Involved sorority collegiate turns invisible alumna

[KSUViolet06]

There's also a level of insularity and chapter-centricity (is that even a word? lol) with some chapters.

Like, the women from a certain chapter tend to think "Chapter First, Sorority Second" so it doesn't occur to them to get involved post-graduation because XYZ = XY chapter, and why would they want to branch out?

[33girl]

Welllll....that's the way we rush, isn't it?

I don't think any NPC can gripe about that until rush stops =ing "the women in the sororities pick the girls they like the most and the rushees pick the sorority they feel the most comfortable with."

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Welllll....that's the way we rush, isn't it?

I don't think any NPC can gripe about that until rush stops =ing "the women in the sororities pick the girls they like the most and the rushees pick the sorority they feel the most comfortable with."

Ding ding.

I don't have the solution to that issue, but it's definitely a big reason why alumnae don't get involved.

Another thing = the focus on freshman PNMs that leads to 4 year burnout, but that is an entirely new thread and ball of wax.

I was significantly more ready to jump into alumnae activity just because I'd had fewer collegiate years under my belt and wasn't in the least bit burned out (you can't really get burned out in 2.5 years lol.)

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

(you can't really get burned out in 2.5 years lol.)

Hm, not true.

Coming from a chapter as small as mine was, it's definitely possible. Each sister having to hold 4-5 positions can take its toll over the course of just one semester... especially when one or two members aren't pulling their weight and/or aren't willing to take on a little extra responsibility. I love my chapter, and I wanted to do everything I could to help us succeed, but I won't lie and say I didn't have those, "Why the hell won't graduation day hurry up and get here already?!" moments.

However, I also wouldn't trade my experience for anything in the world.

I definitely needed a break after graduation. I moved back home, but 8 months later moved closer to my campus again and served as Recruitment Advisor. It was nice to be able to help the chapter in the one area that we could never quite figure out (at least while I was active). Moving to NJ a couple years later ended that.

Then my new job required that I travel.. a lot.. for about 6 months. Now that I have some more free time, I would love to get back into an advisor position, however, the chapters around me are at least a half hour away - not completely unreasonable, but not a quick drive down the street, either. And the closest alumnae chapter is in NYC, which at the minimum is a 45 minute train ride just to get to Penn Station.

The only reason I'm not still involved is basically because of geography.

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Sometimes I feel like Alumnae groups need to remember they had to work to get members as collegiate. While they are already half way there, heck we all are members, but it is still about wanting to join and belong. When I moved to across the country, the first thing I did was join the alumnae chapter. I went to the first meeting and aside from being recognized when they asked new members to stand, I was invisible. I walked in, no one welcomed me. I left, no one said good bye. I felt like the odd girl out. It completely turned me off to the chapter.

I gave it another go halfway through and forged my own welcoming committee (I started a happy hour club every 3rd Friday of the month) and found a few other newbies who felt the same. Then I promptly moved abroad...and thats the end of that.

[PiPhiERDoc]

I was extremely "Polly Pi Phi" as an undergrad, multiple offices, ect.
I started working on our chapter's alumnae advisory committee in my 3rd year of medical school and other than a 2 year hiatus during residency have continued to service as a chapter adviser in various positions.
I really love continuing to be involved with the chapter and watching it continue to thrive.

The downside to this is that I have really never been very involved in alumnae clubs. I just don't have time to do both.

I used to feel bad about this, but now I think that we all have ways that we can contribute to the organization that means so much. My way is continuing to help the undergraduate chapter. Being a "slightly older sister" to 115 chapter members and watching them grow and change through their 4 years me feel very connected still to Pi Beta Phi, which is great. I have made amazing friends along the way with the women I have met in the chapter and my fellow alumnae serving as advisers.

[thetygerlily]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

i tried to make a connection with our local alumnae chapter, but they were mostly from the same college chapter and it was hard to break in. the first time, i gave up.

Originally Posted by DolphinChicaDDD

Sometimes I feel like Alumnae groups need to remember they had to work to get members as collegiate. While they are already half way there, heck we all are members, but it is still about wanting to join and belong. When I moved to across the country, the first thing I did was join the alumnae chapter. I went to the first meeting and aside from being recognized when they asked new members to stand, I was invisible. I walked in, no one welcomed me. I left, no one said good bye. I felt like the odd girl out. It completely turned me off to the chapter.

This is so important. Whether it's because they have been part of the group for years or all come from the same chapter, it's really hard to remember to be extra-welcoming to newcomers. I have never felt not-welcomed- and really the members of my local association have been very nice and interested in talking to me at events. However, the programming does not work for me. The business meetings are during the workday, many of the events are during the workday, etc. I started an evening group a few years ago but it's only had limited success. Most people from the closest school here join a different association, and there's a sort of stigma- one group is young, one is not. I just don't have the energy or desire to fight traffic to go further away from me to join an association where the majority of the members are from one specific chapter.

So welcoming should really encompass two things- personally welcoming, and programming/systematically welcoming.

Originally Posted by AGDAlum

I looked forward to helping with that chapter. Not so! They had two advisers (alumnae of that chapter) who didn't want anyone else involved.

Got that too. I'm looking at long-distance advising because of that.

[33girl]

This is one reason I've always said that NPC alum chapters should be much harder to charter. We need a very small amount of members to do so, and theoretically, they could all be from the same pledge class, let alone the same chapter. No matter how friendly and welcoming a person you are to women from other chapters, it's human nature to have inside jokes and such in that situation. If you restrain yourselves from it, the chapter's going to be very "clinical" and probably not much fun for anyone.