How does one respond to...

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Miriverite

... that dreaded reason for de-pledging, de-affiliating, or plain not going through recruitment... that one simple statement that makes me scratch my head in confusion:

"Greek life just isn't for me."

I've heard of quite a few guys/girls at my school who depledged/deaffiliated their GLO citing this reason. But what does it really mean? How are we, as fellow sisters/brothers, supposed to respond to this? How does exec try to win a member back when they give this reason? I don't want to sound too probing, but a lot of the time individuals will say something like, "I really admire sorority XYZ, and I've enjoyed my time here and wish I could stay, but sorority life just isn't for me." Isn't that a bit of a contradictory statement?

How do we respond to that, as executive officers? As fellow members?

"What part of it didn't you like?"

It could be:
-the required activities
-something in ritual that offended them/ritual in general
-they dislike living with a large number of people (and your chapter requires living in the house at some point for every member)
-a personal beef with another member/another Greek
-pressure from friends/boyfriend/family
-time crunch from classes/job

If it's one of the first three, k_s is totally right. Greek life ISN'T for everyone, even at the most laid-back schools/systems. It's better to just let them go instead of begging them to stay around. I include the house thing because once you let one person slack it creates a very slippery slope. For many chapters, living in the house is as much a part of being Greek as the meetings and rituals - i.e. inescapable.

If it's one of the second three, tell them that lots of people have had the same issues and that you'd like to help them work through it before they make an irrevocable decision.