Retro Rush Story: My sorority membership changed my life

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If Sallie's chapter had been different to the point that it was still there, it might not have been her chapter and done all that it did for her.

Unless you're Greek it's hard to understand this.

Ok, I'm Greek and I don't understand it.

No, seriously. I'm not sure I understand what you were saying.

Unless you mean that it did what it did for me because it was a lower tier chapter and therefore gave me more opportunities. If that is what you are saying, then I would say this is probably true to some degree.

In some ways the whole tier thing is so crazy because your sorority membership is what you make of it no matter which tier you are in. Unless someone is on a campus where the top tier Greeks have a stranglehold level of control over everything that happens on campus (and I imagine they exist) then there are just too many opportunities for women to not excel and do great things if they truly desire to do so.

For example, while I was there one of my sisters was Panhel president. (Although the "top tier" houses nominated another woman who was much less qualified to run against her because, well, you can't have a Panhel president from a "lower tier" house. But we did and she did a great job.) Another sister was Greek Pledge of the Year. (Yes, the pledge of the year came from a "lower tier" house.) Another one was on homecoming court which was no small feat on a campus the size of MSU with 16 sororities. There were a lot of outstanding women in our chapter who did great things on campus.

So when I hear that women would rather drop out of recruitment and not be Greek than join a "lesser house" it really frustrates me because I know how much they are potentially giving up both during college and for the rest of their lives.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Unless you mean that it did what it did for me because it was a lower tier chapter and therefore gave me more opportunities. If that is what you are saying, then I would say this is probably true to some degree.

In some ways the whole tier thing is so crazy because your sorority membership is what you make of it no matter which tier you are in.

Well, yes. That's part of it.

If the women before you had not chosen you, and if you had not chosen the women after you, it wouldn't have been the same chapter that you gained so much from. For whatever reason, these women weren't what the campus deemed an "upper tier" chapter. And the women were what made the chapter for you.

I'm also from a closed chapter, and as much as it sucks that we're closed, as much as it sucks that I go back on campus and don't see our letters, I think it would have sucked MORE to see that chapter, with that chapter designation that means something very special, change into something unrecognizable (either through national intervention or just through time). I know some of my friends in other sororities have dealt with this - coming back and looking at the chapter as it is now and realizing that if they'd been going through rush today, they'd NEVER get a bid. That kind of hurts, even if the chapter is "more successful" than it was when you were there.

I know that kind of thing lessens as you get older but I honestly think that we all have a bond from that struggle and it covers a huge age group, much more than I see in some of the stronger groups. The mixers we didn't have back then kind of pale next to the love for each other we have now.

That's why I got kind of annoyed at the "oh no, your chapters closed, how life must suck for you" attidude in the post I quoted.

[TriDeltaSallie]

33girl,

That's an interesting perspective I hadn't really considered. I always thought I would be so proud to go back to my chapter if it was thriving and know I played a tiny part in helping it do well. I don't think the not being someone who would get a bid now thing would bother me unless the women were just rude and full of themselves. If they were rude to me as an alumna of that chapter... THAT is what I would find truly offensive.

I think I'd rather have a chapter to return to if given the choice, but I hear what you are saying.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Well, yes. That's part of it.

If the women before you had not chosen you, and if you had not chosen the women after you, it wouldn't have been the same chapter that you gained so much from. For whatever reason, these women weren't what the campus deemed an "upper tier" chapter. And the women were what made the chapter for you.

I'm also from a closed chapter, and as much as it sucks that we're closed, as much as it sucks that I go back on campus and don't see our letters, I think it would have sucked MORE to see that chapter, with that chapter designation that means something very special, change into something unrecognizable (either through national intervention or just through time). I know some of my friends in other sororities have dealt with this - coming back and looking at the chapter as it is now and realizing that if they'd been going through rush today, they'd NEVER get a bid. That kind of hurts, even if the chapter is "more successful" than it was when you were there.

I know that kind of thing lessens as you get older but I honestly think that we all have a bond from that struggle and it covers a huge age group, much more than I see in some of the stronger groups. The mixers we didn't have back then kind of pale next to the love for each other we have now.

That's why I got kind of annoyed at the "oh no, your chapters closed, how life must suck for you" attidude in the post I quoted.

[mittens]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Ok, I'm Greek and I don't understand it.

No, seriously. I'm not sure I understand what you were saying.

Unless you mean that it did what it did for me because it was a lower tier chapter and therefore gave me more opportunities. If that is what you are saying, then I would say this is probably true to some degree.

In some ways the whole tier thing is so crazy because your sorority membership is what you make of it no matter which tier you are in. Unless someone is on a campus where the top tier Greeks have a stranglehold level of control over everything that happens on campus (and I imagine they exist) then there are just too many opportunities for women to not excel and do great things if they truly desire to do so.

For example, while I was there one of my sisters was Panhel president. (Although the "top tier" houses nominated another woman who was much less qualified to run against her because, well, you can't have a Panhel president from a "lower tier" house. But we did and she did a great job.) Another sister was Greek Pledge of the Year. (Yes, the pledge of the year came from a "lower tier" house.) Another one was on homecoming court which was no small feat on a campus the size of MSU with 16 sororities. There were a lot of outstanding women in our chapter who did great things on campus.

So when I hear that women would rather drop out of recruitment and not be Greek than join a "lesser house" it really frustrates me because I know how much they are potentially giving up both during college and for the rest of their lives.

I completely agree with what you said in bold. Every sorority is that way. However, it's unfortunate that PNMs would rather not be greek than to have such an amazing experience as you did in your chapter. One thing that really made me stay in the sorority, which as I said above didn't seem as desirable to PNMs as other sororities on my campus, is that I could be the change in my sorority. I am so lucky that most of my pledge sisters stayed and also felt the same way as me. One of my sisters told me that her relative could not see her in my sorority. She decided to stay anyway because of the friends and memories she already made during her new member period.

During my rush, there was drop dead gorgeous ladies complimenting AOII and how they would fit in there, but would rather be in a "higher tier" chapter. Even though I can see this being heartbreaking to AOIIs if they heard this, it is also a compliment that these ladies acknowledged my chapter out of the other 7 on my campus. I don't know the reason why they would rather chose the higher tier chapter, maybe they made a connection, maybe it was a superficial reason.

Formal recruitment is coming up at my university and we are extremely excited to see our new pledge class and show them what it is really like to be an AOII. We want a pledge class like mine and the year before. I can see my sorority changing and recognized more. AND it's for the better Hopefully my little story can put a smile on your face at the end of the day knowing that there are PNMs/actives that do not mind being in a "lower-tier" "mid-tier" chapter. I don't give a **** about what people say about me or my chapter because I know how amazing my sisters are.