What to tell overconfident PNMs

[KSUViolet06]

Good bump.

PNMs: Yes, you are wonderful, special, smart, cute, whatever.

But so is every other PNM recruitment.

Sure, you think you're a "for sure in" at XYZ chapter.

So does everyone else.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Good bump.

PNMs: Yes, you are wonderful, special, smart, cute, whatever.

But so is every other PNM recruitment.

Sure, you think you're a "for sure in" at XYZ chapter.

So does everyone else.

YES.

PNM: You are not "too good" for a chapter. There was nothing more unattractive to me as a recruitment counselor than girls coming to get their invites for Theme or Pref, looking disgusted, and leaving. Or even having the balls to say "I would never, ever run there on Bid Day, how embarrassing". We WILL relay this to our sisters, and if it gets back to the chapter you think you ARE good enough for, you very well might get cut for being such a royal pain. It shows you are both selfish and rude. (I have seen this happen several times, yes. And the reason for cutting was the obnoxious attitude, specifically. Even when the girl was pretty, had good grades, and dressed well.) Sororities are fun and they are helpful in so many ways but they also come with drama, and a lot of responsibility and time commitment. This is true of every chapter, regardless. If you're joining for boys or to boost your social stock you probably aren't going to find the time you spend in chapter and at required events worth it, and you might get sick of people telling you how to behave when you accidentally get out of control at a fraternity party (and they will). Join to get the full experience...and if that's why you're joining, you will be able to keep an open mind.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Or even having the balls to say "I would never, ever run there on Bid Day, how embarrassing".

Sorry, but this made a tangent pop into my head. I know at some schools when you accept your bid, it's basically in front of the whole Greek community - running to the group, announcements and the like. I wonder if this sometimes doesn't deter women who MIGHT have given a lower-tier chapter a chance if instead of such a public display, that maybe sorority members came to individual girls' doors and gave them their bids?

I mean, some people are not going to be happy no matter how bids are given, but the thought of 1) publicly embracing a chapter you're not sure how you feel about yet and 2) having to keep a stiff upper lip when you see girls running to the chapter you had your heart set on would have been enough to freak me out. A more discreet type of celebration - or a presentation after initiation when the women are actually members - just sounds better to me.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Sorry, but this made a tangent pop into my head. I know at some schools when you accept your bid, it's basically in front of the whole Greek community - running to the group, announcements and the like. I wonder if this sometimes doesn't deter women who MIGHT have given a lower-tier chapter a chance if instead of such a public display, that maybe sorority members came to individual girls' doors and gave them their bids?

I mean, some people are not going to be happy no matter how bids are given, but the thought of 1) publicly embracing a chapter you're not sure how you feel about yet and 2) having to keep a stiff upper lip when you see girls running to the chapter you had your heart set on would have been enough to freak me out. A more discreet type of celebration - or a presentation after initiation when the women are actually members - just sounds better to me.

I know that at my school, we do this (you are announced, then you run).

BUT

Before that happens, you line up and go into the Greek Life Office individually to get your bid. You are free to accept or decline, and if you accept, THEN you go line up to run out.

If you decline, you leave.

So if you're running out, it's because you decided to give it a shot.

I think the running out part is good and bad.

I've heard some girls say that they were iffy UNTIL they ran out and saw people yelling for them and holding up signs for them.

Others were not so thrilled because they had to watch other girls run to their top choice.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Sorry, but this made a tangent pop into my head. I know at some schools when you accept your bid, it's basically in front of the whole Greek community - running to the group, announcements and the like. I wonder if this sometimes doesn't deter women who MIGHT have given a lower-tier chapter a chance if instead of such a public display, that maybe sorority members came to individual girls' doors and gave them their bids?

I mean, some people are not going to be happy no matter how bids are given, but the thought of 1) publicly embracing a chapter you're not sure how you feel about yet and 2) having to keep a stiff upper lip when you see girls running to the chapter you had your heart set on would have been enough to freak me out. A more discreet type of celebration - or a presentation after initiation when the women are actually members - just sounds better to me.

Well...yes and no. MOST of the PNM's have said that they felt better about their second choice when they ran with the rest of their new pledge class and got hugged and told how great they were. Yes, there are some that don't want to run and aren't happy about it, but the majority have reported the excitement helped.

