What to tell overconfident PNMs

[KDMafia]

I think that is one of the more negative aspects of deferred recruitment. These girls spend a semester together and become super devoted to each other and they are the best friends ever and cannot imagine their life without each other etc etc.

I remember how friendships felt my freshman year and how many of them didn't last because the intensity level is to high to to maintain. Plus you're getting comfortable in a strange environment and once you feel at home it's easier to start to realize some of your friends annoy you or were in reality more convenient than anything.

However, these girls haven't realized this yet. They coming back after there break where they missed their freedom and their friendships and i think the thought of getting split up seems scary.

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by KDMafia

I think that is one of the more negative aspects of deferred recruitment. These girls spend a semester together and become super devoted to each other and they are the best friends ever and cannot imagine their life without each other etc etc.

I feel like that's something the PXs should really emphasize during recruitment -- just because you're in different sororities does not mean you can't be friends anymore! Having good friends in different sororities is how you build strong Panhellenic spirit. It's not just a good thing, it's a GREAT thing. I think some PNMs get caught up in the thought that an ABC can't be super good friends with an XYZ, and that's not true at all.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by FleurGirl

I feel like that's something the PXs should really emphasize during recruitment -- just because you're in different sororities does not mean you can't be friends anymore!

THIS.

And... ah yes, the package deals. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Funnily enough, my chapter thought I was a package deal with another PNM because we happened to walk in the door at the same time (local sorority, informal recruitment). I had never met the other PNM before that moment. We each got bids and we each got very involved - but I never got along with her, and haven't spoken to her since graduation.

Hey, if Prize Plum PNM wants to turn down an invitation or bid to XYZ sorority because they didn't issue an invite/bid to one or two of her posse, that's Prize Plum PNM's loss. What if a job candidate were to say, "If you want me to come work for you, you also have to hire Tom, Dick, and Harry" when Tom, Dick, and/or Harry aren't qualified? I'd say, "That's nice - don't call us, we'll call you" and file her resume in the cylindrical file.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KDMafia

I think that is one of the more negative aspects of deferred recruitment. These girls spend a semester together and become super devoted to each other and they are the best friends ever and cannot imagine their life without each other etc etc.

I remember how friendships felt my freshman year and how many of them didn't last because the intensity level is to high to to maintain. Plus you're getting comfortable in a strange environment and once you feel at home it's easier to start to realize some of your friends annoy you or were in reality more convenient than anything.

However, these girls haven't realized this yet. They coming back after there break where they missed their freedom and their friendships and i think the thought of getting split up seems scary.

This was one positive aspect of spending my whole freshman year with a possessive boyfriend and then going thru rush 1st semester sophomore year. LOL.

The only "package deals" when I was in school were legacies and their friends, and those all worked out fairly decently as the legacies understood the concept of membership selection. I think they got a few like what you originally described after I left, and surprise surprise, those were the girls who didn't do squat, didn't hold offices, etc...jacket sisters in other words.

If anyone would have straight up said "you have to take Shrek to get me" I'm fairly sure we would have told her and Shrek to walk their butts on out of our house. If someone's pullling that sort of power play as a PNM, how obnoxious will they be as an initiated sister??!?

[KDMafia]

I'm trying to figure out how a PNM would broach that with a sorority: "So, you like me? Then take my 4 buddies." I would love to know how that plays out.

I think it's a little bit more obvious from the Rho Gammas point of view but the actives know it's happening. Due to deferred rush we hear a lot about the different "cliques" coming through and which ones are vowing to all join the same one. We did have one girl once say in her pref night that she wanted to be in the same sorority as her roommate. It almost came more out of a sense of concern. He roommate was really shy and she wasn't and I think she knew that her roommate stood a higher chance of getting cut than she did and I don't think she meant it to sound like a demand, just an honest statement. Luckily for her we also liked her roommate but if we didn't I can imagine how that statment might have came across.