A Decade Old SEC Sorority Recruitment Tale!

[redlady2]

I'm going to post the pieces at a faster pace here so that if there are any women in the process now, I haven't dragged this out into a long soap opera to much!

Back to the story...

“Well it looks like my high school friends were right. Perhaps this was a bad idea." - my journal

There are fifteen sororities, and you can get invited back to as many as ten for this round. Me? I got my paperwork. Four. Four chapters. Most of the women around me had full or nearly-full schedules. And there it was. Empty spaces where parties should be.

The initial blow of only getting four invitations hurt, but was cushioned by one bright beacon of hope - Ryan. The four chapters that had invited me back included one I loved (Ryan), one I liked (Caitlyn), and two I was not thrilled about but would certainly give another shot to (Taylor and Caleb). But oh, did I love Ryan!

It was the fact that I was still invited back to Ryan that kept my spirits up.

Nonetheless, I wrote in my journal, “I’m hurt. Confused. What did I do wrong? I feel like everything happens for a reason. I just can’t stop wondering, though, why - after twenty minutes - did eleven chapters decide that they’d rather not even give me a second look?”

But nonetheless, though I only had one party the first day, it was at Ryan, and that energized me.

About Ryan, I wrote: “When I went here, I felt home. It felt right. It felt fantastic to feel wanted. The girls I met seemed to know what I’d talked about with their other sisters the day before. Either they really love me, or this is a fantastic logistical trick they have pulled. (Or both.) At this point, I’m assuming the best! I was the last girl out of the house. And this was philanthropy round, and I absolutely love the cause they support! I loved it. I was myself. And I hope, hope, hope they felt the same way.”

But after Ryan, my day was not over. Most cruel of it all was the way Panhellenic handled the “break” parties. Now, in hindsight, I completely understand why the system was arranged this way, because I suppose it would be impractical to let hundreds of women run off during their free parties, but for “break” parties, women had spend the duration of that party in a large room in a campus building near the row. Sure, there was music playing and rush counselors played games with the PNMs, but there was always an unfortunate sense that it was only where you went if you weren’t good enough for a full schedule. (Remember, this is before the new recruitment figures system that made it rare for any woman to have a full schedule.) At the time it felt awful to see women heading to their next party and instead, to be headed off the row to wait in a classroom, biding your time, spending thirty, forty, sixty, ninety minutes waiting until your “break” parties ended. I luckily had a merciful recruitment guide who dismissed me since I had three “breaks” in a row and no more parties for the day.

As I was walking out of the room, I looked around and started to recognize faces - a lot of faces. There were easily two hundred women in the room. Women I’d known through high school programs in the state, women that I knew to be fiercely intelligent, beautiful inside and out, accomplished, forces to be reckoned with, women to be admired. And here they were, in the “break” party, without a full schedule. What houses wouldn’t want these women? And after one round! But my shock and frustration was quickly overcome with thanks that I was not alone, and the realization that having a short schedule was NOT a mark against me as a woman, me as a person. Where I was or was not invited back did NOT define me or my value.

I went home for the night to my dorm to think about how much I liked Ryan, and to get a good night’s sleep before the three parties the next day...

[redlady2]

Remember what I said about a faster pace? Now I'm up typing this and can't go to sleep. So much for holding out the suspense!

***


Day Two of Round Two began and my outlook on things was getting a lot better. There was my serious adoration of chapter Ryan, plus my schedule for the day felt much more full with three parties to attend. I wrote: “The parties at Caitlyn, Caleb, and Taylor all went extremely well! I’m back to being happy. Everywhere felt...comfortable. I was able to stop dwelling on the places that cut me, and focused on how happy I was that some sisterhoods had invited me back.”

At Caleb, the girl who rushed me had done marching band and so we had a few good band dork inside jokes to share. You could tell the sisters love each other.

Then, at Caitlyn, I got some great recommendations about things to check out on campus and around town. I don’t know how or why, but we wound up discussing those tofu chicken nuggets that actually taste delicious and have become my dorm food staple. This, ultimately, was a very good thing, because I find totally random conversation to usually be the best!

Finally, there was Taylor, where my opinion totally turned around. I met that same social chair who had felt boring round one, and it was a thousand times better this time! Then, I was rushed by a recruitment committee member and she told me a hilarious, quirky story that is exactly the sort of story that would happen to me.

I was finally feeling good about all four chapters that had invited me back, which had really removed a lot of that initial sting that I felt upon being released eleven. Because Round Three involved a maximum of six parties, I was not able to rank any chapters as backups, but was happy and hopeful to return to any of the four houses where I’d gone for Round Two.

