Pregnant Sorority Member

[agzg]

When I was a collegian, a member of my chapter got pregnant and was forced into alumna status by the president of my chapter with complete disregard for chapter bylaws and international rules. The president also seemed to forget the fact that while none of them were pregnant as actives or new members, there were a number of moms who were active in our chapter during that particular time period.

While the member in question probably would have changed status herself since she was busting her butt trying to graduate early plus preparing for the baby, forcing her into it ensured that she cut off friendships with most of the active members and definitely colored her entire sorority experience in a negative way. This was particularly sad for me because she was a leading reason why I joined.

So, in addition to having a baby a little sooner than planned (which should have been a joyous experience for her, as she always wanted to have kids and did want to have them soon after graduation), and dealing with the stress of that plus the stress of finishing up school, the chapter (as an entity) effectively turned their backs on her (minus a few members who stuck by her).

The point of this anecdote is tread lightly, consult chapter advisors and international rules, and don't force her into anything if you don't have to.

Sometimes showing true sisterhood and support is more important than looking bad to a bunch of PNMs during recruitment.

[MikeEllis]

Originally Posted by agzg

Sometimes showing true sisterhood [or brotherhood] and support is more important than looking bad to a bunch of PNMs during recruitment.

I wish every house had this sentence hanging on the wall.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by MikeEllis

I wish every house had this sentence hanging on the wall.

Yes, but that won't get members paying dues coming bursting through the doors, and that is what the organizations care about at the end of the day. You can be friends with whomever you want, but recruitment is recruitment, and the focus is on the chapter's image.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Yes, but that won't get members paying dues coming bursting through the doors, and that is what the organizations care about at the end of the day. You can be friends with whomever you want, but recruitment is recruitment, and the focus is on the chapter's image.

It also doesn't do much for the image of a sorority on campus who boots members that get pregnant and/or need support in other ways, particularly if it's a small campus where everybody knows your name.

In my experience, that did more damage than letting her be.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by agzg

Sometimes showing true sisterhood and support is more important than looking bad to a bunch of PNMs during recruitment.

Originally Posted by MikeEllis

I wish every house had this sentence hanging on the wall.

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Yes, but that won't get members paying dues coming bursting through the doors, and that is what the organizations care about at the end of the day. You can be friends with whomever you want, but recruitment is recruitment, and the focus is on the chapter's image.

Whoa, all the guy said was that this is a good philosophy to live by. Rather than worrying about how every PNM views you, you should take into consideration your sisters' feelings first.

I mean, geez, I feel like if I wrote "Live. Laugh. Love." in my signature, you'd say, "No, because you might die tomorrow.. And not everything is funny.. And not every guy is going to like your ass."

Or maybe every chapter should hang a banner on the wall that reads, "Our goal is to look good and get sisters/brothers who will pay their dues!"

ETA: and agzg DID start her comment with, "Sometimes..."

[katydidKD]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Yes, but that won't get members paying dues coming bursting through the doors, and that is what the organizations care about at the end of the day. You can be friends with whomever you want, but recruitment is recruitment, and the focus is on the chapter's image.

I haven't ever been pregnant, but judging by what I hear, recruitment in my experience is the last thing I'd want to be doing if I have morning sickness/other pregnancy related ailments. This person might want to skip recruitment (which has nothing to do with the stigma of a pregnant active)

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by katydidKD

I haven't ever been pregnant, but judging by what I hear, recruitment in my experience is the last thing I'd want to be doing if I have morning sickness/other pregnancy related ailments. This person might want to skip recruitment (which has nothing to do with the stigma of a pregnant active)

Conveniently solving 'both' problems? That reeks of 'hide the fatties in the kitchen.'

[katydidKD]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Conveniently solving 'both' problems? That reeks of 'hide the fatties in the kitchen.'

Didn't intend it that way. Wasn't a "solution" but more of a thought. Could be wrong. Recruitment wears on me physically as a not pregnant person, just thought of a different perspective.

[BluPhire]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Yes, but that won't get members paying dues coming bursting through the doors, and that is what the organizations care about at the end of the day. You can be friends with whomever you want, but recruitment is recruitment, and the focus is on the chapter's image.

This quote right here has me as an outsider looking in feeling like man are ya'll really a sisterhood or a clique?

Just comments from the outside.

[flirt5721]

When I was active we had one of our sisters pregnant and she was active at the time too. In fact she was our Panhellenic delegate. She did go alum at the end of the semester but that was because she was going to be a 5th year senior.

Although, I heard, there were some chapters that would make their members go alum.