I think Thatcher is still alive, but he's really not a part of Mere's life, especially after his wife died, remember? Have we seen Thatcher since he slapped her last season? I don't think he'd do it, nor would Derek let him. Just my thoughts.
Plus Mer and Lexie are close now and Thatcher was emotionally abusive (I don't remember of there was anything physical) to Lexie. So I highly doubt Derek or Mark would let Thatcher anywhere near them.
__________________
"A Kappa Alpha Theta isn't something you become, its something you've always been!"