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Welcome to our newest member, Alberttus |
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12-10-2010, 06:10 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 734
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And a reminder that even if you post your recruitment story after your recruitment is over, that doesn't mean you can go crazy insulting chapters and being obnoxious. Just because you're a new member doesn't mean you're free and clear to be rude toward chapters that either cut you or you didn't like. People DO have friends in all chapters, and people WILL talk.
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12-10-2010, 08:40 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 437
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eightisgreat
So tweedledee brings up a valid point. How do you write a recruitment story (even when you don't list the school...most experienced GCers can figure out where you are) without a connection being made? My daughter will go through recruitment fall of 2011 and I think it would be fun for either her (if she is willing) or me (if granted her approval) to write such a story. I find the stories that are honest and funny very appealing and educational, but how much detail can you give without everyone knowing exactly who you are? It really is a small world.
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If you're a parent you shouldn't write one. Period. No matter how flattering and kind it may be. No matter if your daughter approves. No matter how many moms and dads here think it's interesting, fine or cute. Someone will figure it out and everyone in the Greek system at her school who is aware of it will think of her differently (and not in a good way.) They just won't say what they're thinking to her face.
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12-10-2010, 09:17 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 14,245
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Feel free to write one if your daughter's okay with it. If you want to post-date it or otherwise disguise the story, that works too. Just don't give any identifying details such as "my redhaired daughter from Alaska is rushing at Bama". You might want to get a new username to do your story in case you've revealed any details about yourself in previous posts.
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12-10-2010, 10:13 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Counting my blessings!
Posts: 31,413
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Loved the original post. But why is "everyone" going to hate on somenoe whose parents are interested in her? I know that most college students hide some things from their parents, but everyone?
Just seems a little paranoid to me, but hey, what do I know? I actually loved my parents!
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12-10-2010, 11:44 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 734
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Someone could have a "Wow, does mommy do everything for her?" attitude about a parent writing a rush story on behalf of/about their child. Even if the kid doesn't mind, some of their friends may think it's weird or clingy for a parent to be that involved in a college-age child's social activity.
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12-10-2010, 11:54 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 14,245
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We've had many wonderful recruitment threads written by parents...one of the best was justamom's thread in 2001 with her followup a year later! Another one was by a mom whose daughter went Theta at Auburn, another by the mom of a USM Phi Mu, and I can even think of several good threads written by dads! They didn't come off as creepily overinvolved but simply as good reads.
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12-10-2010, 11:59 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,730
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This is a lane swerve although not every NPCer agrees with parents writing recruitment threads (do some consider this borderline helicopter parenting?):
I found justamom's thread strange and think that recruitment threads are one of many things that parents need to just sit back and let their daughters (ya know, the people who are actually going through it) handle. Even if the daughter types it up and lets the parent post it. Step awaaaaaay from the keyboard, parents.
Pardon the lane swerve, I just felt like sharing.
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12-11-2010, 12:07 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Fetch-Ville
Posts: 117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation
We've had many wonderful recruitment threads written by parents...one of the best was justamom's thread in 2001 with her followup a year later! Another one was by a mom whose daughter went Theta at Auburn, another by the mom of a USM Phi Mu, and I can even think of several good threads written by dads! They didn't come off as creepily overinvolved but simply as good reads.
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If there's a slim chance that a recruitment thread can jeopardize their daughter's recruitment/sorority experience, why take the risk?
They were good reads, but let's face it -- not all our collegiate members are nice and sweet. Some of them are just plain bitchy these days and will do anything to sabotage an innocent girl's rush. Why even give them the ammo?
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12-11-2010, 05:03 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 437
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Things are very different than they were even five or ten years ago. This is not the internet or GC of 2001.
It's irresponsible for a parent to do anything that might negatively affect and/or embarrass their child here or anywhere else. Even if you ask your daughter if it's ok to put her story here, that is putting a decision in the hands of a teenager who is just beginning to learn to be on her own and she may not fully comprehend the short and long term consequences. You're supposed to be the level headed adult.
The people who are saying "go for it" are parents and alumnae. No matter how involved you are with a chapter or your daughter, you honestly have no idea what really happens as an active now. Why in the world would you want to risk your child's happiness to fulfill your need to spill?
