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Sarah,
You've already taken some big steps...admitting that you have a problem, seeking help for it and trying to conquer it. You are not a horrible person, it just sounds like some of the behaviors that you have done have hurt people, and you feel remorse for it. Believe me, a truly horrible person would be remorseless, so you are NOT a horrible person.
And I echo everything that everyone has written, there are some pretty wise and terrific people on this board, Cream in her infinite wisdom wrote:
I think that apologizing to the people you have hurt individually and to your chapter as a whole is another important move. College is a time of learning and growth and part of that is making mistakes. If you show them that you are trying to repair the damage that you have done, your sorority sisters should stand by you.
Seek help and don't beat yourself up...you DO DESERVE commendation for seeking help, and remember the objects of Delta Gamma:
-the objects of this Fraternity shall be to foster high ideals of friendship among college women, to promote their educational and cultural interests, to create a true sense of social responsibility, and to develop in them the best qualities of character
Hang in there...you can DO IT!
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