A Mad Men re-rushing story

[SC2013]

Originally Posted by southbymidwest

OK, I quit. I'm flouncing outa here. Tired of reading recruitment stories that drag on and never have an ending. But that's just me. Please finish it SOON for the others who have enjoyed and care about your recruitment.

Forgive me for holding off on the last post for so long, it's just I know this would be my longest post...

My rush group is, of course, unbearably anxious. Rachel Menken texts the hard-rushed legacy girl in my group, SO EXCITED that she's a Rachel Menken now (I guess they didn't know we were still waiting for the RC's?). So that's all well and good for her.

Finally, the RCs come out. We're dyyying!

One by one, we get our bid cards. Girls in front of me are screaming, jumping up and down!

Girls start running to the groups of sorority girls waiting with balloons and signs, welcoming them home.

It's almost my turn. The girl in front of me asks me about my houses and I tell her how nervous I am. She says I'll be fine, gets her bid card and starts screaming, jumping up and down.

It's my turn. There's a look in my two RC's eyes. Is that good?
Angelic RC hands me my bid card.

She squeezes me tight. "Congrats!"

I can't breathe, what did I get?

Peggy Olson.

Well.

All the other Midge Daniels fans, force smiles and walks to join the Joans anxiously awaiting them.

My best friend gets Jane Sterling. My friend in my rush group who helped me get excited for Bobbie Barret gets Jane Sterling. Her roommate, of course, gets Trudy Campbell. My roommate gets Dr. Faye Miller. Maybe it's the social circles I run in, but I have yet to meet anybody who didn't get their first choice, besides the girls who wanted Midge and got Joan.

My apartment finds each other in the midst of the screaming sea of girls. best friend's roommate hugs me. "I'm sorry, I know what it's like, that happened to me last year," she said, who had gone to pref with Trudy Campbell last year and finally was in her house.

They all went off to their house groups. I was left with a choice.

I made the choice that probably isn't popular on Greek Chat, I chose to not be Greek rather than give the house who gave me a bid a chance. Today I'm still a little unsure if I made the right decision, but I didn't go to bid night. I don't necessarily regret not going to Peggy Olson; looking at the pledge class, I don't recognize anyone, while I know tons of girls particularly in Joan Holloway and Jane Sterling--which doesn't necessarily mean much, but still means something.

But they gave me a bid! you say. They wanted me.

Maybe they did....but to be honest, that bid night...I didn't think so. I still don't think they really wanted me, because I was guaranteed a bid.

Apparently Peggy Olson had a much stronger rush this year than they had in previous years. And now I wish them the best. I have and do root for them to do well, especially in light of the ranking-crazy girls who, sometimes like in the case of my best friend (no harm meant), do get their way. But after Pref I didn't feel a thing. I felt like they had given me a bid because computers said that they should.

I wish I hadn't put them as my #2, but Panhellenic was so adamant on listing both houses that invited you to Pref. And I had believed that I would have been given a better chance at getting my first house, like so many other girls did, if I had been "run through the computer more times to get a bid."

I'm not saying I was #1 on Joan's first bid list or anything, but Joan had taken me to Pref. And I had felt a connection, I had met a girl I would have wanted to be my big. They can still cut girls on Pref by putting them on the very very last end of their lists, I understand that.

Funny thing is, apparently Bobbie Barret had to give snap bids. Again, there are many what ifs, but if I hadn't listen a second house on my preference list, I could have been eligible for that. Or for COB in the spring, in which yes, I would have been open to visiting Peggy to see if I could find a connection. But after Pref I had not felt a connection and would have not been comfortable going to bid night.

So there you have it. I am not in a Panhellenic sorority, despite being so close. It's tough because I found a house I was really in love with, they invited me to Pref, and then I got a bid from a house I had listed last each round. Maybe they did drop me after, I don't know why, but maybe they did. And I can't dwell on it.

