Honeychile,
My attitude isn't really all that wonderful. I've just had some time to grieve. There's not a day that goes by that I don't want my husband or mother back. Mama's been gone 4 1/2 years and Kenny, 2 1/2 years, so the grief isn't fresh, just constant. Mama's death was horrible, but Kenny's was absolutely devastating. I can regress at any time into utter despair, although it doesn't last as long as it did at first. I just can't explain how life changing losing your spouse can be. My daughter lost her dad and really her mom, too, for a while. I wasn't all there for two whole years, and I'm sure she thought I wasn't there for her.
I'll never be the same person I was before my husband died. I wish I could. I miss that person as much as I miss Kenny and Mama. I do see little glimpses of the old me now and then, so that is good.
I'm slowly moving forward, which is really the only option I have! I've been fighting it tooth and nail though. The past is a wonderful place that seems too magical to have ever been real. I want to go there everyday. Not gonna happen is it? No.
I hope you can find some peace soon, Honeychile, and I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother.
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