I was absolutely devastated. I was confused. I knew I could accept the bid from
Mackinac and still enjoy sorority life. But that wasn’t what I wanted. My heart was not in it. I felt so betrayed by
Vermont and didn’t understand how those women could have treated me the way they did and say the things they did and then not offer me a bid.
Common sense would have dictated that I call
Mackinac and accept my bid. For some reason I didn’t. (Personally, I believe it was the restraining hand of God which I have seen time and time again in my life.) The next day I got up, still totally confused and depressed. The doorbell rang mid-morning and when I opened the door I discovered it was the rush chair and another woman from
Vermont. With my bid. The two sisters who had come out to deliver it the day before had gotten lost and not delivered it. I will never understand why they couldn’t find my house or why someone didn’t just call for directions. It had made for one of the most miserable twenty-four hours of my life. But they were here now with my bid and a sincere apology for the mix-up.
I happily accepted my bid from
Vermont, the very first sorority I had visited and that had instantly felt like home. In retrospect, I think my sorority fate had been sealed in the first thirty seconds of informal rush. Telling Katie that I was going
Vermont instead of
Mackinac was very hard, but she was kind and gracious about it. She even brought me a gift of
Vermont things after I pledged. We worked together for a few years after that and continued to have a great relationship.
Even though I pledged part way through my sophomore year, I had three and a half years as an active since I took five years to get through school as a result of changing my major. So the girl who lived at home and was not confident enough to go through formal rush by herself ended up serving as chapter president twice, won a top scholarship from her national sorority, was a Greek Week Co-Chair, was university Homecoming Co-Chair, was a finalist for Greek Woman of the Year, and ended up being named one of the 25 Outstanding Seniors of the university. I also had the privilege of attending my sorority’s centennial convention, a truly incredible and unforgettable experience. My sorority membership completely changed my college experience and allowed me to grow as a person in ways I could never have imagined.
I told my retro rush story because there are so many campuses where there are solid young women who go through rush who don’t have the perfect pedigree, family connections, and Greek knowledge. They may be attractive but not drop dead gorgeous. But if a moderately attractive young woman who lived at home and needed a friend to walk her through informal rush can be successful and enjoy sorority life so much, then I know how much sorority membership has to offer so many other young women in college today.
I also told my story to illustrate the fact that on many, many campuses a woman doesn’t have to join a “top tier” group in order to benefit from sorority membership and be successful both on campus and in the Greek system. Being in a “lower tier” sorority didn’t hinder me in any significant way. In fact, I believe it was a great asset for me personally in terms of opportunities for leadership and personal growth. I will not lie. There are times it is very challenging to be in a “lower tier” sorority and on our campus there were three very distinct tiers that were often hostile to each other. But every time I read a story on GreekChat about a woman who decides she would rather not be Greek than be in a “lower tier” sorority, I grieve for her and what she has potentially given up. Being Greek is about so much more than a few years in college, and it is unfortunate that many young women are not able to see beyond the thirty-six or forty-eight months ahead of them to the decades of enjoyment they could have as a sorority member.
In closing, I’m happy to share that I am a member of
Tri Delta and in my scrapbook alongside my bid from DDD is also my bid from Katie’s chapter of
Alpha Xi Delta, a sorority that will always have a special place in my heart because of Katie’s friendship and the way she guided me through something that truly changed my life.
Hybrid Mode