The next morning, I opened my party list...






...and all four chapters had invited me back! It was onward to Ryan, Taylor, Caitlyn and Caleb. The women I’d met at all four chapters really reflected a lot of great qualities and I found myself admiring them a great deal. While my Round Two invitations had hurt me badly, my Round Three invitations made me feel proud to have been invited back for a third round at four great houses.

At Round Three, parties are significantly longer and feature a sisterhood presentation video. I’m a sucker for a good soundtrack, so there was plenty of opportunity for my heartstrings to be tugged on...

First was Taylor. While my Round Two experience was so great, I was still apprehensive since I’d gotten such an unfortunate first impression of the house in Round One. For whatever reason, when I walked into the house, I just got a good feeling, like there was a reason I’d been made to give Taylor another shot. I was paired with a new sister, one on the executive board, and she showed me photo albums of her experiences and introduced me to her Little Sister. When I watched the video, I definitely got misty-eyed and found myself completely warmed up to this sisterhood. As I walked out the front door, I really hoped that it wouldn’t be my last time to cross through that doorway.

I visited both Caitlyn and Caleb next, though my journal actually includes surprisingly little about them except to say “I would be happy there, but what I was really waiting for was Ryan.”

And then there I was, at Ryan, my beloved first choice since round one, the chapter that had given me the hope to hang in there when those Round Two cuts felt so painful. I wrote: “I was one of the first names called, and the women who rushed me mentioned specific things that I had talked about with my rusher from Round Two. Talk about a smooth operation! I was completely flattered. And the video, oh the video! It had footage from the previous year’s Bid Day. I could see the women running to the house, just like I hopefully will be in two days. And the song? That “Perfect Day” song from Legally Blonde. It’s practically cruel! The sisters sang, and I just felt so convinced that I wanted to spend four years in this sisterhood. And I really did feel like they wanted me too.”

At the end of Round Three, I was feeling very optimistic. I’d look over at the tent by Sandy and start to slip back into feeling down, but would quickly pull it together. For preferentials, PNMs could attend up to three parties, so I elected to attend Ryan, Taylor, and Caitlyn if they’d have me, with Caleb as my backup.

With that, it was onward to preference night...

[redlady2]

The morning of preference, I was thrilled to have a full schedule, including my three preferred choices: Ryan, Taylor, and Caitlyn!

In my journal that night, I did not write much, as I was exhausted. (PNMs stay late at the three parties, and then must wait with their rush groups until ALL PNMs have filled out their selections. With incredible indecision, this means a late night.)

But what I remember is that each house made me feel wanted, made me feel honored, and yet each had a unique way of making you feel home.

Ryan was up first. The house was very dark inside, illuminated mostly by candles. PNMs spent most of the party talking with just one sister, and the girl rushing me had a very serious story about how the chapter had come together in the face of a tragedy. The ceremony was solemn, beautiful, and moving. We were reminded that we were loved just the way we were.

Taylor was up next. The house as much brighter, yet still emotional. Pairs of PNMs were taken by pairs of sisters, and the pairs of sisters jointly told a story of their sisterhood and their journey together. This let me get a sense of what other PNM they were interested in, and let me see the sisters interact in a way that is rarely able to be seen in the structured recruitment format.

Finally, Caitlyn, where they made me feel so incredibly loved and wanted, and where the feeling of the party was actually very upbeat and comforting.

I left feeling happy taking a bid from any house. That night, I spent a lot of mental energy going back and forth in choosing my ranks, but ultimately decided to rank:

1)Ryan
2)Taylor
3)Caitlyn

Going to sleep, I was hopeful. By morning, that hope had turned to fear. Memory of the sting of the Round One cuts came back, and I feared rejection all over again. Even if I got my second choice, didn’t that mean that my first choice didn’t want me? That if quota was, say, fifty women, that this meant there were fifty women they wanted more than me? Or even more, if not every women attending prefs at Ryan put them first?

I was not going to be sad about getting a bid at Taylor or Caitlyn... I truly did also want to be in those sisterhoods. It would be an honor and the start of a great journey. But if I didn’t get Ryan...could I handle heartbreak again?

I walked to the Bid Day ceremony filled with a mix of emotions. I could visualize opening the bid card. I knew everything happened for a reason. But I did not have the slightest clue what that bid card would hold.

[jenidallas]

Great story! Waiting anxiously for the conclusion....