On our campus the sororities line up in front of the building the new members run from and cheer and hold signs and whatever goodies they're giving the new girls. The girls sit through the Recruitment Counselor reveal, then they open their envelopes and run. There are always one or two that open them and look crushed, and I do feel sorry for them. I suicided my sorority, so when I was on the steps I already knew I had a bid to my top choice, so I can't act like I know what it's like to have to sit there and wait when you don't know. I'm sure it's beyond nerve wracking. But that's when the excitement comes in and helps. (PNM's have been given questionnaires in previous years that they answer anonymously and most were enthusiastic about running, even if they indicated they didn't get their top choice). My chapter (and I'm sure most of the others) gets a few every year that did not put us first, and many admit it later and say that once they saw how excited we were to have them, they were won over.

Because most of the girls rushing are freshmen and most are located within two dorms...and because we have sorority halls, not houses, on our particular campus it might not be any better to individually come to the girls' rooms. Those who didn't get bids still see the actives coming to get the new members and hear the celebrations on the halls...and can still see their roomate or the girl down the hall being taken to the hall THEY wanted to move to. At least in the excitement of everyone running together those that are less than thrilled can easily hide it in the confusion.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Because most of the girls rushing are freshmen and most are located within two dorms...and because we have sorority halls, not houses, on our particular campus it might not be any better to individually come to the girls' rooms. Those who didn't get bids still see the actives coming to get the new members and hear the celebrations on the halls...and can still see their roomate or the girl down the hall being taken to the hall THEY wanted to move to.

But they get a call far ahead enough of time that they know, right? They should be notified if they don't get a bid so they can get the hell out of Dodge.

[carnation]

Do y'all remember that GCer who told us that at her school on Bid Day, all the PNMs would stand hand to hand in a big circle with their eyes shut? And then the Rho Gammas would walk around the circle and tap the shoulder of those who didn't get a bid and those girls backed out of the circle. Those remaining were told to open their eyes and that they'd gotten bids.

PenguinTrax and I were really upset. Really. I have been to that school's Bid Day since and they give out bids in a decent way now.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by carnation

Do y'all remember that GCer who told us that at her school on Bid Day, all the PNMs would stand hand to hand in a big circle with their eyes shut? And then the Rho Gammas would walk around the circle and tap the shoulder of those who didn't get a bid and those girls backed out of the circle. Those remaining were told to open their eyes and that they'd gotten bids.

PenguinTrax and I were really upset. Really. I have been to that school's Bid Day since and they give out bids in a decent way now.

I do remember that. It's like that game 7 Up in an evil form.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by 33girl

But they get a call far ahead enough of time that they know, right? They should be notified if they don't get a bid so they can get the hell out of Dodge.

Of course...I hope there's no school where PNM's sit on the steps when they don't have a bid. Calls are made before midnight the night before (that's the deadline, but it's usually well before.)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by carnation

Do y'all remember that GCer who told us that at her school on Bid Day, all the PNMs would stand hand to hand in a big circle with their eyes shut? And then the Rho Gammas would walk around the circle and tap the shoulder of those who didn't get a bid and those girls backed out of the circle. Those remaining were told to open their eyes and that they'd gotten bids.

PenguinTrax and I were really upset. Really. I have been to that school's Bid Day since and they give out bids in a decent way now.

Ugh. That's like Heads Up 7 Up from hell.

I remember hearing of another school where all the PNMs were assembled in one room and if you got a bid, it was taped to the bottom of your chair. If you didn't, there was nothing there. So terrible.

My school had Pref and Bid Night in the same day (Pref started early in the AM at like 9 and Bid Night around 8/9 PM).

The Rho Chis got ahold of the girls who didn't get a bid as soon as possible after matching so they knew not to come to the Student Center to pick up a bid. It still probably hurt for them though because if you live in a freshman dorm, there are several PNMs living on your floor and you get to hear/see them coming back from Bid Night with all their new stuff.

NMs and sorority members also usually wear Bid Night shirts on Monday to class. I can imagine that it's a bummer if you're one of few girls who didn't get a bid and you get to sit in your Orientation class with like 5 other girls who did.