Is this normal...?

KSUViolet06 · #1 01-13-2011, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rxavier

I'm continuing to reach out to my PC but it's becoming *overwhelming* to keep up with everyone as they're already planning on spending vacations together, studying together, making plans for lunch, etc. It takes me longer to get to that place and I'm just worried that it'll be too late for me once I finally come out of my shell.

Not everyone is a "make friends instantly person." Some people take longer.

Also, keep in mind that yes, some girls will seem to become friends instantly, but those friendships can and will change over time in the sorority. Girls that you aren't close with or maybe don't even KNOW now will be your best friends by graduation. Also, girls who are BFFs now, won't be. A lot can change in 4 years and you can't say that you "don't fit in" in three days.

Everyone is not best friends with their Bid Day Buddy. It's okay if you're not. There are even people who end up not being best friends with their Big Sister. That's ok too.

In addition, not everyone's best friends are in their own pledge class. You'll get to know people who are older/younger than you are. Some of my best friends in my chapter were in my Big's class and I am very good friends with some women in my Little Sister's class as well.

You will also start to make friends with the women you live-in with. My very best friend in the sorority was a girl I didn't know well at all until we lived-in together.

So, don't panic. Just participate and be proactive in making friends. Go out to dinner. Go to more than just the required events. Eventually, you will start to build relationships.

DeltaBetaBaby · #2 01-13-2011, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

You will also start to make friends with the women you live-in with. My very best friend in the sorority was a girl I didn't know well at all until we lived-in together.

Oh, and my best friends from the sorority post-college are not the ones I was closest to in college.

rxavier · #3 01-13-2011, 12:35 PM

I feel silly for getting all worked up about this, but I just want to know that I made the right decision. I think that a lot of this comes from the age discrepancy between the majority of the PC (freshmen) and myself (a sophomore). I don't live on campus, I'm involved in other organizations I have a job and a serious boyfriend, and I'm taking a heavy course load (18 hours). I've invited the girls to come to the other organizations with me as well as offered them rides to and from the house and to hang out at my apartment. But needless to say, I feel spread too thin right now.

Did any one else that pledged as a sophomore experience this?

AlphaFrog · #4 01-13-2011, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rxavier

I feel silly for getting all worked up about this, but I just want to know that I made the right decision. I think that a lot of this comes from the age discrepancy between the majority of the PC (freshmen) and myself (a sophomore). I don't live on campus, I'm involved in other organizations I have a job and a serious boyfriend, and I'm taking a heavy course load (18 hours). I've invited the girls to come to the other organizations with me as well as offered them rides to and from the house and to hang out at my apartment. But needless to say, I feel spread too thin right now.

Did any one else that pledged as a sophomore experience this?

Yes - I pledged as a sophomore/serious boyfriend/22 hours. I remember doing an excercise in our pledge manual designed to show you how much extra time you actually do have that you waste on TV/naps/coffee shop/etc....I was stunned at how much time there was - in other people's schedules. Mine, not so much. I had 4 classes that were one credit hour that each required 5 hours OR MORE of classtime a week. Looking back, I think that's why I didn't get close to many sisters until I moved into the house 2nd semester.

KSUViolet06 · #5 01-16-2011, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Oh, and my best friends from the sorority post-college are not the ones I was closest to in college.

This is so true too!

There are chapter sisters I talk to everyday now whom I didn't know well in college AT ALL (beyond "hi how are you?")

Post-college, there are also opportunities to build friendships with women who aren't from your chapter at all.

Through my volunteer work as an alumna, I have had the opportunity to become close with people whom I would have never met otherwise.