Hyphenated last names

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Earlier today, I was talking to one of my classmates who's engaged, but she wants to hyphenate her last name when she marries her fiance'. Apparently, he's making a big deal out of it and doesn't want to go through with it unless she uses his last name, only. Seriously? I mean, if I were married, I personally would rather use my husband's last name, but I totally don't think anything is wrong with someone who prefers hyphenated last names. I just don't get why he's making a huge deal out of it. I mean, if she loves him and he loves her, why is it a big deal? Good grief, it's just a last name. Thoughts/opinions?

If my husband had reacted that way, I honestly don't think I would have married him. It is a values issue, and if you can't agree on something like that, then it really doesn't bode well for the long term.

(Neither myself nor my husband were willing to give up our last names, and so we decided - since we do plan to eventually have children and would like to have one name together as a family - to hyphenate them as MyLastName-HisLastName and both legally change our names to that.)

ETA: And just before anyone asks the inevitable question - "But what're your kids supposed to do? Add *another* hyphen??" - that would be entirely up to them. I could see either doing either MyLastNameORHisLastName-TheirSpouse'sLastName, or just keeping their name, or just taking their spouse's name. I don't see why on earth I would choose my last name based on what my hypothetical future children would potentially choose to do at some hypothetical future time.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

If my husband had reacted that way, I honestly don't think I would have married him. It is a values issue, and if you can't agree on something like that, then it really doesn't bode well for the long term.

Yep. That's what I told her. It's just that I don't know why they're just now having this discussion.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

(Neither myself nor my husband were willing to give up our last names, and so we decided - since we do plan to eventually have children and would like to have one name together as a family - to hyphenate them as MyLastName-HisLastName and both legally change our names to that.)

A colleague did that. I think it's awesome.

Most men would feel too manhood-challenged to do that.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

I don't see why on earth I would choose my last name based on what my hypothetical future children would potentially choose to do at some hypothetical future time.

I agree, even if you currently have children.

[summer_gphib]

Personally I chose not to hyphenate my last name because my husband's name was already too long and French so it's also hard for most people to spell and pronounce. If I had hyphenated it I would have had a 16 letter last name. Ten letters is already annoying enough!

On a side note, I did try really, really hard to convince my husband to take my last name, for the above reason. Of course I can always tell telemarketers just because they can't say my name!