9 Charged after girl kills herself over bullying

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

My parents encouraged me to stand up for myself (and clearly, I have no problems doing that haha), but also made sure my sisters and I knew to respect our elders/authority figures. If I felt that someone was out of line, there are better ways to address the issues.

"I'm curious to know why you want me to finish this assignment when I completed it already"

works better than

"Bitch, I'm not doing this shit. I did it already! Kiss my ass!"

ETA: And, yea, beat your kids' asses from time to time.

LOL!! Wait! No. But seriously, that's how they talk to teachers nowadays. I love that my mommy was one of those parents who had NO problem asking to have a meeting with me, her, the principal and the teacher I was having an issue with. I'd better NOT try to handle it on my own.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

LOL!! Wait! No. But seriously, that's how they talk to teachers nowadays. I love that my mommy was one of those parents who had NO problem asking to have a meeting with me, her, the principal and the teacher I was having issue with. I'd better NOT try to handle it my self.

My mom was the same way. If there were problems, she wouldn't hesitate to call the teacher and administrators (some of which weren't even involved lol) to get to the root of the issue.

Then I had to deal with "Wait til I tell your daddy."

To this day, I will second guess my decisions if I'm afraid mom and dad are gonna pop up and say something about said decisions.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

My mom was the same way. If there were problems, she wouldn't hesitate to call the teacher and administrators (some of which weren't even involved lol) to get to the root of the issue.

Then I had to deal with "Wait til I tell your daddy."

To this day, I will second guess my decisions if I'm afraid mom and dad are gonna pop up and say something about said decisions.

Yep the 90s kids were the start of the problem. I was born in '85 (and my cousins in '86 and '88) and we were all well-behaved and knew our right from our wrong. Our parents kept us in line when needed and just like k_s told us to speak our minds when necessary....to an extent.

Some of them have that mindset of "i'm not gonna be like my parent" so they act like the complete opposite.

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

Why would it be hard for a teacher to know how to respond? I don't understand that either. Many teachers these days need more backbone too. They shouldn't let the kids bully them.

The laws. What do you expect the teacher to do? The teacher can't do anything without risking getting fired. It's not about having a 'backbone.' Teacher's can't tell a student to 'sit their ass down' without being reprimanded. All a teacher can really do is call for help.

[DrPhil]

That's funny because our middle school and high school teachers told us to sit our asses down in the 80s and 90s. Perhaps it doesn't work that way now with these entitled kids of the Internet generation.

But, badass kids were not rare in many of these school systems. Teachers and administration knew how to handle them (with some exceptions) and everyone knew that if YOUR child is a badass, take their badass out of school OR get over the fact that an adult will borderline cuss out your child. There are plenty of ways to instill power and authority without stooping to a child's level--but, some kids NEED their asses handed to them through rough talk and/or embarassment. That's the only way that they'll believe that fat meat is greasy.

Parents and administration can't have it both ways. You either control these badass kids or give teachers the clear to damn near cuss their asses out. You can fuss at the teacher for doing it, but acknowledge that the teacher should've have HAD to do that and YOU dropped the ball somewhere.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That's funny because our middle school and high school teachers told us to sit our asses down in the 80s and 90s. Perhaps it doesn't work that way now with these entitled kids of the Internet generation.

But, badass kids were not rare in many of these school systems. Teachers and administration knew how to handle them (with some exceptions) and everyone knew that if YOUR child is a badass, take their badass out of school OR get over the fact that an adult will borderline cuss out your child. There are plenty of ways to instill power and authority without stooping to a child's level--but, some kids NEED their asses handed to them through rough talk and/or embarassment. That's the only way that they'll believe that fat meat is greasy.

Parents and administration can't have it both ways. You either control these badass kids or give teachers the clear to damn near cuss their asses out. You can fuss at the teacher for doing it, but acknowledge that the teacher should've have HAD to do that and YOU dropped the ball somewhere.

A resounding, "hell yeah" to the part in bold.

But you know, in the 80's and 90's, kids weren't cussing the teachers out the way they are now. If it happened, it was handled quickly and the situation was corrected. Plus I think in general there was more respect and appreciation for teachers back then. Now students almost seem to have the mentality that teachers are there to do THEIR bidding. And with the lack of support shown by admins, students feel like they can do anything and the admins will be so scared of the parents that they will allow the students to get away with murder. It's sick.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

A resounding, "hell yeah" to the part in bold.

But you know, in the 80's and 90's, kids weren't cussing the teachers out the way they are now. If it happened, it was handled quickly and the situation was corrected. Plus I think in general there was more respect and appreciation for teachers back then. Now students almost seem to have the mentality that teachers are there to do THEIR bidding. And with the lack of support shown by admins, students feel like they can do anything and the admins will be so scared of the parents that they will allow the students to get away with murder. It's sick.

Agree with the bolded.

I really want to know what caused the shift from that mentality (semi)recently.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Agree with the bolded.

I really want to know what caused the shift form that mentality (semi)recently.

Me too.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Agree with the bolded.

I really want to know what caused the shift from that mentality (semi)recently.

Pamela Smart? Carolyn Warmus?

I'm kind of joking, but I'm kind of not.

I think it started when the majority of kids' parents were no longer factory workers or secretaries, but were college educated. (Whether they were doing a job that they were educated for was irrelevant.) People no longer thought "well, (s)he went to school for 4 years to do this, (s)he must be right."

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

A resounding, "hell yeah" to the part in bold.

