Advice for PNMs: Not getting a bid to your 1st choice.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

All great advice. THanks for starting this thread KSU.

One thing that I would add: do not feel/complain that the group that you did not receive a bid from was "fake," "led you on," "lied to you," etc.

YES.

To add:

Just because XYZ didn't give you a bid, doesn't mean it's cool for you trashtalk them or spread rumors about them.

So don't go around saying "It's ok I love being a Beta. Amy from my rush group's neighbor's lab partner got a bid to Alpha and she told me that they circle your fat!"

Spreading rumors about your first choice does not make you or your new sorority look better. It just makes you tacky.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

YES.

To add:

Just because XYZ didn't give you a bid, doesn't mean it's cool for you trashtalk them or spread rumors about them.

So don't go around saying "It's ok I love being a Beta. Amy from my rush group's neighbor's lab partner got a bid to Alpha and she told me that they circle your fat!"

Spreading rumors about your first choice does not make you or your new sorority look better. It just makes you tacky.

I'd take this even a step further and keep in mind all during recruitment that you represent your future chapter and people will judge the strength of your pledge class based on impressions that you make other places. Be sincere and as positive as you can throughout the process, and your eventual chapter will be better for it.

[KSUViolet06]

Another thing:

Don't ask girls from your first choice chapter why you didn't get a bid.

It puts them in a really awkward position when you ask that, as Membership Selection is private.

It's also awkward because they probably do like you as a person and don't want to hurt your feelings.

Also:

Don't assume that everyone got their first choice except for you.

Not so. There are likely quite a few girls who got their 2nnd or 3rd choice chapters.

Not everyone gets their first choice, that's just how it works.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Also:

Don't assume that everyone got their first choice except for you.

Not so. There are likely quite a few girls who got their 2nnd or 3rd choice chapters.

Not everyone gets their first choice, that's just how it works.

I couldn't have said that any better, but I'd like to tack on a suggestion:

Your first week in your chapter is when you should know that you know that you know what being discreet is all about; what to say about your new sorority to others, what you say to your new sisters, how you handle your own feelings. It's not just warm fuzzies, it's growing up!

[BlueCarnation]

Such a great post! I didn't get my first choice and I was devastated at first. I was SURE I was going to get my first choice, and just couldn't believe I didn't.

Then I went to my Bid Day events, met some great girls and decided to give it a chance. It was the best thing I ever did. I met some of my closest friends in the world, was a leader in my pledge class, on my exec board and on my university's Panhellenic board. I was usually a walking billboard for my sorority. I know I would not have gotten the experiences and opportunities I had had I joined another chapter. Turns out, I am still very close friends with girls from my "first choice," and I lived with a few of them after college, but I know that I ended up where I was supposed to be. I am so glad that I joined the house I did--of course the other sorority is a wonderful organization and I would have been proud to be a member. But for who I was in college and who I am now, I know it worked out like it was supposed to.

[prettygirlie]

(sorry I edited what I said. I absolutely have no idea what I'm talking about, and should probably just shut up.)

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by prettygirlie

how would you determine no warm fuzzies/ it just being not right for you?
Not to offend anyone but I feel as if this is slightly misleading advice, as in being in any sorority will be an end all fix for sisterhood and happiness. From what has been said on GC, all chapters totally have different personalities & interests. No matter what big decision you go through in life, it's so so important to trust your gut and your heart. If it's not right, don't try to fit a square peg in a round hole so to speak.

That being said, if you have good feelings for a 2nd choice too who knows! Try it out!

All in all, hopefully PMNs out there keep in mind what's best for them (be free thinkers!) and have honest intentions for pledging.

But what do I know (: I'm a PMN this year too. That's my little life philosophy and my approach to rush this year.

good luck to everyone rushing with me! it's gonna be so so exciting! (:

Even joining your favorite group won't guarantee that you'll feel immediate sisterhood. Everything takes time and work. If you end up in your 2nd or 3rd choice, it just may take more time. The interesting thing about recruitment is that you see such a tiny part of a chapter. It's generally a good idea to give them a little more time to try things out. Since there are usually lots of girls in the chapter you've never even met, odds are you'll meet several people that you'll feel a connection to when you finally meet everyone. The difference is with your favorite group, you met those girls first thing during recruitment. If you actually met everyone in that group, you'd probably find out you didn't like everyone in that group. It's what happens when you put any large group of women together.