Recommendations

gee_ess · #1 03-31-2010, 09:42 AM

I agree that 3 or 4 recs is probably a sufficient number BUT if someone else offers, I wouldn't turn them away. Here's why: Sometimes women say they are going to write a rec, and they don't (forgot, wrote it too late, etc). As the pnm (or parent of one) you have no idea that happened. Rush rolls around and your recs are not there.
I have always felt that it is better to accept everyone's offer than to turn someone down.

Let me clarify that I am not talking about beating the bushes for gazillions of recs. I am talking about an instance where an alum offers to write your daughter a rec because she has learned that daughter is going through rush and would love to help. In my opinion, you don't turn these women down - especially in the South, and especially with an OOS pnm.

Bamababe · #2 03-31-2010, 12:32 PM

I agree that around 3 recs is generally considered standard. However, while gee_ees does make a good point about not turning down recs, I urge you, at least in the case of the seven or eight for one sorority, to draw a line somewhere. If a chapter gets more than, say, 5 recs for one girl, it starts to look a bit odd...

CopterDad · #3 03-31-2010, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bamababe

I agree that around 3 recs is generally considered standard. However, while gee_ees does make a good point about not turning down recs, I urge you, at least in the case of the seven or eight for one sorority, to draw a line somewhere. If a chapter gets more than, say, 5 recs for one girl, it starts to look a bit odd...

I get it. My M-N-L, bless her heart, sent us a list of eight women with a note that she would have a couple of more names, ALL ABC! I told my wife to please call her and stop the madness!

C

gee_ess · #4 03-31-2010, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bamababe

I agree that around 3 recs is generally considered standard. However, while gee_ees does make a good point about not turning down recs, I urge you, at least in the case of the seven or eight for one sorority, to draw a line somewhere. If a chapter gets more than, say, 5 recs for one girl, it starts to look a bit odd...

I am sure we have probably discussed this elsewhere, but at some of the SEC competitive schools, when lots of personal knowledge recs(written by an alum who knows the girl personally!) come in for a girl, the actives don't think it is odd...They think, "Wow, the alumnae are certainly interested in this girl. We had better get to know her."