But you know, in the 80's and 90's, kids weren't cussing the teachers out the way they are now. If it happened, it was handled quickly and the situation was corrected. Plus I think in general there was more respect and appreciation for teachers back then. Now students almost seem to have the mentality that teachers are there to do THEIR bidding. And with the lack of support shown by admins, students feel like they can do anything and the admins will be so scared of the parents that they will allow the students to get away with murder. It's sick.

Hmmmmm. Maybe. I would like to say kids were better back then, but it is probably THAT combined with what I was saying earlier:

These were badass nonwhite kids, most of whom in public schools and that includes nonwhite kids of different social classes. When nonwhite kids do stuff, society points to the defiency of the nonwhite cultures and the nonwhite populations. When the white kids begin to do stuff, or what they do receives more attention, the majority white society of America (in terms of population size and power dynamics) points to society and questions why society is changing and/or failing.

Therefore, this is about sooooo much more than "mean bullies" and "why schools are failing." What's embedded in this topic is "mean white bullies" and "why majority white schools are failing." Does this matter? YES because some of our responses in this thread may be seen as an absence of compassion and outrage over the general topic. Instead, I see some of our responses as more of a "same shit, different toilet...let's get beyond the fluff and get to the REAL issue." I can't be shocked and awed over something that isn't so new--except for the fact that the Internet and white perpetrators are added to the equation.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Hmmmmm. Maybe. I would like to say kids were better back then, but it is probably THAT combined with what I was saying earlier:

These were badass nonwhite kids, most of whom in public schools and that includes nonwhite kids of different social classes. When nonwhite kids do stuff, society points to the defiency of the nonwhite cultures and the nonwhite populations. When the white kids begin to do stuff, or what they do receives more attention, the majority white society of America (in terms of population size and power dynamics) points to society and questions why society is changing and/or failing.

Therefore, this is about sooooo much more than "mean bullies" and "why schools are failing." What's embedded in this topic is "mean white bullies" and "why majority white schools are failing." Does this matter? YES because some of our responses in this thread may be seen as an absence of compassion and outrage over the general topic. Instead, I see some of our responses as more of a "same shit, different toilet...let's get beyond the fluff and get to the REAL issue." I can't be shocked and awed over something that isn't so new--except for the fact that the Internet and white perpetrators are added to the equation.

Well said.

(Waiting for someone to find something "racist" about your comment.)

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That's funny because our middle school and high school teachers told us to sit our asses down in the 80s and 90s. Perhaps it doesn't work that way now with these entitled kids of the Internet generation.

But, badass kids were not rare in many of these school systems. Teachers and administration knew how to handle them (with some exceptions) and everyone knew that if YOUR child is a badass, take their badass out of school OR get over the fact that an adult will borderline cuss out your child. There are plenty of ways to instill power and authority without stooping to a child's level--but, some kids NEED their asses handed to them through rough talk and/or embarassment. That's the only way that they'll believe that fat meat is greasy.

Parents and administration can't have it both ways. You either control these badass kids or give teachers the clear to damn near cuss their asses out. You can fuss at the teacher for doing it, but acknowledge that the teacher should've have HAD to do that and YOU dropped the ball somewhere.

Whoa! Flash back to my Grandma when we were little, right before she tore fire into us. I use that same phrase now.

Oh and I agree with your post. Some kids ONLY respond to that.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by epchick

Yep the 90s kids were the start of the problem. I was born in '85 (and my cousins in '86 and '88) and we were all well-behaved and knew our right from our wrong. Our parents kept us in line when needed and just like k_s told us to speak our minds when necessary....to an extent.

Some of them have that mindset of "i'm not gonna be like my parent" so they act like the complete opposite.




The laws. What do you expect the teacher to do? The teacher can't do anything without risking getting fired. It's not about having a 'backbone.' Teacher's can't tell a student to 'sit their ass down' without being reprimanded. All a teacher can really do is call for help.

Well aaaccctttuuuallly, my teachers have said that before AND they added an "before I" to the end. We didn't want to find out what was going to happen if we didn't, so we sat our butts down. I also had a teacher literally wash a friends mouth out with a bar of soap. I miss those teachers, I want THOSE teachers to educate my children when I have some.

[DrPhil]

OK...

...so going with the logic of "these crazy kids are out of their damn minds these days," doesn't that potentially apply to both the bullies and those who are being bullied?

I don't care how much everyone is their parents' bundles of joy, parents never really know what their kids are doing when they are at school. There are some kids who are angels most of the time, but many kids (even the straight A students who are uber religious) have outlets where they unleash their badassness.

With that said, the bullies' parents are probably shocked by their behaviors and the the bullied's parents are probably clueless as to what their child may or may not have done to contribute to the bullying. Not every kid contributes to his/her bullying, but some kids do. So, blame the parents and adults, perhaps partially blame the kids at times--but, definitely examine this further to get a more complete picture of what's going on in these kids' lives.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

OK...

...so going with the logic of "these crazy kids are out of their damn minds these days," doesn't that potentially apply to both the bullies and those who are being bullied?

I don't care how much everyone is their parents' bundles of joy, parents never really know what their kids are doing when they are at school. There are some kids who are angels most of the time, but many kids (even the straight A students who are uber religious) have outlets where they unleash their badassness.

With that said, the bullies' parents are probably shocked by their behaviors and the the bullied's parents are probably clueless as to what their child may or may not have done to contribute to the bullying. Not every kid contributes to his/her bullying, but some kids do. So, blame the parents and adults, perhaps partially blame the kids at times--but, definitely examine this further to get a more complete picture of what's going on in these kids' lives.

You're right. Many parents have NO idea what their kids are doing at school. And kids ARE often really good at presenting themselves as little innocent angels while at home.

I also have found that in some instances, a parent may not exactly know, but they have an inkling because the child bullies THEM at home. smh