"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[AOII Angel]

I like this discussion....

What I really don't like is the statement that PNMs should just pick the chapter where they felt was "home." It implies that everyone will actually have a feeling of home with any of the chapters. For a lot of people going through recruitment, the process is artificial, and their decisions can't be made based on arbitrary feelings of comfort (that for some PNMs, by the way, is based off of incomplete or inaccurate information or after meeting 2 out of 200 sisters in the chapter.)

IT IS COMPLETELY OKAY NOT TO "FEEL AT HOME" WITH THE CHAPTER THAT GIVES YOU A BID.

A true "feeling of home" comes with time after friendships have developed, after memories have been made. I am one of those people who would have felt stupid and fake claiming that I "found my home" by prefs and would be offended to think that my choice was seen as less valid because those feelings came with more experience.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

A true "feeling of home" comes with time after friendships have developed, after memories have been made.

Agreed.

I feel as though it is perpetuated that PNMs will instantly feel "warm fuzzies" about a chapter IMMEDIATELY when they accept a bid.

This is NOT the case for everyone.

As with ANY other relationship in life, you will not feel instantly bonded with like 100+ people right away. Heck, you may even question your decision a few times.

That's okay. You aren't going to immediately be in love with your 2nd or 3rd choice.

It takes TIME to "feel at home."

It doesn't always happen the MOMENT you accept your bid.

For some, it takes going to a few events and finding sisters that you have something in common with. Sometimes, it's meeting your Big sis. Sometimes, it takes getting initiated to feel "at home."

So don't panic should you find yourself not immediately smitten with the chapter you got a bid from.

For some, it takes getting to know people and finding out what the chapter is all about before they feel "at home." And there's nothing wrong with that.

[KSUViolet06]

I know, I'm double posting, but slong the same lines:

Just like "feeling at home" with your new chapter takes time, it also TAKES EFFORT.

You likely are NOT going to become BFFs with every single girl in your chapter overnight.

You also are not going to bond with your new sorority sisters by just sitting back and expecting them to make all the effort to get to know you.

Just like other relationships, friendships within a sorority take time and effort.

You are not going to "feel at home" or "bond with anyone" by sitting back and sulking about being in your 2nd or 3rd choice.

If you really want to feel at home, you have to:

Get to know members
Attend events
Hang out
Have fun
Get involved.

If you are just so upset about getting a bid there that you aren't willing to do any of those things, then maybe you re-think your decision.