When Defriending Hurts !!

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by chickenoodle

My mom friended me on FB a couple of months ago. At first it was kinda weird, then I realized that FB is just a method of keeping in touch with friends and family. I haven't lived with my mom in 6 years and FB helps us stay connected on a daily basis. However, I put my more vulgar friends on notice and have deleted some of their crass comments.

Since becoming a pledge and friending half of the chapter, I monitor my FB hardcore. I don't take pictures with alcohol, I rarely complain or swear in my status updates or comments and I make sure to use decent grammar and punctuation. It's not too much of a stretch considering I'm pretty conservative to begin with, but I figure why jeapordize my pledge process because of something so stupid?

As far as defriending people, I only friend people I know (except with SL) so I never had to defriend a close contact. I've hidden feeds before because a couple friends overwhelmed my homepage, but never defriended.

(But seriously, a whole thread about defriending people?)

Your perception might change once you are out in the "real world" and have several worlds colliding on your FB. People from different areas of your life - HS, college/sorority, family, online-only friends, co workers from several different jobs, people in your neighborhood, hobbies/clubs, church friends, etc.

When you're in college, you pretty much have your friends from home, your college friends, and family - IRL and online. The lines tend to blur when people on your friends list have varying levels of familiarity. Also, people change over time. Someone you are really close with right now might end up becoming someone you don't want to be part of your online reality. You might choose to hide some people from appearing on your wall, you might block some people from seeing your pictures or updates, etc. And yes, you might defriend people.

Those of us who didn't grow up on the internet tend to still maintain those barriers we have built up over time. Some things, we let our family in on, some things, we wouldn't want a coworker to know. Pre-internet, it was easier to manage those identities. If we want to be part of the online world, we need to tools to keep the same sense of compartmentalization.

[chickenoodle]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Your perception might change once you are out in the "real world" and have several worlds colliding on your FB. People from different areas of your life - HS, college/sorority, family, online-only friends, co workers from several different jobs, people in your neighborhood, hobbies/clubs, church friends, etc.

When you're in college, you pretty much have your friends from home, your college friends, and family - IRL and online. The lines tend to blur when people on your friends list have varying levels of familiarity. Also, people change over time. Someone you are really close with right now might end up becoming someone you don't want to be part of your online reality. You might choose to hide some people from appearing on your wall, you might block some people from seeing your pictures or updates, etc. And yes, you might defriend people.

Those of us who didn't grow up on the internet tend to still maintain those barriers we have built up over time. Some things, we let our family in on, some things, we wouldn't want a coworker to know. Pre-internet, it was easier to manage those identities. If we want to be part of the online world, we need to tools to keep the same sense of compartmentalization.

I am older than you may realize, and I'm not part of the recent generation that has grown up on the internet. I have many people on my FB including coworkers from 2 jobs ago, friends from high school (5 years ago), people from my fraternity and people I work with on school group projects. I'd say my network is pretty diverse, but if one of those people chooses to defriend me on a social networking website, I don't get upset about it (unless it were a close friend or family member). They did it for whatever reason, and I have other ways to get in touch with them if I need to.

It's a social networking tool. It's a method to stay in contact with people that is easier than calling or writing. As a result, it's easier to discontinue those relationships. Yes, there are hurt feelings but I don't see a difference between defriending someone and never calling or writing, except that defriending is more immediate and obvious.