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Round 1: Welcome to Recruitment
We first joined our hero in Round 1, a casual round-robin welcome round with no cuts after it. However, our hero was already doing battle with a bamboozling quagmire. See, her schedule for the day was supposed to look like this:
Wonder Woman
Flash
Aquaman
Superman
Green Lantern
Batman
In actuality, it looked like this:
BATTLE THE LEGION OF DOOM!
BATTLE THE LEGION OF DOOM!
Aquaman
Superman
Green Lantern
Batman
By “BATTLE THE LEGION OF DOOM!” saxywalrus naturally meant “attend a poorly scheduled concert band rehearsal.” Clearly, the director, Lex Luthor,was using this mandatory rehearsal to enslave saxywalrus, prevent her from becoming a superhero, and thus make her unable to save the rest of the Earth, which would lead to Luthor’s domination of the universe. Or maybe just a great performance at an upcoming music convention. One of the two.
The following conversation with saxywalrus’s Recruitment Guide (Rho Gamma) occurred the night before (although perhaps not with the same exact wording):
Saxywalrus: Sooooo I have to miss the first third of recruitment tomorrow for a mandatory band rehearsal. Should I just like totally discount those two sororities RIGHT NOW? Should I lose all hope? Should I start panicking? Because I’m panicking. In case you didn’t notice. Suffering Sappho, damn the Legion of Doom!
RG: Fear not, dear saxywalrus! There are plenty of people who miss even a full day of recruitment and still get placed. You’ll be fine!
Saxywalrus: Really? Well in that case I’ll see you at 11:00.
RG: Yes really. I’ll see you then.
Saxywalrus: 11:00 it is! Fare thee well!
When saxywalrus arrived the next day precisely at 11, the rest of her group began filing out and writing in their journals. It was absolutely silent, and saxywalrus dreaded her fate. She stood bravely silent as the Justice League’s chants filled the hall, and upon a barrage of knocking from the RGs the door flung open to reveal---
Holy girliness, Batman! There was a whole room of women in matching T-shirts, sweeping in to meet the PNMs with a cheery “Hi,________! I’m _______!” There was water with fruit in it, a napkin that shared the sorority’s colors, and so much chattering! Although the instructions had said jeans and a nice top, there were some PNMs who were wearing sundresses and four inch heels! (Which actually was quite puzzling, considering the fact that it was January…) Could saxywalrus, who was more of an action figure girl than a Barbie girl, battle the girly?
There was only one way to find out.
Wonder Woman: Did not visit.
Flash: Did not visit.
Aquaman: Saxywalrus hadn’t really known what to expect from reruitment and was a little thrown off for this visit. The girls seemed really nice and interested in what saxywalrus had to say.
Superman: This visit was much better than Aquaman. The girls were fun and bubbly, and although saxywalrus was trying her best to put reputations aside for recruitment, this chapter is a top-rated one on campus.
Green Lantern: Um, not so much. The girls in this room were definitely a little bit too nice. It was kind of disconcerting. But they did seem like great girls and like they had a lot of fun with each other.
Batman: These girls were also nice (naïve and mild-mannered saxywalrus failed to realize at this point that ALL of them would seem nice if they were any good at recruiting) and on top of that seemed really smart and like they really had it together. These were classy ladies.
Because she knew she skipped two sororities, saxywalrus minimized her judgments and maximized her observations. The day was over far too soon and saxywalrus retreated to her hideout to reflect on a great first day and prepare for the second one.
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Hybrid Mode
