Joining another sorority after 2 years

[33girl]

Originally Posted by HQWest

I can totally understand how when someone from [I]little[I] college transfers to [B]BIG[B] U - the girls at Big U want to maintain some control about who moves into the house with them.

Let's review. How about a top five reasons I have heard for transfer?
1. Money situation changes and need to move closer to home or need to save money.

I really REALLY feel bad for the folks in category number 1. Bad things happen to good people. Unfortunately, this could mean not being able to fully participate in Greek life at your new school (but in this case maybe early alum status might be a relief?)

I think that this is more apt to be Big Flagship U to Small State-Owned U, and that the dues go down along with the tuition. In that case, transfers are usually met with open arms - if they desire to be involved. More likely what happens is what AOIIAngel mentioned.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think that this is more apt to be Big Flagship U to Small State-Owned U, and that the dues go down along with the tuition. In that case, transfers are usually met with open arms - if they desire to be involved. More likely what happens is what AOIIAngel mentioned.

I am thinking of a couple of situations in particular where Big U was closer to home. (i.e. - Linda Lost needed to move back in with mom and dad to save money, so transferred back in state to save money, but still wants to be in the sorority, so you HAVE to take her, but she says you can't make her live in house? )

Or going from out of state or private school to in-state Big U. to save money.

And... transferring to try recruitment again or "because I just don't fit in here" still happens --> in state to out of state, out of state to in state, Big U to small U, small U. to Big U., left half of state to right half of state....

[33girl]

well, going from my experience, Big Flagship U is anything but cheap, even if you do live at home. I know that varies widely from state to state though.

One of the sororities (sorry I don't remember who) had a blog post going off about "babies" but I think it kind of fell flat. I mean she complained about it more as differentiating new members rather than it being juvenile. The fact is...pledges AREN'T members. If they were, someone couldn't depledge and join another group a year later. It would violate NPC rules. Until you take that initiation oath, you are part of the chapter - just as I would say non-member advisors and sweethearts are part of the chapter - but you are not an actual member.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by 33girl

well, going from my experience, Big Flagship U is anything but cheap, even if you do live at home. I know that varies widely from state to state though.

One of the sororities (sorry I don't remember who) had a blog post going off about "babies" but I think it kind of fell flat. I mean she complained about it more as differentiating new members rather than it being juvenile. The fact is...pledges AREN'T members. If they were, someone couldn't depledge and join another group a year later. It would violate NPC rules. Until you take that initiation oath, you are part of the chapter - just as I would say non-member advisors and sweethearts are part of the chapter - but you are not an actual member.

AMEN!!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

well, going from my experience, Big Flagship U is anything but cheap, even if you do live at home. I know that varies widely from state to state though.

One of the sororities (sorry I don't remember who) had a blog post going off about "babies" but I think it kind of fell flat. I mean she complained about it more as differentiating new members rather than it being juvenile. The fact is...pledges AREN'T members. If they were, someone couldn't depledge and join another group a year later. It would violate NPC rules. Until you take that initiation oath, you are part of the chapter - just as I would say non-member advisors and sweethearts are part of the chapter - but you are not an actual member.

They may not be full fledged members, but I don't think they're babies either. That's my issue with it. It's dumb and condescending. Not to mention that your NM might be 21 years old and older than the people calling her a baby.

[DZTurtle11]

Originally Posted by 33girl

well, going from my experience, Big Flagship U is anything but cheap, even if you do live at home. I know that varies widely from state to state though.

One of the sororities (sorry I don't remember who) had a blog post going off about "babies" but I think it kind of fell flat. I mean she complained about it more as differentiating new members rather than it being juvenile. The fact is...pledges AREN'T members. If they were, someone couldn't depledge and join another group a year later. It would violate NPC rules. Until you take that initiation oath, you are part of the chapter - just as I would say non-member advisors and sweethearts are part of the chapter - but you are not an actual member.

Delta Zeta had a blog post about this same thing, but it's more about demoralizing the new members. Though it might be the one you read, too.

See Blog Here

[LAblondeGPhi]

Actually, I don't mind the "babies" thing that much. In some contexts, I use/understand the term baby to refer to anything petite or particularly adorable. I mean, think about the slang that small groups of women create when they spend time around one another... there's always a word du jour or random abbreviation du jour (awk, obvies, presh).

