Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

[AGDee]

When people have asked me that recently, I say stuff like "We're not so good at marriage in my family" since my history looks worse than yours, justabeachbrat:

Parents: divorced after 23 years married
Brother: just got married a week ago, his third
Me: divorced twice, 1 after 14 months, 1 after 7 years

I won't do it a third time. I see no reason to. My kids will be in college. Unless I end up doing it for health insurance purposes or something legal like that, I just don't see it happening.

twinkle555: I can understand parents asking after you've been in a 4 year relationship, depending on how it's asked. There's a way to nag about it and there's a way to just be interested in whether your child is thinking that way about a long term boyfriend. Although, if you're like my brother, you just don't mention that you're seeing anybody until a month before your wedding and then you say "By the way, Dad, I'm getting married next month". You call your sister 6 days prior to tell her.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Although, if you're like my brother, you just don't mention that you're seeing anybody until a month before your wedding and then you say "By the way, Dad, I'm getting married next month". You call your sister 6 days prior to tell her.

My mom always used to say that the only way we would know he was getting married would be when he called my mom asking for my dress size, and then a week later calling and saying "OK I'm getting married this weekend, Nicole's in the wedding and I have her dress at my house."

As luck had it, however, he fell in love with one of my best friends, so I had a year's notice!

[twinkle555]

Originally Posted by AGDee

twinkle555: I can understand parents asking after you've been in a 4 year relationship, depending on how it's asked. There's a way to nag about it and there's a way to just be interested in whether your child is thinking that way about a long term boyfriend. Although, if you're like my brother, you just don't mention that you're seeing anybody until a month before your wedding and then you say "By the way, Dad, I'm getting married next month". You call your sister 6 days prior to tell her.

They like to switch from a very annoying nag to a "we're just inquiring!"

[justabeachbrat]

[quote=AGDee;1789988]When people have asked me that recently, I say stuff like "We're not so good at marriage in my family" since my history looks worse than yours, justabeachbrat:

Parents: divorced after 23 years married
Brother: just got married a week ago, his third
Me: divorced twice, 1 after 14 months, 1 after 7 years

I did forget one....it was so quick.
My older sister eloped, married a guy on the rebound, she'd met at party--they did date a few weeks--they eloped to Las Vegas, this was when she was a college junior. I was in the dorms for summer school, she calls, says she is coming over, with a surprise. Her surprise was the elopement had been a mistake, she and they guy were parting. My mom had learned of the "wedding" and she calls to discuss a reception. Surprise, mom.

My sister had a very pretty wedding, on the beach in front of her apartment in SoCAl. She then moved the next day to Texas, the "groom" had been a guy she knew in high school, they met again through a mutual friend. He was a jerk before, and remained a jerk. From Texas, she moves to Wyoming, and he moves to CA. Just plain crazy.

I hope to marry, if it happens, fine. I have seen the marriages of friends implode, and also some who are happy.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by AGDee

twinkle555: I can understand parents asking after you've been in a 4 year relationship, depending on how it's asked. There's a way to nag about it and there's a way to just be interested in whether your child is thinking that way about a long term boyfriend.

Originally Posted by twinkle555

They like to switch from a very annoying nag to a "we're just inquiring!"

AUGH. My in-laws do the same thing when they bring up the topic of our having a baby. One second it's "You'd make such a good mother!" or "It's different when it's your own" or "Awww, look at the cute little baby over there!" and the next second it's "Of course, it's up to you when you want to have children." (Note: "when", not "if".)