Do I still want to be in a sorority? Kind of. I understand and love the values that they stand for. But I can't rush for a whole year, and at my school juniors are hardly ever taken during formal recruitment unless they're transfers.

But there are lots of things I learned just from my rush experience, which I would love to put in a separate post for future PNMs, about the rush experience itself and what I learned. I learned so much about myself, about facing rejection, about seeing beyond stereotypes and also how to find other ways to keep the goals that I set for myself. I do feel like I would have learned a great deal from being in a sorority, by going through recruitment on the other side and everything, but that's that.

Did I behave immaturely by not going to bid night, or was I justified in feeling like I had been guaranteed a bid to a house I didn't feel a connection with? Thoughts? Any other GDI's go through the same thing as me?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by SC2013

Did I behave immaturely by not going to bid night, or was I justified in feeling like I had been guaranteed a bid to a house I didn't feel a connection with? Thoughts?

Do you really want GCers to answer this? Are you trying to second guess yourself?

All we know about your place on Joan's list is that it was not high enough. However, if it makes you feel better, they would have been excited to have you as a sister, since it is possible that any PNM on a chapter's list can match.

Did you behave immaturely? I wouldnt say immature, since this is pretty common behavior for 18-19 year olds. Though not immature, I would say it was ill-advised.

Did you feel "tricked" or "forced" into ranking Peggy? Of course, Panhellenic wants every PNM to maximize her options so they can place every PNM and every chapter makes quota. The whole "ranking your second choice helps you get your first choice" is technically true in some cases, but misleading. Maximizing makes you eligible to be a quota addition, which means that you're more likely to get your first choice if you're too low on BOTH lists. Though, I am assuming that Peggy didn't make quota, so being a Joan QA wouldn't happen. I don't like to see PNMs rank chapters where they would just decline on the spot. It only inflates quota and creates false hope for chapters who matched quota, but only have a fraction of those show up on bid day.

I do think you should have gone to bid day. When you're bound for a year (and especially since you're a sophomore and it's your last decent shot at going Greek), why not try to find your place in that chapter? It doesn't matter if you decline on bid day or if you drop out right before initiation, you're still bound until Fall '11.

I am confused as to why you didn't go to bid day since you said you would have been open to visiting Peggy again via COB or spring informal recruitment....you could have actually experienced the chapter as a new member instead of in a recruitment setting and that could have made all the difference in the world.

Despite not giving Peggy another chance, I am glad that you moved on and found your niche.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by SC2013

Maybe they did....but to be honest, that bid night...I didn't think so. I still don't think they really wanted me, because I was guaranteed a bid.

What with quotas and everything, I'm sure that group of girls that wanted literally the most wanted house (or at least #2 I'm sure) on campus ended up with the house that I had wanted because they were guaranteed a bid. And the house that I had become less and less attached to offered me a bid probably because many girls dropped them, and Panhellenic matches girls to get the maximum amount of girls to each house.

No no no no no. That's not how it works.

You did not get "shoved out" of Joan because there were girls who didn't get Rachel or Trudy or whoever. I think the way your Rho Chi told you was a little misleading. She should have said: if you are INVITED BACK by only one house, you are assured of a bid to that house. The way you put it makes it sound like she was saying "well if you would have blown off going to Peggy, Joan would have offered you a bid." That's not how it works. That would have gotten you kicked out of rush with no chance of any bid to anything.

Also, you were not high up enough on Joan's bid list to be a QA, which as vp said you would have been eligible for ONLY by putting down both groups. Basically you put down Peggy not because you could ever see yourself there, but because you thought it would help you get Joan.

I definitely think you made the correct choice in declining your bid.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Also, you were not high up enough on Joan's bid list to be a QA, which as vp said you would have been eligible for ONLY by putting down both groups.