Originally Posted by 33girl

The fact is...pledges AREN'T members. If they were, someone couldn't depledge and join another group a year later. It would violate NPC rules. Until you take that initiation oath, you are part of the chapter - just as I would say non-member advisors and sweethearts are part of the chapter - but you are not an actual member.

I do like this point a lot. We refer to them as "new members" and the "new member period", but you're right -they're not really members yet. They're more like probationary members or aspiring members.

Then we bend over backward to not do anything that treats them differently than any other member, sometimes the point of absurdity. We can educate them in a little meeting, but we can't really put any responsibility on them to learn about the organization or sisters. We ask sisters to do more during the two weeks around recruitment than we ask new members to do in their entire new member period.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by LAblondeGPhi

I do like this point a lot. We refer to them as "new members" and the "new member period", but you're right -they're not really members yet. They're more like probationary members or aspiring members.

Then we bend over backward to not do anything that treats them differently than any other member, sometimes the point of absurdity. We can educate them in a little meeting, but we can't really put any responsibility on them to learn about the organization or sisters. We ask sisters to do more during the two weeks around recruitment than we ask new members to do in their entire new member period.

A freaking Men. This is why pledges don't understand the responsibilities of being a member. They have this period where it is (can be) all sunshine and rainbows and then boom they get all these responsibilities of being a member. They are now required to go to meetings, be involved, pay dues, make grades, etc. A lot of the new member period is just celebrating they are there: Bid day, Bid day parties, Big Sis Reveal week, Temp Big sisters for a bunch of weeks, Initiation week, usually a sisterhood retreat. I was on the new member education committee almost all of the terms I was a collegiate. I saw so many new members switch from "life is full of sunshine, rainbows and sprinkles" to "Holy Hell this is a big commitment". When I was a Rho Gam, I saw that happen to at least 75% of my PNMs. The other 25% were usually legacies who had been told what to expect/seen it with siblings.

I feel like somewhere along the line the idea of sorority membership gets lost. One is tied to the chapter and must work with other people to make the chapter great. It won't be laid out on a plater for you. Even chapters that are prestigious and really have their stuff together have members that keep it that way. There is a large commitment to be a member of any sorority. From the "top" chapter to the "bottom" chapter.

[carnation]

So true. Several of us on here followed the recruitment of a girl on FB last fall. She wasn't too happy with her result and the members could probably tell. Until she was initiated, her FB was full of members' posts saying, "We love you! You're beautiful! Can I do lunch with you?" I mean, her page was loaded with this stuff every day. She was eating it up.

After initiation, it stopped abruptly. I was betting that she would transfer or quit. I won.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by carnation

So true. Several of us on here followed the recruitment of a girl on FB last fall. She wasn't too happy with her result and the members could probably tell. Until she was initiated, her FB was full of members' posts saying, "We love you! You're beautiful! Can I do lunch with you?" I mean, her page was loaded with this stuff every day. She was eating it up.

After initiation, it stopped abruptly. I was betting that she would transfer or quit. I won.

So did she quit or transfer?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

I feel like somewhere along the line the idea of sorority membership gets lost. One is tied to the chapter and must work with other people to make the chapter great. It won't be laid out on a plater for you. Even chapters that are prestigious and really have their stuff together have members that keep it that way. There is a large commitment to be a member of any sorority. From the "top" chapter to the "bottom" chapter.

The thing is (and I know I'm preaching to the choir, obv.), it's also rewarding and life-changing to be in a sorority. I think that pledges also need to see THAT, and it doesn't really happen that way. Often, during rush and the NM period, we push the social aspect and buy lots of gifts and things like that. And heck, when I was 16 years old, that was the stuff that was exciting.

But how can a chapter show pledges that a group is BOTH hard work and rewarding, in ways that go beyond "hey, look, we're doing a mixer with XYZ fraternity this weekend?"

I think it's good to move away from cheesy letter gifts and put a bigger emphasis on getting to know each other during the NM period, but I feel like it has to go beyond that. We had, nominally, pledge class officers, but I don't know if they really did anything. Could pledges have more things they have to do as a group, or is that hazing? I don't think it would be unreasonable for pledges to plan and do a community service day, for example.