How did you tell your parents?

CDancer20 · #1 03-22-2010, 01:34 AM

This is actually a great question that my younger sister is going through right now. Our mom is a member of "ABC" sorority. While originally my sister did entertain the idea of joining the sorority, it was later changed when she transferred schools and started learning about the "XYZ" sorority (the only of the 4 NPHC sororities not suspended off campus for hazing). My sister's probate show is coming soon and she wants my mom to attend. Plus she knows that soon my mom will be getting the call from the sorority soon so wants to give her the heads up first.

How should she go about expressing to my mom that she followed her heart and decided what was best for her and joined a different sorority?

DrPhil · #2 03-22-2010, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

My sister's probate show is coming soon and she wants my mom to attend. Plus she knows that soon my mom will be getting the call from the sorority soon so wants to give her the heads up first.

Why is the mom getting a call from the sorority soon?

Do you perhaps know more about some of this than a "sister" should know?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

How should she go about expressing to my mom that she followed her heart and decided what was best for her and joined a different sorority?

Just say this.

Some people take this legacy stuff too seriously and others are happy when their kids are happy with whatever healthy and smart choices they make. Hopefully, your mother is the latter.

ladygreek · #3 03-22-2010, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Why is the mom getting a call from the sorority soon?

Do you perhaps know more about some of this than a "sister" should know?

I just thought about this. It's not like they are saying come pin your child. Maybe it will be the $$$ call.

DrPhil · #4 03-22-2010, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladygreek

I just thought about this. It's not like they are saying come pin your child. Maybe it will be the $$$ call.

These aren't dependents so why would the sorority be calling the parents instead of the daughter asking her parents for money?

Also, I forgot that many aspirants don't save money/go to pawn shops, etc so they can pay for their own stuff--or at least most of it. That sucks.

ETA: Okay, the call may be about the invite to the show. Uhmm...still...why would that come from the sorority since those aren't your mother's sorors? This is strange to me.

Either case, I want my son or daughter to tell me off the bat. I'm not paying for most of it regardless, but I want them to seek my advice on something that their parents know a helluva lot more about than they do. That applies even if my daughter doesn't want to be a Delta.

CDancer20 · #5 03-22-2010, 09:03 PM

My sister actually is paying for it. She took out a school loan but she needed the money fast when she got "the call" LOL. She wasn't going to tell my dad either until at the last minute I realized I couldn't help her.

I am supposed to be getting the phone call too so it has nothing to do with money. I honestly think its just a personal invite to the probate show.

ladygreek · #6 03-23-2010, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

These aren't dependents so why would the sorority be calling the parents instead of the daughter asking her parents for money?

The parents can still claim them while they are in college if they are paying any of the tuition or expenses--or at least they could. I know I did, but tax laws have changed. The parent also then gets the bills.

But you are right, in this situation that wouldn't matter anyway.

ladygreek · #7 03-22-2010, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

This is actually a great question that my younger sister is going through right now. Our mom is a member of "ABC" sorority. While originally my sister did entertain the idea of joining the sorority, it was later changed when she transferred schools and started learning about the "XYZ" sorority (the only of the 4 NPHC sororities not suspended off campus for hazing). My sister's probate show is coming soon and she wants my mom to attend. Plus she knows that soon my mom will be getting the call from the sorority soon so wants to give her the heads up first.

How should she go about expressing to my mom that she followed her heart and decided what was best for her and joined a different sorority?

Your Mom has no idea that she is in the process of joining a sorority? Wow.

CDancer20 · #8 03-22-2010, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Why is the mom getting a call from the sorority soon? Do you perhaps know more about some of this than a "sister" should know?

DrPhi, I am not sure what "the call" is about. My sister just told me to be on the look out for it soon. I think it is a personal invitation to the probate show or whatever. I actually don't know anything about her process. She has not told me. I only know that she is going through MIP because 1-I was there when she got the call. 2-In the beginning, I had agreed to loan her the money she needed but soon realized I didn't have to funds when I had to pay for school. 3-LOL, I AM her sister so of course she confided in me that she was interested in the organization.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Your Mom has no idea that she is in the process of joining a sorority? Wow.

ladygreek, no my mom does not know. 1-My sister didn't know how to tell her that she wasn't going to do her sorority. She had once told my mom she was thinking about it and she says she could hear the hurt in my mom's voice. 2-My sister wanted to surprise my mom. She only had to tell my dad when she needed the money lol. (My parents aren't married anymore).

ladygreek · #9 03-22-2010, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

DrPhi, I am not sure what "the call" is about. My sister just told me to be on the look out for it soon. I think it is a personal invitation to the probate show or whatever.

ladygreek, no my mom does not know. 1-My sister didn't know how to tell her that she wasn't going to do her sorority. She had once told my mom she was thinking about it and she says she could hear the hurt in my mom's voice. 2-My sister wanted to surprise my mom. She only had to tell my dad when she needed the money lol. (My parents aren't married anymore).

Wait! She could hear the hurt in your Mom's voice when she told her she was interested in another sorority. And now she wants to surprise her? And your Dad, your Mom's ex-husband, knew because he paid for it. Woosah--talk about blindsiding someone.

mccoyred · #10 03-24-2010, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDancer20

This is actually a great question that my younger sister is going through right now. Our mom is a member of "ABC" sorority. While originally my sister did entertain the idea of joining the sorority, it was later changed when she transferred schools and started learning about the "XYZ" sorority (the only of the 4 NPHC sororities not suspended off campus for hazing). My sister's probate show is coming soon and she wants my mom to attend. Plus she knows that soon my mom will be getting the call from the sorority soon so wants to give her the heads up first.

How should she go about expressing to my mom that she followed her heart and decided what was best for her and joined a different sorority?

It seems like she took what was available, regardless...