How to motivate girls to go to social events!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by crescent&pearls

If your girls don't want to go to the "party" maybe it's because the guys need step up and do their part in being good co-hosts. You as your chapter's social chair can clearly communicate your expectations to your co-hosts when you plan your event, so think out what your expectations are and work together to plan an event that will be fun for everyone...which includes everyone who isn't drinking or may have a boyfriend o girlfriend not present.

Really, how much fun is it to show up to a party with 100 plus girls who dressed up and came to socialize, to arrive to a bare room, music blasting...but there is no food, nothing to drink, 30-40 guys who look like they just rolled in from washing their cars, and just stand there watching them talking to each other?

A great social event, to me, includes several elements, none of which involve hazing or overindulging in the refreshments. A great social event is held at a welcoming venue with some ambiance. There is probably a theme, which does not have to be overt but gives some cohesiveness to the decorations, food and entertainment and gives everyone an idea of how to dress and what they will be doing at the event.

A great social event involves the guests in doing something that gives them an opportunity to talk to each other. There's a reason people use games or "ice breakers" at parties- they work!

You do realize these are parties for 18-21 year old people who often don't have a lot of money, right? And that the OP never identified herself as social chair? (Heck, for all we know, everything is fine and she's just one lone person bitching because they don't mix every night with her favorite group.)

I doubt very much that the guys just "roll in" and the girls are dressed to the nines...if that's the guy MO at that campus, as it is at some campi, then the girls are the idiots. Put on jeans and a top and have fun. I've also heard a lot more guys complain about girls talking to only each other or keeping their heads stuck in their Blackberries than the other way around.

[excelblue]

Lane swerve here, but I have one question: are those social events / parties things that your sisters want to do?

[crescent&pearls]

Originally Posted by 33girl

You do realize these are parties for 18-21 year old people who often don't have a lot of money, right? And that the OP never identified herself as social chair?

You are right, 33 she did not identify herself as the social chair.

However, I think a lot of us have been to the kind of "mixer" I described..and we know why maybe only a third to maybe half of the girls in a sorority chapter will show up for a social with a fraternity. I know it comes as a shocker but not everyone joins a sorority just so they can throw down beers with the bros. Frat parties have their appeal but after you have stood around bored at a party where the girls outnumber the guys 3 to 1 more than once or twice, you're probably over it and will find other ways to spend your social time. We didn't have cell phones but I can remember more than a few parties my chapter went to trying to create better "relations" with a fraternity where I would have loved to have had angry birds to entertain me!

There was a time when having a mixer or exchange meant the guys provided the location and the alcohol, and the girls just showed up. Not so anymore. Risk management policies now require chapters to put a lot more advance effort into planning any event your organization sticks its name on, and since the girls now pick up a lot more of the tab, it's fair for them to set some expectations so that their money gets used to put on an event everyone can enjoy- including everyone who isn't drinking alcohol, which is too often the only thing that anyone puts effort into when it comes to planning a social event! It doesn't take a lot of money to put on a good social event, no matter what the age of the guests. It does take some creativity and good party 'host' skills.

[preciousjeni]

Lane swerving with a couple questions that have no relation to the OP's situation. Is it common to have alcohol at mixers? Also, what's the purpose of mixers between fraternities and sororities? I'm asking legitimately as I've never attended one.

[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by crescent&pearls

I know it comes as a shocker but not everyone joins a sorority just so they can throw down beers with the bros.

This.

A lot of the posts in this thread just rub me the wrong way (and I'm not talking about the bickering). I certainly understand that it's important for a chapter to have good relations with other GLOs on campus, but I'm getting a vibe from a lot of these posts that having fun with your sisters is secondary to pleasing fraternity men in order to maintain your chapter's social standing on campus. I wouldn't be interested in joining a group for which that was the priority, and I sure as hell wouldn't have been pleased if I was required to attend certain social events in order to keep up appearances.

I never missed a sorority date party or formal as an undergrad, and was at almost every sisterhood event - I figured that's what a large portion of my dues go towards, so why skip it? But I wouldn't begrudge someone who didn't go because it just wasn't her scene, or because she had work to do. And personally, I did skip a large portion of the mixers because they were just a matter of hanging out in a frat basement getting drunk. A) I don't drink, and B) I had (and have) a LTR with a guy in another fraternity and at least at my school, a big part of mixers WAS hooking up, so that wasn't something I was interested in.

So, back to the OP - I like the suggestion someone made that if a sister votes "Yes" to a social event, she is committed to being there. I would also offer a recommendation that one of our LCs made to us, which is to really reassess what sisters want to spend time and dues/money doing. We used to do a standard semester of 2 semi-formal date parties and 1 formal because that's what we thought we were supposed to do, and attendance wasn't fantastic. After digging a little deeper we tried mixing things up, with good results. We tried costume/themed date parties, which continue to be a big hit, and also tried some more fun, less formal venues. We also tried forgoing some date parties and using the funds for events for people who didn't just want to dance or drink - like laser tag, Six Flags, etc. We also experimented with some date dashes and having your sisters pick your date, both of which were miserable failures. Live and learn.

So, maybe try doing a secret ballot to see why people aren't interested in going to socials, and ask each girl to recommend 3 activities she'd like to do instead. Think outside the box - it's ok to do something low-key, off-beat and sans-alcohol, if that's what sisters want.

I come from a chapter that struggled with our campus image in the past, and having tons of formulaic social events no one goes to is not going to help anything. It's also likely to damage morale and your sisterhood if you base a sister's value on how "good" she makes the chapter look. Work on strengthening your sisterhood so that sisters actually want to go do things together, and the rest will follow. No one wants to hang out with or join a sorority in which no one seems to have any fun together.


TL; DR - Sisterhood and social activities shouldn't be dictated by what fraternities want or how you can better your image - that's not why anyone joins a sorority. Find out what your dues-paying members WOULD turn up for and do it.