I NEVER attended an AKA party or any other organization's parties until after I pledged. I only attended parties when it revolved around step shows. I'm not a big party person so when my friends went out, I stayed in my room watching tv or catching up on some work.
And you know what? I don't think they even noticed I was never there! However, they did take notice of the other activities and events I attended.
I would like to add that on my campus, the BGLOs held parties at a facility on our campus under the watchful eyes of graduate advisors and members of campus security. Our parties did not involve smoking, drinking, etc.
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