KDCat]

*bump*

The spam is killin' me.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

My best advice would be...keep a safety chapter so you don't fall through the cracks. Like KSUviolet, I think very few girls couldn't find a way to fit in at most chapters.

Yep.

A PNM is going to have a crappy recruitment if she only "sees herself" in 3 out of something like 17 chapters.

And really, Murphy's Law of Recruitment states that a PNM who says she "only sees herself" at the top 3 chapters on campus (and is most fixated on them) is probably least likely to get a bid from them. It's always the least prepared PNM who is the most fixated on getting "only the best."

I see this a lot with the fixation on say, Old Row at Bama. Those who are MOST focused on those groups are least likely to get invites.

I'm going to try to put this as nicely as possible while still being honest.

It's so important for PNMs to keep it real with themselves and be realistic.

Let's say the top chapters at Big Southern University are KKG, Chi O, and Theta.

Many of the invites to those chapters are determined by whether you have a connection there. If you have no connections to those 3, aren't a legacy of some sort, only have like one rec, and have a mediocre GPA, you're not getting invited back to those. Manage your expectations accordingly.

Yes, Suzy and Becky in your group got invited back there. They probably know some Chi Os, Kappas, etc. and have known them since middle school or high school. You don't. So don't be so surprised when you don't get an invite from them.

Yes, I know you "see yourself as a Chi O/Kappa/Theta." You can "see yourself" in them until the cows come home and that won't get you an invite.

Oh and I know you're like, so awesome, have a 3.9, and don't understand why they aren't interested. That's great and all, but these groups have a lot of cuts to make and the first to go are generally the ones whom they have never met. That's you. get over them. Sooner rather than later. There are 15 other chapters in recruitment who might invite you back if you'd stop fixating on the ones who aren't.

Oh, and should you decide to drop out and rush again because "I only see myself in KKG, Chi O, or Theta" you're going to be out of luck again because those groups are probably the ones who don't take sophomores or do spring recruitment.

Keep it real. Everyone isn't meant for "the best of the best" and that's okay, but there are other groups out there besides those. Don't limit yourself.

It's like college admissions. Everyone can't go to Yale. But there are tons of other great schools out there where you can be just as happy.