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I think anything you give to a pledge is fair game. In both cases you described, I would find it odd, but there's probably nothing you could do about it. It's too bad if she liked you so much she wasn't able to continue her membership. But as Titchou said, consult the rules. If there aren't any, then you're outta luck. And since you likely allow fraternities, Moms, little sisters, philanthropy participants, etc. to wear your letters, my guess is your rule book doesn't state anything.
In the future, I would make sure to address this when a pledge resigns because anytime later will be a losing battle.
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"Traveling - It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller. ~ Ibn Battuta
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