FYI Disappointed Moms

[Lightning Bug!]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Just out of curiosity, can you expand on this? I never had any non-Jewish friends who went to summer camp. Is it a big thing in some states?

Yes. If you look at girls camps in the Southeast (especially North Carolina) and Texas, the counselor bios often list their sorority. It isn't as if the counselors are running around camp with their letters on, but this becomes a great way to meet people outside your hometown/high school whom you will run into again (or even become a sister of) at college.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by Lightning Bug!

Yes. If you look at girls camps in the Southeast (especially North Carolina) and Texas, the counselor bios often list their sorority. It isn't as if the counselors are running around camp with their letters on, but this becomes a great way to meet people outside your hometown/high school whom you will run into again (or even become a sister of) at college.

In addition to this, if you attend camp for most of your childhood up through high school, then you will have had sufficient time to know the girls 1-2 years older than you that also attend that same camp every year. By the time you get to college, those girls may be actives on your campus.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by Lightning Bug!

Yes. If you look at girls camps in the Southeast (especially North Carolina) and Texas, the counselor bios often list their sorority. It isn't as if the counselors are running around camp with their letters on, but this becomes a great way to meet people outside your hometown/high school whom you will run into again (or even become a sister of) at college.

I didn't know there were Jewish camps until my boss started telling stories of how he was a counselor at one. I always went to a non-denominational, but didn't know it then. I just know there were kids of all religions there.

I agree with what the OP says about summer camps. WHile the one I went to was not at all elite and was a mixture of all socio-economic classes (they had "camperships" for children who couldn't afford it), we saw the same kids year after year. Most were from a 25 mile radius but many were from further out. Fast-forward to college....guess who I ran into during recruitment? Many of the campers I knew from 10 years prior.

I didn't realize I was networking at 8 years old.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

I didn't realize I was networking at 8 years old.

Exactly. Some parents are very savvy to this and direct their children toward activities that are designed for meeting the "right" kinds of friends; for other children it happens more serendipitously, but networking is exactly what's going on.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

Exactly. Some parents are very savvy to this and direct their children toward activities that are designed for meeting the "right" kinds of friends . . . .

Which brings its own problems.

Parents can and should provide, to their best of their abilities, opportunities for their kids to make a wide circle of friends not because it will help them meet the "right" kinds of people, but simply because it leads to a richer life.

[Lightning Bug!]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Which brings its own problems.

Parents can and should provide, to their best of their abilities, opportunities for their kids to make a wide circle of friends not because it will help them meet the "right" kinds of people, but simply because it leads to a richer life.

Super Like!!!

The most insecure people I know are the ones whose parents pushed them to meet the "right" kind of people.

But as you say, networking can lead to a richer life. Support systems are invaluable. And in this age of great mobility post-graduation, networking with a "richer life" as the end goal is such a huge bonus. Very nicely put.

[carnation]

What they said!

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Which brings its own problems.

Parents can and should provide, to their best of their abilities, opportunities for their kids to make a wide circle of friends not because it will help them meet the "right" kinds of people, but simply because it leads to a richer life.

Thank you, MC! You know exactly what my parents were thinking.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Which brings its own problems.

Parents can and should provide, to their best of their abilities, opportunities for their kids to make a wide circle of friends not because it will help them meet the "right" kinds of people, but simply because it leads to a richer life.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

Exactly. Some parents are very savvy to this and direct their children toward activities that are designed for meeting the "right" kinds of friends; for other children it happens more serendipitously, but networking is exactly what's going on.

Absolutely not!

This wasn't at all about meeting the "right" kinds of friends. It was about going to summer camp and meeting "new" friends. My parents had absolutely no agenda; I attended a camp run by a community center geared at "inclusion". It was probably the exact opposite of what you are thinking.

Needless to say, I still run into kids that attended summer camp and they are everything from doctors to ministers to factory workers.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Absolutely not!

This wasn't at all about meeting the "right" kinds of friends. It was about going to summer camp and meeting "new" friends. My parents had absolutely no agenda; I attended a camp run by a community center geared at "inclusion". It was probably the exact opposite of what you are thinking.

Needless to say, I still run into kids that attended summer camp and they are everything from doctors to ministers to factory workers.

I didn't mean that I think this is the right thing to do. I'm just saying that there are those types of parents in the world. We'd be foolish to think otherwise. All that being said, children whose parents allowed them to partake in activities over the years that in some way allowed them to make friends whether it be camp, sports, dance, etc., are better equipped to dealing with recruitment. (Which I think is the point of what's being said.)

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Lightning Bug!

But as you say, networking can lead to a richer life.

I'm glad you agree with the rest of what I said, but I didn't say this and I wouldn't say this. I except in a purely business sense, I absolutely detest the term "networking." (Actually, I detest it in a business sense as well, but I can agree that the concept has some place there.)

Making friends, in my book, is not the same as networking. My connotation of networking is something that's all about "me" and what "I" can get out of it. Networking is not about making genuine friends, it's about making contacts that I can use to help me get where I want to be and do what I want to do.

I try not to use the word, and I try not to engage in the practice.

[Lightning Bug!]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I'm glad you agree with the rest of what I said, but I didn't say this and I wouldn't say this. I except in a purely business sense, I absolutely detest the term "networking." (Actually, I detest it in a business sense as well, but I can agree that the concept has some place there.)

Making friends, in my book, is not the same as networking. My connotation of networking is something that's all about "me" and what "I" can get out of it. Networking is not about making genuine friends, it's about making contacts that I can use to help me get where I want to be and do what I want to do.

I try not to use the word, and I try not to engage in the practice.

Apologies - I was using it in the sociological/anthropological sense. I have an academic background in network theory, and there it does not carry the negative connotation that it does in "real life" conversation. It merely describes from an analytical viewpoint how people make connections, including deep friendships. Again, deep apologies for misrepresenting (unintentionally) what you said. We meant the same things but were using different language.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I'm glad you agree with the rest of what I said, but I didn't say this and I wouldn't say this. I except in a purely business sense, I absolutely detest the term "networking." (Actually, I detest it in a business sense as well, but I can agree that the concept has some place there.)

Making friends, in my book, is not the same as networking. My connotation of networking is something that's all about "me" and what "I" can get out of it. Networking is not about making genuine friends, it's about making contacts that I can use to help me get where I want to be and do what I want to do.

I try not to use the word, and I try not to engage in the practice.

It is what it is regardless of how people feel about the terminology and how people rationalize it. I chose my friends because I like something about them which consists of how my life benefits from being their friend. I don't have any friends who have nothing positive to offer to my life and whose accomplishments/overall life pattern are not in line with mine. That's the same logic as why I don't have friends who can't pass a criminal background check or whose association with me would reflect poorly on my own background check. That's all the same process of social capital/social ties/networking/social networking/and whatever individuals and fields of expertise choose to call it.

It is also not always conscious. Your ties to people are being built (or broken) even when you are not thinking along those lines. And those who are in privileged positions have an even greater privilege of gaining strong networks even when they claim to be unconcerned with such.