Asking daddy's permission before proposing

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Maybe I'm too modern, but I would have been totally and completely offended had either of my husbands asked my father for permission. My father did not own me once I turned 18. I was my own person making my own decisions. My father should have NO SAY in who I choose to marry. The man controlled every aspect of my life as long as I lived in his home. As soon as I was out, no way, no how was he going to have any say in how I lived my life.

In my family (I'm Italian), that's the way it's done. It's a matter of respect to the father. My husband drove 2 hours in a snowstorm to ask my dad in person. Of course, my dad, knowing his daughter, laughed and said "well it's really up to her", but appreciated the gesture wholeheartedly. And it makes for a lovely story! And I have to say, many years later, my dad still calls my husband "son".

[MysticCat]

I've never thought of it as asking for dad's permission so much as asking for his blessing.

In my case, I just made sure I knew what my (now) wife wanted, and it was very clear that, because of her close relationship with her father, she wanted to me to ask him for her hand, not tell him that we were getting married. So I did, and as I said in the other thread, my wife still enjoys remembering his reaction.

When it's my daughter's turn, as long as I think she's making a good match, I won't lose any sleep at all if he doesn't ask me, nor will I take offense if he does. I'll be happy as long as he does what makes her happy.

[amanda6035]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

In my family (I'm Italian), that's the way it's done. It's a matter of respect to the father. My husband drove 2 hours in a snowstorm to ask my dad in person. Of course, my dad, knowing his daughter, laughed and said "well it's really up to her", but appreciated the gesture wholeheartedly. And it makes for a lovely story! And I have to say, many years later, my dad still calls my husband "son".

My husband and I were dating long distance while he was still in the military. he drove from Norfolk VA to Atlanta to ask my Dad over lunch, on a day that I was out Christmas shopping with my mom. When I returned home that day, he was waiting for me by the Christmas tree, down on one knee.

It wasn't permission, it was out of respect.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by amanda6035

My husband and I were dating long distance while he was still in the military. he drove from Norfolk VA to Atlanta to ask my Dad over lunch, on a day that I was out Christmas shopping with my mom. When I returned home that day, he was waiting for me by the Christmas tree, down on one knee.

It wasn't permission, it was out of respect.

What a sweet story! By the way, my husband proposed in front of my extended family on Christmas Eve!