I can tell you with 100% certainty that a parent's story here seriously impaired a daughter's recruitment this fall. The parent was warned numerous times, both in PMs and in public, to stop but they didn't. The parent only finally realized what they had done once the recruitment ended with a disappointing bid.
I post these kinds of warnings only with the best interest of the PNMs in mind. I don't do them to get a reaction. Don't turn yourself or your daughter into that girl.
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12-11-2010, 05:51 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Fetch-Ville
Posts: 117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn
Things are very different than they were even five or ten years ago. This is not the internet or GC of 2001.
It's irresponsible for a parent to do anything that might negatively affect and/or embarrass their child here or anywhere else. Even if you ask your daughter if it's ok to put her story here, that is putting a decision in the hands of a teenager who is just beginning to learn to be on her own and she may not fully comprehend the short and long term consequences. You're supposed to be the level headed adult.
The people who are saying "go for it" are parents and alumnae. No matter how involved you are with a chapter or your daughter, you honestly have no idea what really happens as an active now. Why in the world would you want to risk your child's happiness to fulfill your need to spill?
I can tell you with 100% certainty that a parent's story here seriously impaired a daughter's recruitment this fall. The parent was warned numerous times, both in PMs and in public, to stop but they didn't. The parent only finally realized what they had done once the recruitment ended with a disappointing bid.
I post these kinds of warnings only with the best interest of the PNMs in mind. I don't do them to get a reaction. Don't turn yourself or your daughter into that girl.
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Is the link to that story still here? Or have the mods moved it to the darkside?
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12-11-2010, 08:39 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 14,245
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Several mods have no idea which story you're talking about. The only stories we can think of are ones in which girls shot themselves in the foot. Possibly there could have been stories where due to various factors like grades, the girl had a bad chance in the first place but we don't remember a mom tanking her daughter's recruitment.
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12-11-2010, 09:36 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: naples, florida
Posts: 18,659
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i enjoy the rush threads-as long as the parent is discreet, posts after the fact and says nothing derogatory about any of the chapters(not feeling a connection is fine, unusual conversation is fine-chapter had a party girl, slutty girl rep.-no), i see no problem.
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12-11-2010, 10:05 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tatooine
Posts: 2,173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FSUZeta
i enjoy the rush threads-as long as the parent is discreet, posts after the fact and says nothing derogatory about any of the chapters(not feeling a connection is fine, unusual conversation is fine-chapter had a party girl, slutty girl rep.-no), i see no problem.
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I agree. If the parents use some common sense regarding what they post (omitting identifying details, refraining from being rude as FSUZeta said, etc) and if they just wait until it is over, no harm no foul.
Personally I would consider PNMs posting live recruitment threads FAR more dangerous than parents doing so.
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12-11-2010, 10:17 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 14,245
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alumiyum
Personally I would consider PNMs posting live recruitment threads FAR more dangerous than parents doing so.
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Oh, definitely! I can think of at least 5 PNMs whose threads actually insulted groups on their campuses and only 1 even got a bid. It's easy for parents or PNMs to post-date a thread and/or hide details, as FSUZeta said. Her thread about her daughter is a wonderful example! You can even, as I once did, get another GCer to post your child's thread as "the recruitment of a friend's daughter" and reveal who the PNM is later.
GCer PNMs and parents, it's up to you whether to do a thread. No one else should make this decision for you and if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to read it. Choose your words wisely and you should be fine.
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12-11-2010, 11:01 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
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Recruitment threads at all serve little purpose beyound vicarious living of other Greekchatters and watching PNMs crash and burn.
I'm for them stopping altogether. Talk about the different skits or decor or whatever after recruitment, but I'm going to go with no one here being that interesting that we just can't do without hearing every minutae of their thoughts, clothing decisions, or how the sister from house A talked funny. The PNM threads have devolved into endless "dress the PNM" nightmares with people giving advice inappropriate for the campus because they think they know better.
Parents, stop living vicarious through your children. GCers, stop living vicariously through PNMs. These stories serve no greater good.
/now who peed in my Cheerios this morning.
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