Where she was on Joan's list doesn't matter quite so much as the fate of the PNM's #2 chapter. It is possible that the last girl on Joan's list could be matched as a QA, but her other chapter would have also had to have made quota. In order to be a QA, you have to maximize, AND be too low on BOTH of your chapters' lists to be matched during "regular matching" (strictly to quota). If Peggy made quota before getting to SC2013's name, THEN she would have another shot at getting Joan, as a QA. If Peggy didn't make quota, then of course SC2013 is matched with Peggy.

However, correct me if I am wrong, there are several factors that go into determining where the QAs go, one of which is current chapter size, so even if Peggy did make quota, SC2013 could have gotten Peggy as a QA, since Peggy is a smaller chapter than Joan.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Where she was on Joan's list doesn't matter quite so much as the fate of the PNM's #2 chapter. It is possible that the last girl on Joan's list could be matched as a QA, but her other chapter would have also had to have made quota. In order to be a QA, you have to maximize, AND be too low on BOTH of your chapters' lists to be matched during "regular matching" (strictly to quota). If Peggy made quota before getting to SC2013's name, THEN she would have another shot at getting Joan, as a QA. If Peggy didn't make quota, then of course SC2013 is matched with Peggy.

However, correct me if I am wrong, there are several factors that go into determining where the QAs go, one of which is current chapter size, so even if Peggy did make quota, SC2013 could have gotten Peggy as a QA, since Peggy is a smaller chapter than Joan.

Hmmm...I thought QAs were apportioned first by PNM preference. I agree with your first explanation. She'd go to Peggy unless Peggy got to quota before her name came up on the list...then she'd get to be a QA,

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

However, correct me if I am wrong, there are several factors that go into determining where the QAs go, one of which is current chapter size, so even if Peggy did make quota, SC2013 could have gotten Peggy as a QA, since Peggy is a smaller chapter than Joan.

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Hmmm...I thought QAs were apportioned first by PNM preference. I agree with your first explanation. She'd go to Peggy unless Peggy got to quota before her name came up on the list...then she'd get to be a QA,

From reading these boards for awhile, it seems that this is a decision that each campus panhellenic gets to make. It appears that some schools place the QAs with the lowest total chapter, whereas others seem to place them in the PNMs first choice chapter.

Personally I like the theory of placing them in the smallest group, as QAs can be a way for the large to get even larger. However, having scores of PNMs getting their 3rd choice (and then them not showing up) is not exactly what we want either.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

From reading these boards for awhile, it seems that this is a decision that each campus panhellenic gets to make. It appears that some schools place the QAs with the lowest total chapter, whereas others seem to place them in the PNMs first choice chapter.

Personally I like the theory of placing them in the smallest group, as QAs can be a way for the large to get even larger. However, having scores of PNMs getting their 3rd choice (and then them not showing up) is not exactly what we want either.

I almost always prefer the option that helps a smaller chapter. However, when it comes to QA's, a woman can not be added unless all of her pref chapters have made quota anyway. In that case, I think that it should be "rules be damned, let the GA do what she has to in order to maximize the number of women placed as QA's, while staying under 5% of quota".

Also, from the PNM's point of view, if one of her prefs is at the chapter that can't make quota, it makes no difference whether or not she lists them on her bid card, she is not going to be a QA at her first choice.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I almost always prefer the option that helps a smaller chapter. However, when it comes to QA's, a woman can not be added unless all of her pref chapters have made quota anyway. In that case, I think that it should be "rules be damned, let the GA do what she has to in order to maximize the number of women placed as QA's, while staying under 5% of quota".

Also, from the PNM's point of view, if one of her prefs is at the chapter that can't make quota, it makes no difference whether or not she lists them on her bid card, she is not going to be a QA at her first choice.

They did away with this mandate. Statistically, the stronger chapters should have less opportunities for QAs if RFM is done correctly since their numbers for pref should be fairly low. That should not leave too many women with an option to list them #1 for a QA. If all QAs majically get dumped into the lowest group, that then again gives them the reputation of the group that takes all the leftovers. Not really something that is preferrable either.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

However, correct me if I am wrong, there are several factors that go into determining where the QAs go, one of which is current chapter size, so even if Peggy did make quota, SC2013 could have gotten Peggy as a QA, since Peggy is a smaller chapter than Joan.

this is how i understand it(also been a few years for me as a recruitment adviser)

[SC2013]

Originally Posted by 33girl

No no no no no. That's not how it works.

