Where are all the Potential PNMs?

[carnation]

You know who I feel sorry for? The girls who are from non-Greek families or small towns who've been to Orientation at their universities and gotten their Go Greek materials and desperately want to be Greek and don't even know where to start. Some of these girls would make fabulous members. They've asked dozens of women if they're alums but so far, no luck. Oddly enough- in this large town I live in, asking teachers used to net few results because so many had attended 1 of the 2 colleges in town; 1 with no Greeks, the other without national Greeks until recently. Especially at the county schools, the PNMs were desperate.

Anyway, many of these girls may be cut heavily after 1st and 2nd parties at the big universities because cuts are so heavy then and these girls don't have the social network that others have. PNMs, if you're reading this, please try to use every avenue possible to get recs; maybe the women at www.npcwomen.org can help you locate alums. Whatever you do, don't sit back and give up!

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by carnation

You know who I feel sorry for? The girls who are from non-Greek families or small towns who've been to Orientation at their universities and gotten their Go Greek materials and desperately want to be Greek and don't even know where to start. Some of these girls would make fabulous members. They've asked dozens of women if they're alums but so far, no luck. Oddly enough- in this large town I live in, asking teachers used to net few results because so many had attended 1 of the 2 colleges in town; 1 with no Greeks, the other without national Greeks until recently. Especially at the county schools, the PNMs were desperate.

Anyway, many of these girls may be cut heavily after 1st and 2nd parties at the big universities because cuts are so heavy then and these girls don't have the social network that others have. PNMs, if you're reading this, please try to use every avenue possible to get recs; maybe the women at www.npcwomen.org can help you locate alums. Whatever you do, don't sit back and give up!

I completely agree. I get tired of people on here saying, "Go ask your alumnae panhellenic," or "ask your teachers." In my small little town, ONE, yes, ONE teacher/person went to a sorority. We currently have a total of 3 people either in a sorority or who have just left college. But, since the other girl and I live in in other towns, it's back to the same ONE person in the entire county... So,

Sometimes, there just ISN'T anyone to write a rec. And, people don't seem to understand what it is like to go down every single avenue only to find NO ONE who is in a sorority. Rural areas don't have a ton of alumnae.

So, I am not as hard on girls who come here looking for info on recs. I have even written a rec for a girl in the same situation I faced when rushing.

Back then, I called the headquarters of the groups to get more info on trying to find alumnae in my area. Some were nice. Some actually told me, "If Ole Miss wants you, they will find a rec FOR you. But, we will not help you find an alumna. Bye." (I still remember that bit of unkindness today.)

Point is, there are girls who just have very few options when it comes to recs. I think it almost amounts to a bit of an unfair advantage for girls in more urban areas with PA to help them out.

I just see no need to be totally against people seeking help to secure a rec. They just need to be nice, discreet, and not stupid about it. I can always point them in the direction of someone in their area. And, honestly, I don't see why more people can't do the same! It takes two or three minutes to look up a key woman for the area...

ETA: The girl I wrote a rec for??? Not only joined, but has become a distinguished member and officer. See? Not every PNM is stupid and evil... Now, if the PNM is from, say, Dallas or Nashville proper, then I have issues with her finding a rec. But, chick from Podunk, TN? That is a situation I would consider helping...

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

I completely agree. I get tired of people on here saying, "Go ask your alumnae panhellenic," or "ask your teachers." In my small little town, ONE, yes, ONE teacher/person went to a sorority. We currently have a total of 3 people either in a sorority or who have just left college. But, since the other girl and I live in in other towns, it's back to the same ONE person in the entire county... So,

Sometimes, there just ISN'T anyone to write a rec. And, people don't seem to understand what it is like to go down every single avenue only to find NO ONE who is in a sorority. Rural areas don't have a ton of alumnae.

So, I am not as hard on girls who come here looking for info on recs. I have even written a rec for a girl in the same situation I faced when rushing.

Back then, I called the headquarters of the groups to get more info on trying to find alumnae in my area. Some were nice. Some actually told me, "If Ole Miss wants you, they will find a rec FOR you. But, we will not help you find an alumna. Bye." (I still remember that bit of unkindness today.)

Point is, there are girls who just have very few options when it comes to recs. I think it almost amounts to a bit of an unfair advantage for girls in more urban areas with PA to help them out.

I just see no need to be totally against people seeking help to secure a rec. They just need to be nice, discreet, and not stupid about it. I can always point them in the direction of someone in their area. And, honestly, I don't see why more people can't do the same! It takes two or three minutes to look up a key woman for the area...

ETA: The girl I wrote a rec for??? Not only joined, but has become a distinguished member and officer. See? Not every PNM is stupid and evil... Now, if the PNM is from, say, Dallas or Nashville proper, then I have issues with her finding a rec. But, chick from Podunk, TN? That is a situation I would consider helping...

Tippiechick, carnation, and others: I agree with carnation's post and what several others have said. I do fear that a lot of people are misled by their metro area experiences and have no idea at all what very small town rural life is like. Plenty of young women from tiny towns would indeed make great members. . . .

ETA: <originally posted by carnation: You know who I feel sorry for? The girls who are from non-Greek families or small towns who've been to Orientation at their universities and gotten their Go Greek materials and desperately want to be Greek and don't even know where to start. Some of these girls would make fabulous members. They've asked dozens of women if they're alums but so far, no luck. . . . >

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by carnation

You know who I feel sorry for? The girls who are from non-Greek families or small towns who've been to Orientation at their universities and gotten their Go Greek materials and desperately want to be Greek and don't even know where to start. Some of these girls would make fabulous members. They've asked dozens of women if they're alums but so far, no luck.

This is so true.


Also, I find that the SEC PNMs who come here looking for rec help are the ones who are the LEAST well-conected (maybe from a small town, 1st generation college student, etc). They're the girls who most likely HAVE exhausted all of the avenues we talk about in terms of finding them.

In terms of helping girls with recs, I am a little nicer than others in that I have directed PNMs to an APH or alumna chapter in her area if she PMed me about needing to find one. I feel like it helps a tad, but it puts the "ball" in their court and requires them to make contact and such. I won't, however, write one for a girl I do not know.