Facebook Statuses

[BigRedBeta]

I've got one friend who consistently has the best statuses ever:

_____________ can't believe Joseph Angus ruined perfectly good muscrat habitat with a cattle ranch.

_____________is delivering bulls to Minnesota and hoping to overcome the language barrier.

_____________can't wait til Blackberry comes out with a bag phone.

_____________The phrase "crack of dawn" would certainly hold a different personal meaning if your name was Dawn...or Don

_____________You would be surprised how long Fruity Pebbles remain crunchy and delicious in a bowl of Miller High Life...

_____________This Huckabee Report is a disgrace to the Paul Harvey radio time slot. If I wanted to hear a bunch of conservative whining I would invite the [names redacted] over to watch Fox and play pin the flaming tail on Obama.

_____________ dug so deep in one snow drift I found 3 Oak Ridge Boys, a purple Dodge Stratus, Kerri Strug, a gift certificate to Al and Millie's, and some good advice from my high school guidance counselor, Cliff.

______________ just stopped a 2200lb cow dead in its tracks with the Care Bear Stare...

______________I hugged a number of unsuspecting dogs today.

______________got a government contract to weaponize the Snuggie...


All from the same dude...