You did not get "shoved out" of Joan because there were girls who didn't get Rachel or Trudy or whoever. I think the way your Rho Chi told you was a little misleading. She should have said: if you are INVITED BACK by only one house, you are assured of a bid to that house. The way you put it makes it sound like she was saying "well if you would have blown off going to Peggy, Joan would have offered you a bid." That's not how it works. That would have gotten you kicked out of rush with no chance of any bid to anything.

Also, you were not high up enough on Joan's bid list to be a QA, which as vp said you would have been eligible for ONLY by putting down both groups. Basically you put down Peggy not because you could ever see yourself there, but because you thought it would help you get Joan.

I definitely think you made the correct choice in declining your bid.

Yes, I wrote my post a little hastily and didn't word it properly, but I definitely knew that we were guaranteed bids if we went to Pref, but we were guaranteed A bid, not our #1 choice or anything. Only IF you are invited back to a single house for Pref, then since you're guaranteed a bid if you go to Pref then naturally you are guaranteed a bid to that one house you were invited to. It doesn't mean "well I got two houses, I guess I'll just show up to one and I'll be set!" or anything, and Panhel was clear to state that which is great.

And I know a girl who blew off a House Tour and got kicked out of rush last year, and this year Panhellenic girls were also very sure to emphasize that you must go back to all parties you are invited to (unless you received a bid from them last year, in which case you are not obligated to go back if you're re-rushing unless you want to).

[SC2013]

-Letters of rec/resume: one that gives good insight to your interests and personality (not "She was in the National Honor Society. She is smart. She is pretty. She...") will make it way easier for each sorority to set you up with a girl that you'll get along with. The letter itself puts you on their radar just slightly (compared to most girls out of 1000s that don't get letters), and you're more likely to like their house based on talking to a girl you get along with. More importantly, the girl rushing you will probably be more likely to think you're a good fit for the house, and hopefully prevent you from being cut after the first round at the very least.

-Legacy status: while some houses value this more than others, if you don't get along with the girls, or they don't want you back, why would you want to be in this house? Your mom's/sister's/great-aunt's chapter is probably completely different anyways. Even if she graduated from the same chapter, years later it's probably going to be different. (I guess if your sister is a current active at your current chapter, that's a different story.)

-Appearance: Yes, it's fun to go rush shopping. Yes, it's fun to get ready with your girlfriends. Yes, it makes a great first impression and shows you care about your recruitment. But that's it. Seriously. And that's a good thing! Who wants to be in a house where they're ALWAYS dressed up to the 9s and you can't ever walk around the sorority house without makeup? Nobody...which is why no houses are like this. Show your individuality (unless you're in the South, I guess ), wear something comfortable (nothing's worse than being distracted by your clothes while trying to have a conversation, especially a rush conversation), and then forget about the whole clothes thing after you head out the door. Focus on connections, not consumerism.



Basically, all the superficial qualities about you (looks, high school achievements, who you're related to) are great starters to pique a sorority's interest in you. But the things that REALLY matter, the je ne sais quoi of how you'll know the sorority's right for you, and how they'll know you'll be a great sister, can only be figured out by the recruitment process, by conversations and questions, by hashing out how well you like them in comparison to others, and them with you.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by SC2013

-Letters of rec/resume: one that gives good insight to your interests and personality (not "She was in the National Honor Society. She is smart. She is pretty. She...") will make it way easier for each sorority to set you up with a girl that you'll get along with. The letter itself puts you on their radar just slightly (compared to most girls out of 1000s that don't get letters), and you're more likely to like their house based on talking to a girl you get along with. More importantly, the girl rushing you will probably be more likely to think you're a good fit for the house, and hopefully prevent you from being cut after the first round at the very least.

