Marriage Preparation

[AnchorAlum]

So, it's what we called Cana Classes.

I married a non-Catholic and refused to go through the class. I told Father O'Reilly that I sat through 12 years of Catholic school and that was more than enough, and if he made us go through the class, I'd be married in my fiance's Congregational Church if he didn't waive the requirement.

Poor Fr. O. He never recovered. But he did marry us.

[honeychile]

FWIW, I've never known a couple who went through the pre-Cana class who ended up divorced.

We have 6 meetings with the pastor, the last one about the wedding itself, and I have 2 books to read and discuss with the pastor. This is my fiance's church/pastor, so it's only right that I learn about his church. Fiance has only one book to read, and I really hope it's about budgets and how crazy women become if they feel neglected or poor!

We have PREPARE to take - is that like FOCUS? I answer questions honestly, then answer them how I think Fiance will answer them. He does the same, and they're put on a graph to show you where you have any problem areas.

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by honeychile

FWIW, I've never known a couple who went through the pre-Cana class who ended up divorced.

For the ones you don't know, I do! (Pre-cana, that's what our classes with my priest were called, I forgot )

[DreamfulSpirit]

Our officiant is from a non-denominational church, but his parents attend his church sometimes but have known him for a while. We are supposed to meet with him 4 times before the wedding. Our first meeting will be next Saturday.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by honeychile

We have PREPARE to take - is that like FOCUS? I answer questions honestly, then answer them how I think Fiance will answer them. He does the same, and they're put on a graph to show you where you have any problem areas.

It's basically a scantron with questions like "I have discussed how finances will be managed with my fiance" (that wasn't an exact question, but stuff like that). Then you answer agree, disagree or uncertain. We each fill it out privately, the results get sent in, and then we get them back in a few weeks and get to discuss our results (the stuff we agreed on, the stuff we didn't, etc.)

Here's the link for FOCCUS if anyone is interested.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by lovespink88

It's basically a scantron with questions like "I have discussed how finances will be managed with my fiance" (that wasn't an exact question, but stuff like that). Then you answer agree, disagree or uncertain. We each fill it out privately, the results get sent in, and then we get them back in a few weeks and get to discuss our results (the stuff we agreed on, the stuff we didn't, etc.)

Here's the link for FOCCUS if anyone is interested.

I couldn't get into the FOCCUS site without a password, but it sounds very similar to PREPARE. I took it with a man who wanted to marry me, but I knew in my heart didn't know me, so I know a few of the questions. Many are as simple as Do you want children? How many children do you want? How many nights a month do you like to eat out? Are you a morning person? Do you want pets?

It's taken seperately, then you answer it as you think your fiance/e would answer. It's graphed to see your problem areas. There are NO wrong answers, just an idea of what you need to work on as a couple. If you've never really done it before, thinking as a couple is much different than thinking as a single person.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by honeychile

FWIW, I've never known a couple who went through the pre-Cana class who ended up divorced.

We have 6 meetings with the pastor, the last one about the wedding itself, and I have 2 books to read and discuss with the pastor. This is my fiance's church/pastor, so it's only right that I learn about his church. Fiance has only one book to read, and I really hope it's about budgets and how crazy women become if they feel neglected or poor!

We have PREPARE to take - is that like FOCUS? I answer questions honestly, then answer them how I think Fiance will answer them. He does the same, and they're put on a graph to show you where you have any problem areas.

This sounds about like what we did, although it was all focused on the marriage, not on anything church-specific. (We were both Presbyterian, although I don't think that would have mattered. If one of us had been coming from another tradition and planning to become Presbyterian, that would have been dealt with in other classes.)

We took a few assessments like the one you describe, and we also had to do Myers-Brigg. (This was before everyone was doing Myers-Brigg.) We found it very helpful. Years later, we can still see the value in it.

We

[honeychile]

MC, I'm only doing the church specific because I'm changing my brand of Baptist. Who knew that the Swedes had their own brand? It's much more How well do you know each other and what you're getting into than preachy. I guess I'll have to make a casserole to prove my worthiness.

My first wedding was Presbyterian, with the Meyers-Briggs etc.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by honeychile

MC, I'm only doing the church specific because I'm changing my brand of Baptist. Who knew that the Swedes had their own brand?

Not me. I though they were all Lutheran.

My first wedding was Presbyterian, with the Meyers-Briggs etc.