-Legacy status: while some houses value this more than others, if you don't get along with the girls, or they don't want you back, why would you want to be in this house? Your mom's/sister's/great-aunt's chapter is probably completely different anyways. Even if she graduated from the same chapter, years later it's probably going to be different. (I guess if your sister is a current active at your current chapter, that's a different story.)

-Appearance: Yes, it's fun to go rush shopping. Yes, it's fun to get ready with your girlfriends. Yes, it makes a great first impression and shows you care about your recruitment. But that's it. Seriously. And that's a good thing! Who wants to be in a house where they're ALWAYS dressed up to the 9s and you can't ever walk around the sorority house without makeup? Nobody...which is why no houses are like this. Show your individuality (unless you're in the South, I guess ), wear something comfortable (nothing's worse than being distracted by your clothes while trying to have a conversation, especially a rush conversation), and then forget about the whole clothes thing after you head out the door. Focus on connections, not consumerism.



Basically, all the superficial qualities about you (looks, high school achievements, who you're related to) are great starters to pique a sorority's interest in you. But the things that REALLY matter, the je ne sais quoi of how you'll know the sorority's right for you, and how they'll know you'll be a great sister, can only be figured out by the recruitment process, by conversations and questions, by hashing out how well you like them in comparison to others, and them with you.

eloquently and succinctly stated!

[arrowlady]

Originally Posted by SC2013

-Letters of rec/resume: one that gives good insight to your interests and personality (not "She was in the National Honor Society. She is smart. She is pretty. She...") will make it way easier for each sorority to set you up with a girl that you'll get along with. The letter itself puts you on their radar just slightly (compared to most girls out of 1000s that don't get letters), and you're more likely to like their house based on talking to a girl you get along with. More importantly, the girl rushing you will probably be more likely to think you're a good fit for the house, and hopefully prevent you from being cut after the first round at the very least.

-Legacy status: while some houses value this more than others, if you don't get along with the girls, or they don't want you back, why would you want to be in this house? Your mom's/sister's/great-aunt's chapter is probably completely different anyways. Even if she graduated from the same chapter, years later it's probably going to be different. (I guess if your sister is a current active at your current chapter, that's a different story.)

-Appearance: Yes, it's fun to go rush shopping. Yes, it's fun to get ready with your girlfriends. Yes, it makes a great first impression and shows you care about your recruitment. But that's it. Seriously. And that's a good thing! Who wants to be in a house where they're ALWAYS dressed up to the 9s and you can't ever walk around the sorority house without makeup? Nobody...which is why no houses are like this. Show your individuality (unless you're in the South, I guess ), wear something comfortable (nothing's worse than being distracted by your clothes while trying to have a conversation, especially a rush conversation), and then forget about the whole clothes thing after you head out the door. Focus on connections, not consumerism.



Basically, all the superficial qualities about you (looks, high school achievements, who you're related to) are great starters to pique a sorority's interest in you. But the things that REALLY matter, the je ne sais quoi of how you'll know the sorority's right for you, and how they'll know you'll be a great sister, can only be figured out by the recruitment process, by conversations and questions, by hashing out how well you like them in comparison to others, and them with you.

I am printing this off for my daughter when it is her turn to go through recruitment! Very well stated!

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by SC2013

Forgive me for holding off on the last post for so long, it's just I know this would be my longest post...and I have a Chapter meeting at 10

Did I miss something?

[dukedg]

I think QAs tend to benefit the middle chapters the most, using both smaller-chapter and PNM-preference systems. The chapters with the best return rates don't get to bring many PNMs to pref and the smallest chapters don't get many actual NMs or initiated members out of QAs. Meanwhile, the middle chapters generally have more PNMs at pref night and are more likely to get PNMs to try out and stick with their "second choice" chapters. I am fine with that, because it stops the most "selective" chapters from really pulling away from the pack.

That's how I've seen it play out, anyway.